Reddit - The truth about crossdressing and being married

Mallory

I get a lot of messages about how I “came out” or how my wife took it. Hopefully this can help a lot of you out there with the same curiosity or questions.

So just some background how it happened to me… I’ve crossdressed well before I met my girlfriend who is now my wife. About two weeks before my wedding date my (at the time) girlfriend found my stash of clothes. As any normal girl would do, she assumed that I was cheating. Which is a normal response in all honesty. Therefore I was left with the question: either say I’m cheating and lose the love of my life… or tell her everything and hope she still loves me. As you can tell, I told her everything, showed proof, and hoped she wouldn’t leave me.

Her first question was if I was transgender. Which is fair. I told her that I am not transgender or any other label that falls under lgbt. More power to you if you are, I just happen to be a straight guy who likes to dress up.

The next question was why. I simply told her that I like dressing up just because. It also has to do with the fact that I’m in an extremely masculine line of work and that I need a release. For me, that just happens to be dressing up and taking on the roll of Mallory. It takes my stress away and I just like being someone else for a while. Also… the clothes feel lovely 🥰.

Once she knew why and the reason, she was very accepting. For a while I struggled with alcoholism and anger. This was a relief for me. In a way, crossdressing made me a better person/husband.

Just because you open up to your wife and she is accepting of it, doesn’t mean that it comes with boundaries.

For example: sexual activities while dressed is a no go for my wife. Which is completely understandable. She told me that she wants me to be the real me during all of that, which is perfectly fine with me.

The biggest thing is establishing boundaries with your significant other of you are like myself. You still have to respect him/her. Don’t ever try to force something onto anyone, whether it’s dressing up, or anything for that matter.

For me, I still get a little uncomfortable going full out girl mode in front of my wife. So don’t be surprised if it happens to you. I fall into a very masculine line of work, which gives me the thought that I should always be this macho man all the time.

If I’m being honest, clothes don’t bother her whatsoever. She actually loves when I wear panties. It starts to cross her sexual boundary when I wear full makeup and a wig. The reasoning behind that is because I start looking “too” feminine, and it’s a little strange for her. That being said, refer to how I mentioned everything about setting boundaries. However, at certain times, she encourages me to do my “thing” as a stress relief”

Just remember, it’s not just you…it’s about her as well. From an early start set those boundaries. This is the key to success.

What might also help is the benefits she will get. For example extra make up products or make up remover. Make up remover is a big one. As well, you have a sense of feminine style, so when she goes shopping for clothes she will trust your judgment more lol. Another thing I like to do is take care of household chores while I am dressed up. She will never be mad at you while doing that lmao. Just to be clear, I’m not saying that it’s a woman’s job to do household chores. Gender norms, as you can tell, aren’t a thing for me.

Furthermore, if you’re contemplating about telling your significant other, there is no clear answer. It’s also not guaranteed that she will be accepting. My best line of advice is to give her the reason why you like to do so.

Once again, I’m a straight male who just likes to dress up and take on the role of Mallory. If you are trans, bi, etc. this might not apply to you.

No matter what, I really hope this helps with some of you girls out there!

If you have any questions, fell free to ask!