The Mask

Rhonda was a mask for many years.  I used big hair, makeup and an all body disguise so that people would not know who and, on a bad day, what I was.  Looking back on early photos I was covered up literally, head to toe. Three pairs of pantie hose to hid the legs, long sleeves hide the arms, high neck hide the chest or lack there of, and makeup thicker than drywall spakle was put on with a min-trowel. Anyone remember Dermablend?  All the effort was exhausting. Sound familiar?

However, everywhere you look you see emotional masks. Family, friends, partners, spouses, children, coworkers; even when we look at ourselves every day we see a mask(s). Maybe being male is our mask.  Maybe we wear a smile mask when we are not really happy. However, not being true to our self is the most destructive kind of mask. We must constantly portray a reality, person and personality we are not.  Just like using all that cover up, the effort is exhausting.  

1984

So why do we wear masks?  

Consciously or unconsciously we are afraid to show our true self to the world. The key word is FEAR. Why fear? Because we fear that many will make judgments, assessments and conclusions on who is behind that mask. We fear that people will not like us if we are not wearing our mask. We fear societies rejection.  


Much benefit comes from escaping our fear and being authentic;  Here is the best definition I found for "authentic" at Dictionary.com:

Representing one’s true nature or beliefs;
true to oneself or to the person identified.

As I think back I wasted many years wearing masks. The one the everyone wanted me to wear. Yes, the one I use to disguise my natural self.  I am not saying that my natural self was female but I sure did a good job of hiding my blended and authentic self.  I would have been so much happier without the mask.  

My fear was exaggerated and unfounded.    

Escape your mask(s) and be yourself.

Boho Chic - How to Wear Off-The-Shoulder

My Off-The-Shoulder Look

I love the off shoulder Bohemian "Boho Chic" look and many designers and shops have been featuring it this summer.  This is not a new invention. All you have to do is search images of movie stars from the 50's for evidence. Think: Lucille Ball, Brigitte Bardot, Natalie Wood and Grace Kelly.  All icons we remember.  According to People Style's Coleen Kratofil: 

The thing about off-the-shoulder tops is that they’re sexy without showing too much skin. In fact, they’re also sexy while being completely flattering! Thanks to the billowy design, it hides any imperfect areas.

With its popularity it is like to be around for a while I hope.  Banana Republic has a wonderful selection as well White House Black Market and Chico's.  My problem is how do you wear it?  Once you raise your arms it slides up and is no longer "off-the-shoulder".  

I found a wonderful fashion hack here:

Just to clarify - The elastics goes under your arms and it works!  Here is Heather Yamada-Hosley Web site with more detail written instructions.

Have a beautiful "Off-The-Shoulder" summer!