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Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Devil vs Angel


It is almost impossible for someone who is not transgender to fully comprehend the complexity of being transgender. It is the little voice always whispering and demanding  new escapes. The - “I found the courage to do this 'impossibility', what challenges can we overcome next." As one blog recently stated:
 My heart was racing and I was immediately struck with the thought, OK, what next?
The issue for many is how do we sort the two voices? 

I have become more open with my escapes over the past 20 years, having been employed as Rhonda, and in my unique limited way, socially transitioning.  I am a member of several business networking groups, social groups and special interest groups.  Also a political/activist group.   

Attending Women's Networking Group 
What do I mean by my "Social Transition?" First, the things I have not changed.  I have not changed my legal name nor do I have any usable papers that would allow me to represent myself as anything other who I am. I do interact under my birth gender still, although not sure how well. My appearance at times may be considered androgynous, thus causing confused gendering. 

What has changed? I perceive that most when interacting accept me as female. I have not received the classic double-take in years. I am confident enough to interact at all levels socially and in any place. I no longer feel the need to display overt femininity to validate my appearance. Jeans, a t-shirt, sneakers, and minimal makeup suffice. The elaborate over-the-top presentation only garners undue attention and questions. I am happy that I have outgrown that necessity. Arriving at this place has not been easy. Many years of trepidation, and trial/error.

No matter where you are in the process, chart your own course. Support groups are beneficial and therapists are wonderful sounding boards. However, do not be influenced by others as to what your course "must" be. We are not all the same. 

I remember being at a Gender Conference many years back and hearing a presenter raising a question and then answer it. "What is the difference between someone that cross-dresses and a transsexual? - Two Years!"


Choosing Her Path
That was upsetting to me and I felt it to be inaccurate. We are all different and listening to our own internal "self" is much more important than thinking that step "A" must progress to step "Z".  Are we not all encouraging each other to be real?  Your "real" is not be the same "real" as someone else's.  My real has been different and I am happy the way it as worked out.   

Listen responsibly to the two voices. Then choose your best path.
    
      

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

National Dress Day

DANIELA STRETCH SHIFT DRESS 

This past Friday (March 6th) was 
National [Wear a] Dress Day,which was a precursor for International Women's Day occurring on Sunday.   

I celebrated although not fully realizing it was National Dress Day until late in the day. I took the day as a relaxation day arriving at my local mall and staying until mid afternoon. I so love doing this.  

To start the morning, I had breakfast with a friend a restaurant overlooking the ocean. We talked, giggled and planned for over an hour and half.  After a short drive down the ocean highway (A1A), I arrived at the mall just as it was opening.  

First a Macy's return and a try on session of two denim dresses. See, my inner self knew what day it was. I liked both but decided to wait; glad I did.

My next stop was the Lilly store and it was very busy even at 10:30 AM. And yes, I also tried on an adorable dress there. The sales staff is paid to "ohh and awe", when you ask but the dress really did look adorable. Even several other women in the changing area commented.  I picked it to try on as a lark and ended up really liking it. The sweetheart neckline is adorable. It was totally an impulse item, being the pattern is uniquely "Lilly / Palm Beach" causal. After all I do live in Palm Beach area so can and will find appropriate venues. It will be perfect of an evening out at the Colony, Palm Beach or for another cruise. The online photo shown here does not do the dress justice; it is youthful and cute. I promise a photo in the future. 



I also visited my mall's Tory Burch store, Nordstrom and Banana Republic. I am recognized and have friends at several of the stores. After lunch in the food court about 2:00 pm, I headed home. I am still proud of my celebratory day.   

So on National Dress Day I celebrated and it is already on my calendar for next year. The simplest way to celebrate National Dress Day is to wear a dress! Who said you need to wait until next year?  Not me.   


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Why We Love National Dress Day




Dresses are comfortable

Is there anything more comfortable to wear than a dress? The answer is no — and you just have to look to fashion throughout history and around the world to be assured that dresses are the best! Men, women, and children have worn versions of the dress throughout history, and it many warm countries, men wear dresses, also called tunics, as a way to stay cool.

Dresses are versatile

There are so many different kinds of dresses that there is one for every occasion! There are dresses for sleeping, dresses for lounging around the house, dresses for playing sports in, dresses for work, dresses for play, and of course, dresses for the most special occasions in our lives, like prom dresses, wedding dresses, and red carpet dresses.

Dresses are beautiful

Dresses can be pragmatic of course, but they can also be beautiful. Designer dresses can be works of art, and some of the world’s best museums have had dresses on exhibit to highlight their beauty and craftsmanship. They can be embroidered, hand-beaded, hand-stitched and made of the finest materials.