Yesterday I discussed one parent’s possible lack of understanding on what being transgender means. A mother much preferred noting her daughter to be a “tomboy” and not "transgender". For those who do not understand they may feel that there is a slippery slope from gender non-conforming to transgender to transsexual. A pop culture example: Caitlyn Jenner by her own admission is transgender. However, is she also a transsexual? Having just finished her book I would say yes. She states unequivocally, not identifying with her gender assigned at birth and struggling all her life to fit into a male world. This is a story that I have heard many times and accept it to be “not a chosen reality", but a fact within someone’s frame of mind or in computer terms - operating system. Spoiler alert - Caitlyn has undergone reassignment surgery. One definition of being transgender: You may not identify with the gender assigned to you at birth and/or express your gender in a non-conventional way. Transsexual people, on the other hand not only feel a disconnect with their gender but with their assigned sex as well. No one can influence one into becoming any of the above. It is a state of mind, like left handed, dyslexic or artistic. Accepting the reality may take time but the state of being is just there. I am happy with the umbrella term transgender and comfortable using it. Example: Several weeks ago, I had my annual wellness physical. My doctor ask – Is there anything else? Wow, what a leading question. I wanted my medical records to state that I was transgender. I stated for the record that I am transgender and then ask the Doctor, did he understand? He stated yes, but to be sure, I added, “I am not seeking body changes through medical surgeries – I am content with my body. However I do express my gender in a non-conventional manner.” That is the way it was left…. I am pleased that there is a term that does fully convey my reality.
I read an interesting NY Times opinion piece. “My Daughter Is Not Transgender. She’s a Tomboy” by LISA SELIN DAVIS. ( 4/18/2017) It has been debated on several blogs as transphobic, and not accepting; One called it a gross form of denial another child abuse. Here is a excerpt from the article:
The message I want to send my daughter is this: You are an awesome girl for not giving in to pressure to be and look a certain way. I want her to be proud to be a girl.
And she is starting to be. She is already vigilant about women’s rights. She does not understand why there are separate men’s and women’s sports teams, why women earn less and why they don’t run our country. She identifies as a tomboy, because that’s what some kids at school told her she was, though she has also said, “Why is it a tomboy?” When kids say she’s in the wrong bathroom, she tells them, “I’m a girl,” and invariably they say, “Oh, O.K.”
The kids get it. But the grown-ups do not. While celebrating the diversity of sexual and gender identities, we also need to celebrate tomboys and other girls who fall outside the narrow confines of gender roles. Don’t tell them that they’re not girls.
….She is my hero. Or rather, my heroine.
Kids are living in wonderful times. Times when they can find support, know they are not alone and have the internet for research. The problem is not the kids but the parents. An extreme example: Josh Alcorn, the Ohio teen who committed suicide in 2015 would still be alive has she receives acceptance at home. Leelah's (Josh’s) suicide note stated, she struggled for a long time to gain her parents' acceptance as a transgender teen. Parents do not be judgmental. Give guidance like, stay in school, study hard, choose your friends wisely, be true to yourself…. Parents, do not try and make your child into something they are not. Your undue pressure and denial will cause self-doubt and insecurity. Growing up I had much freedom of self expression with out judgement. Using my own intelligence I choose a correct course for myself. For that I am forever grateful.
Yesterday I discussed one parent’s possible lack of understanding on what being transgender means. A mother much preferred noting her daughter to be a “tomboy” and not "transgender". For those who do not understand they may feel that there is a slippery slope from gender non-conforming to transgender to transsexual. 
