Monday, November 30, 2020

I Love A Success Story - Vladimir Luxuria

My first political act was to be open about myself.

By: Hynek Toman
17 May 2019

Vladimir Luxuria
In 2006 you were elected a member of the Italian Parliament becoming the first ever trans person elected a member of a European parliament. 

What was your motivation to go into politics?

It is often said that my election to parliament in 2006 was my first political action, but actually my first political act was at the age of 16 when I realized who I was and decided to be open about myself. To be open and out about your true self is the best political action. To speak for the others who did not have the possibility to express themselves. That was my first political action, to express my inner part, express my nature, to follow my nature, my own voice. A person who can look in the mirror, recognize and ask a question: Everything OK, Vladi? And to answer – yes, everything OK. For me, political means when you want to change society when you think you can hope for a better world. If we hide there is no chance to contribute to making the world a better place.

How were you perceived as a trans woman in the Italian parliament?

As soon as the news came out that a trans woman would be a member of the parliament the first reactions were both positive and negative. The positive were: Good, finally somebody who can represent us and tell our stories. The negative – omg, what have we done, this is a disgrace, dishonor for such an important institution. Some people compared me with Ciciollina, the porn-star elected before me, although we are totally different, our careers are very different. I was a representative of the people. When going to public debates I had these fascist groups protesting against me, some even violently throwing objects. It was very hard, but the more I was working the more consent I had from a lot of people. In fact I have been elected with lots of votes. For them it was more of a dishonor that a trans person went into parliament than having some corrupted men or people doing politics only for power in the parliament.

How did your political engagement help in terms of LGBT and trans rights advancement and what was your agenda in this respect?

It was a very strong signal to see a trans person in the Italian parliament, which meant that when you are transgender, you don’t have to be destined to be outside society, but a part of the society, even representing the society. Symbolically it was a very strong signal. I was also present at the parliament all the time, not to miss anything. I did not want to be criticized and even those who criticized me in the beginning came and apologized to me later. I prepared a proposal for a law about fully-fledged citizenship for trans people in all aspects of life; sanitary issues, work opportunities, cultural involvement. I didn’t work alone but with all the trans associations in Italy, but unfortunately the government fell after just two years in 2008 and I didn’t have the time to make this proposal become a reality. But there were other things too – such as a lot of cases of trans women imprisoned, in Saudi Arabia and Egypt, I did a diplomacy course and helped these people, I also worked on cases of workplace discrimination, these are the things you can do for the improvement of daily life. Another important thing was to improve the inclusion and hospitality for people who are discriminated against or persecuted in their countries for sexual orientation and gender identity.

In the Czech Republic, the situation regarding trans rights is difficult with forced sterilization and divorce being conditions for legal gender recognition for trans people – what is the situation in Italy?

I worked for the free choice of trans people to have their name and gender changed in the documents without an operation, which is now possible. In Italy it is not a specific law but a decision of the tribunals in individual towns, but most of them now have a positive attitude and solutions.

What can be changed for the better for trans people in Italy?

First of all to change the prejudice against trans women, more women than men, especially when applying for a job, they are judged just by the fact they are trans. They are not valued or measured for their qualities. Many trans women are then compelled to be prostitutes when they do not have any other chance. The second thing is access to testosterone for trans men, because it is not included in the medication leaflet that testosterone can be used as a treatment for transgender men. Another thing that can be changed is not to suspend hormonal therapy for trans people in prison, and many more things. There is still a long way ahead.

Transition – do you see your trans identity as something given or a process? Is surgery necessary for trans people to prove that we are trans enough as expected in the Czech Republic?

There are people who think that things can be put in order by having genital surgery. People have the right to decide for operation if they want it. For years, there was no other possibility to change the gender in the documents without the operation. Many people were compelled to have the operation. Every one of us has the right to decide about their body, you should not do things for others, but for yourself. There are many ways of being transgender and many processes, and every one of us has the right to decide about their process. If you are neither a male nor a female you are forced to make a decision. Yes, I already made the decision and decided for myself, and you shut up.

