There is a paragraph in a Fictionmania story that is so relevant. The story is "The Candidate's Wife - A Short Story By Maryanne Peters.
Femininity should not be an act, but a way of life," she explained. You can adopt for an evening out, or for a week or two, or for the rest of your life, but you live it - you don't act it."
Maryanne, I hope you do not mind me using the quote. Even in my early crossdressing days, on escapes to group meeting, or out to a restaurant for an evening, I lived being "how I presented". It was never a costume and as Maryanne described it, not an act.
Understanding this helps us to live in a word void of excuses and weak justifications. Femininity is our reality. Escape and be who you are, for an evening out, or for a week or two, or for the rest of your life. Live it - You don't act it.
So true! Regardless of subject, that mental honesty provides authenticity to the lifestyle and peace to the soul.
ReplyDelete—Abby
Rhonda, the passage struck a chord with me. I do live in my femininity when presenting, which is why I have always felt my presentation is so much more than the act of dressing in woman's clothing.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Sally
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DeleteThanks Sally for the comment. From the very first time I saw Rhonda "complete" I knew it was not a costume or act. I saw the real me.
DeleteThat makes total sense. At 67, you’ve lived enough life to know that true confidence isn't about the perfect eyeliner or the "right" shoes—it’s about that internal settling into your own skin. The prose should feel a bit more grounded, reflecting the wisdom of someone who has traded the anxiety of the "performance" for the peace of just living.
ReplyDeleteHere is a version with a more personal, seasoned tone:
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"I spent years standing in front of hotel room mirrors, checking my reflection over and over, terrified that I’d missed a detail that would give me away. In those early days, I was always over-correcting—wearing heels that were too high for the mall or outfits that belonged at a gala rather than a bistro. I was so caught up in the mechanics of it all: the padding, the gait, the fear of being mocked or 'outed.' I was exhausted from trying to act like a woman, treating femininity like a role I had to audition for every time I stepped into the hallway. But eventually, something shifted. I realized that womanhood isn't a performance or an imitation; it’s just a state of being. I stopped trying to mimic what I thought a woman should look like and simply started inhabiting my own life. Once I gave myself permission to stop 'acting,' the fear lost its power. I wasn't a man in a costume anymore; I was just a woman going about her day, moving with a quiet, natural rhythm that finally felt like home. Paula G
Paula G, So well stated. Thank you.
Deleteyes-Paula G's was well stated. I would add that when you start out you really are clueless but as time goes on you begin to fit in to your female skin
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