Travelin' Thru...

Flashback: See Dolly Parton Stand for Transgender Equality

Rolling Stone: In 2006, Parton embraced and encouraged inclusion by writing the theme tune for Transamerica, a big-screen film about a pre-operative transgender woman meeting and traveling cross-country with the son she never knew. It may have been a risky proposition for a Hollywood film, and perhaps even more so for a country icon, but Parton took it all in stride, in spite of revealing to USA Today at the time that her support of the LGBT community has subjected her to hate mail.

January 31st, 2006, Transamerica earned lead actress Felicity Huffman an Oscar nomination, and Parton earned one for writing the jaunty, bluegrass-infused “Travelin’ Thru” for the film’s end credits.

She has continued to champion LGBT rights and in the wake of North Carolina’s controversial, so-called “bathroom bill” – which forced transgender individuals to use restrooms associated with their gender assigned at birth – Parton posted a video in which she said, “I think everybody should be treated with respect. I don’t judge people. I try not to get too caught up in all the controversy of things. I hope that everybody gets a chance to be who and what they are.”

Here are the Lyrics for Travelin' Thru

Well I can't tell you where I'm going, I'm not sure of where I've been

But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end

I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it

I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit

Like a poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song

I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find what feels like home

Where that is no one can tell me, am I doomed to ever roam

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' on

Questions I have many, answers but a few

But we're here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth

We've all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree

And when I'm born again, you're gonna see a change in me

God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain

Redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain

Oh sweet Jesus if you're listening, keep me ever close to you

As I'm stumblin', tumblin', wonderin', as I'm travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

Oh sometimes the road is rugged, and it's hard to travel on

But holdin' to each other, we don't have to walk alone

When everything is broken, we can mend it if we try

We can make a world of difference, if we want to we can fly

Goodbye little children, goodnight you handsome men

Farewell to all you ladies and to all who knew me when

And I hope I'll see you down the road, you meant more than I knew

As I was travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin'

Drifting like a floating boat and roaming like the wind

Oh give me some direction lord, let me lean on you

As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song

I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find my own way home

Oh sweet Jesus if you're out there, keep me ever close to you

As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', as I'm travelin' thru

Surviving the Holidays...

 As a Transgender or Non-binary Person

Happy December!

My Note: This past weekend marked the start of the holiday season. I hope you had a safe US Thanksgiving. December is a month of holidays and regardless your faith, you are likely to be involved with family times. I am so fortunate to have an accepting / loving family and and treasure every moment I have with them. I love you guys! Even in the best of times, holiday events can present history re-visited, conflict and trepidation. Below is an article of useful suggestions on coping.  Stay healthy, grounded and above all else be true to yourself.  

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By: Ryan Sallans*

It is that time of year again: the holiday season. It is supposed to be a time of merriment and joining together of family, but for many it just winds up being a time of despair, dread, hangovers, fights, tears, and sadness.

For those of us who have transitioned or are non-binary this can also include wondering how grandma will respond when she sees you either with a new haircut, masculine or feminine clothes, sporting some sweet sideburns, or binding/enhancing your chest. 

it can be a time where you count down the hours before you can go home, which preferably is several hours or more away from the scrutiny that is your family. 

For many, the holiday season has lost its magical appeal and now, just sucks. So with all that can suck around the holidays, how can one make it through and maybe even enjoy it a little (I said a little, not a ton). 

Just remember that you aren't alone and there are people who get it. Here are some ideas for any of you out there reading this:

1. Check to see if your friends will be in town or around/available for some hang out time or an instant SOS. 
   
   
2. Make sure the Internet is working where ever you are staying and that there is a cell phone signal. (This last point may require wandering around the house with your arm up in the air or around outside to the furthest corner of your property, if you live in a small town like the one I grew up in.)
   
   
3. Align with a family member that you get along with and try to avoid rooms with the ones you can’t stand.
   
   
4. Offer to run errands for any item on the grocery list that was forgotten. 
   
   
5. Show up late and leave early.
   
   
6. If when you come and go is not an option, then sleep in and go to bed early 

For those of you out there who are trying to mend fences or find a peace with your family, instead of avoiding them or drowning your discomfort with spiked eggnog, then disregard the above list and consider the next few paragraphs as food for thought. 

Getting along and feeling accepted by family is one of the hardest things to do for many of us, which is ironic since family is supposed to be the one group of people where we should feel accepted and loved.

During the holiday season, ask yourself the following questions:

    What type of relationship would I like with my family? 

    In regard to acceptance, where is my family at, at this time?

    How far do I think can I move them toward understanding this holiday season? 

    And how much effort do I think it will take? 

One of the best ways to try and heal the wounds, and move everyone forward, is to sit in the discomfort, avoid going on the defensive, and honestly express how you are feeling and what you’d love to see happen with the family. 

If someone in your family starts going on the defensive then first take a step back; nothing can be resolved when there is yelling and the projection of uncomfortable feelings at you. Next, remind yourself that any hurtful words being said are not really words directed at you; they are the individual’s own fears, confusion, and anger that is just getting tossed at you. 

The only way we can start to heal relationships is by addressing the hard stuff. If we stick with avoidance, then that is what we get back.  Just like people who advocate for LGBTQ rights, we have to advocate for love in our family. If we stay silent or allow them to walk all over us, we’ll never be able to move forward (or it will be a more painful process to do so). 

*Ryan Sallans is a public speaker, diversity trainer, consultant, and publisher and author of the book Second Son. Ryan specializes in healthcare, workplace, and college campus issues surrounding the LGBTQIA community, with a specialized focus on the transgender community

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If you have any family holiday heartwarming experiences, please write me.  I love to post success stories.   Happy December.