Does the LGBT community see trans rights as important enough and are they supportive?

In the past, we were not considered even to be a part of the community, to be honest. Then fortunately we became a team inside our fight and understood that either we fight together or will never reach our target. And in Italy, when we talk about LGBT issues we always take into consideration trans issues. But for some specific issues that only relate to the trans community there always has to be a trans representative because only we know what we want.

Friday, November 27, 2020

Think - We Can Do This


Enjoying A Long Florida Long Weekend

I hope everyone had a safe holiday. 

Let's get through the next few week with clear heads and respect for our family, friends and those we encounter.  Wear a mask!  There is a vaccine on the way and we can get trough this.    

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Empowerment: Wear What You Like!

Women Empowerment: Pants Are Powerful!

You could have been arrested for wearing pants in public!

My Note: It was not that long ago that men could have been arrested for wearing a dress in public.  

That’s one of many struggles woman had to face up until 1940. Yes, you read that right: until 1940, if you were a woman you could not wear pants in public without the risk of getting arrested.

78 years later, the thought of getting arrested for wearing pants sounds ludicrous. I sit, here at my desk, writing today’s blog post in a pair of pants. In fact, once I finish this post I’ll head out (into the public) for a family get together, and I’ll be wearing a pair of pants (actually, I’m repeating the exact same outfit I wore for this post). To think that if this was 78 years earlier I wouldn’t have the luxury of doing so.

For this reason, and so so so many more, I am proud to partner with Ann Taylor for today’s blog post to share their Pants are Power campaign (on International Women’s Day no less), celebrating the brand’s commitment to over 60 years to make a woman feel powerful in her wardrobe.

In our day to day hustle, it’s easy to forget what the women before us had to fight for in order for us to have the privileges we experience as women today.

Now, you may be thinking “Victoria, not being allowed to wear pants is not really what I would consider a ‘struggle’ – there are so many more serious women’s rights issues.” And while, I hear you, I want to say that it’s not about the pants per say, it’s about what the pants stand for. It’s about pants being a symbol of equality for women.

Below you’ll find more images of today’s outfit, where I’m wearing pieces from Ann Taylor‘s spring collection – which stands behind the promise that every pant should fit where it counts – from waist to hip. I can testify to this promise, because having the hips I do makes it hard for me to find a pair of pants I feel comfortable in. I fell in love with these ones as soon as I tried them on – they’re the Ankle Pants in curvy petite (they also have them in regular, and regular petite – as opposed to curvy – to fit the different body shapes we have as women). I also have them in black!

Below you’ll also find Ann Taylor’s Pants are Power video that follows the journey from 1940, when women could still be arrested for wearing pants in public, to 2018 where women can wear them whenever, wherever.

So as we put on our pants, today and every day, let’s take a second and nod to strong women who, in the not-so-distant past, fought for their right to wear pants that make them feel confident and empowered. Who fought for so many other rights we women have today that we take for granted. And let us nod to the strong women who are currently rallying for our rights; as well as to the women of the future who will continue on with this fight.


Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Is Femininity Just What We Wear?

Rhonda '84

I love writing about the "Feminine Differential". For me, it is the subtle difference that makes one's look clearly feminine. When I first started presenting as female nearly 40 years ago, I assumed that it was all about appearances. The old statement: "if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and, talks like a duck - then it must be..." I desired  to make sure no one misidentified me as the opposite.  

Feminine: Pertaining to a woman or girl.

Last week on NPR I listened to the interview with the writer Sarah Smarsh as she discusses her new book 'She Come By It Natural: Dolly Parton and the Women Who Lived Her Songs'.  The subject came up about Dolly Parton's visual imagery and over-the-top gender performance. "By developing a multilayered image and persona, Dolly both critiques representations of femininity in country music and attracts a diverse fan base ranging from country and pop music fans to feminists and gay rights advocates."  Dolly Parton dresses to be the person she is on the inside - ultra feminine.  

