Monday, June 5, 2017

Tomboy vs Transgender

My tomboy t-shirt 
I read an interesting NY Times opinion piece.  “My Daughter Is Not Transgender. She’s a Tomboy” by LISA SELIN DAVIS. ( 4/18/2017)

It has been debated on several blogs as transphobic, and not accepting; One called it a gross form of denial another child abuse.  Here is a excerpt from the article: 

The message I want to send my daughter is this: You are an awesome girl for not giving in to pressure to be and look a certain way. I want her to be proud to be a girl.

And she is starting to be. She is already vigilant about women’s rights. She does not understand why there are separate men’s and women’s sports teams, why women earn less and why they don’t run our country. She identifies as a tomboy, because that’s what some kids at school told her she was, though she has also said, “Why is it a tomboy?” When kids say she’s in the wrong bathroom, she tells them, “I’m a girl,” and invariably they say, “Oh, O.K.”

The kids get it. But the grown-ups do not. While celebrating the diversity of sexual and gender identities, we also need to celebrate tomboys and other girls who fall outside the narrow confines of gender roles. Don’t tell them that they’re not girls.

….She is my hero. Or rather, my heroine.

Kids are living in wonderful times.  Times when they can find support, know they are not alone and have the internet for research. The problem is not the kids but the parents. An extreme example: Josh Alcorn, the Ohio teen who committed suicide in 2015 would still be alive has she receives acceptance at home. Leelah's (Josh’s) suicide note stated, she struggled for a long time to gain her parents' acceptance as a transgender teen.

Parents do not be judgmental. Give guidance like, stay in school, study hard, choose your friends wisely, be true to yourself…. Parents, do not try and make your child into something they are not. Your undue pressure and denial will cause self-doubt and insecurity.    

Growing up I had much freedom of self expression with out judgement. Using my own intelligence I choose a correct course for myself. For that I am forever grateful.

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