Lee Edwards in the book "Dolly Parton, Gender, and Country Music" states this:"As Dolly depicts herself as simultaneously 'real' and 'fake', she offers new perspectives on country music's claims of authenticity." Dolly Parton shared how she'd be a drag queen, had she been born a boy—and we totally get it. Dolly's sense of self comes from within. 

So is femininity just what we wear?  Not at all. Am I less feminine because the pandemic has changed so much, including socializing?  I have beautiful dresses and heels in my closet that are collecting dust. I can get out some with several clubs, but many of my board meetings are on-line (Zoom).  Yes, I do put on makeup but only 'dress' from the neck up.  

Since I am less able to get out as Rhonda, am I less feminine?  Has Covid stolen "Femulation"?         

The blog "YouLookFab" has an interesting take on femininity. FYI - The writer is female and is a self-declared fashion stylist. Here is her interesting take on the root source for femininity:

...Well, I enjoy wearing stereotypically feminine wardrobe items like form fitting clothing, dresses, pencil skirts, low heels, bows, poufy sleeves, pink, sheer blouses, pearls, lace camisoles, flouncy tea length skirts and the occasional ruffle. I also like to carry a handbag, wear lipstick and define my waistline. Chanel and Valentino rock my fashion world. When I think about these aspects of my style, it’s clear that I dress in a feminine way.

Then I started thinking about the stereotypically non-feminine aspects of my style. I have very short hair and don’t wear earrings. I prefer flat footwear and sport short natural fingernails. Many of my favorite wardrobe items have a masculine or androgynous edge: jeans, button down shirts, blazers, flat oxfords, denim jackets, trench coats, oversize watches, biker jackets and flat boots. I adore classic gangster-like pinstripe suits, neck ties, cuff links, cravat style scarves and military styling. I like to surrender my waistline and wear unisex footwear like Converse sneakers and Dr. Marten boots. And on top of it all, I rather fancy looking strict and buttoned up.

Now here’s the interesting part. I still feel completely feminine when I wear boyish clothing and footwear, and that’s coming from someone who isn’t very curvy and doesn’t have a full bust. I attribute these feelings to two things. First, my manner is lady like and that ultimately makes me feel feminine no matter what I wear. For me, feminine dressing is more about an attitude and a state of mind, than it is about the specific items that I wear — I have a feminine attitude and act in a feminine way. So to a large extent for my style, feminine dressing comes from within.  

What is the source for your femininity?  Does it come from within?

Drag Queens Cover Dolly Parton's "Jolene"

Monday, November 23, 2020

Feminine Differential - Eye Wear

Now that we wear mask, eye wear (glasses) are more prominent than ever. The difference in men’s and women’s eyeglasses is also subtle, yet obvious, and in my case lead to many mis-gender moments.

Rhonda and Ben - Eyes-On-The-Island

When shopping for eye wear there are many variables and to find a pair of eyeglasses that suit you is sometimes a task. Professionals can help navigate what style/shape looks best for you.  

Here is a good write up on "MEN’S VS WOMEN’S EYEGLASSES"

This aspect of the subtle difference between women’s and men’s eyeglasses provides us with an edge and allows us to choose from a wider range of options. 

Be bold. Be firm when shopping; "I like this pair" if a style suits you.. 

I have always have very good success at my favorite eye wear studio, "Eyes-On-The -Island" in Palm Beach. The blue Tiffany pair above was purchase from Ben a few months ago and I like the shape and look.



Saturday, November 21, 2020

Friday, November 20, 2020

Transgender Day of Remembrance - 2020

A member of the transgender and LGBTQ
community holds candles during the
vigil of the Transgender


I have written a post for Transgender Day of Remembrance for the entire five years this blog has been in existence. This day, November 20th, is the annual observance that honors the memory of the transgender people whose lives were lost in acts of anti-transgender violence. 

I wish that I could report that this year no deaths occurred or the numbers had gone down.  According to Forbes Magazine, that is not the case: 

350 transgender people were killed this year (2020), in a figure that has risen since last year’s total of 331. The violence and horror of the murders, where transgender people were burned alive, suffocated and murdered, are cataloged by the Transrespect versus Transphobia Worldwide (TvT) which also has the full list of all those killed this year.

But because many hate crimes and murders go unreported or, crucially, misreported in the media – the true number of deaths could be far higher.

According to The Human Rights Campaign (HRC),  Transgender Day of Remembrance is an opportunity for communities to come together and remember transgender people, gender-variant individuals, and those perceived to be transgender who have been murdered because of hate. 

Please take a moment to reflect on ours sisters and brother that were murdered this year;  for no other reason other being transgender.  Here is the complete list. 

Thursday, November 19, 2020

Léa Kyle - Insane Quick Change Act on "Fool Us"

Léa Kyle

This technique would be great for the days when you can't decide what to wear. 

Ever had one of those days?

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Straying from Masculine Norms

Going to Work in 2007

How Men Get Penalized for Straying from Masculine Norms

MY NOTE:  An interesting article that I have found very on-point.  I have worked in an office as both male and female and exclusively as female from 2007 to 2016. The writer make an interesting point at the end as to the benefits that changes could bring.  

By: David M. Mayer

October 08, 2018 

When women behave in ways that don’t fit their gender stereotype — for example, by being assertive — they are viewed as less likable and ultimately less hire-able. Does that same hold true for men? Are they similarly penalized for straying from the strong masculine stereotype?

The short answer is yes. Research demonstrates that men too face backlash when they don’t adhere to masculine gender stereotypes — when they show vulnerability, act nicer, display empathy, express sadness, exhibit modesty, and proclaim to be feminists. This is troubling not least because it discourages men from behaving in ways known to benefit their teams and their own careers. Let’s look at each of these behaviors:

Showing vulnerability. Men are socialized to not ask for help or be vulnerable — and they can be penalized when they challenge this notion. An informative set of studies from 2015 finds that when male (but not female) leaders ask for help, they are viewed as less competent, capable, and confident. And when men make themselves vulnerable by disclosing a weakness at work, they are perceived to have lower status. This is problematic, as not seeking help when you need it or admitting areas for improvement inevitably leads to mistakes and less development.

Being nicer. Given that many of us want more nice guys at work, we might assume that men would be celebrated for being calm and unassuming. Wrong. Research has found that men who are more communal and agreeable (e.g., warm, caring, supportive, sympathetic) made significantly less money than more stereotypically masculine men. More agreeable men across multiple industries made an average of 18% less in income and were evaluated as less likely to have management potential as compared to less agreeable men.

Similarly, “nice guys” were evaluated as less competent and less hirable for managerial roles. One experimental study found that male managers in consulting who tended to advocate more for their team than for themselves were judged to be lower in agency and competence and more likely to be considered for job dismissal. Unfortunately, given the costs — real and psychological — of being a nice guy at work, men may be less likely to engage in these behaviors that could help their own career and make them better colleagues.

Displaying empathy. Empathy is an important part of leadership. However, women are more likely to receive “credit” for it than men. A recent study found that female leaders who displayed empathy (as reported by their employees) were less likely to be in danger of career derailment — e.g., problems with interpersonal relationships, difficulty building and leading teams, difficulty changing and adapting, failure in meeting business goals and objectives, and having too narrow a functional orientation. Men did not get this boost — there was no relationship between male leaders’ empathy and their bosses’ assessment of potential career derailment. These findings are consequential because displaying empathy is critical for leading effectively.

Expressing sadness. U.S. men are socialized to be stoic. What happens when they show emotions other than anger? Research demonstrates that men who show sadness at work are thought of as less deserving of that emotion as compared to sad women. A study from 2017 found that men who cry at work are perceived as more emotional and less competent than women who cry. And when men cry in response to performance feedback, the feedback provider rates them as a lower performer, less likely to get promoted, and less capable, as compared to women who cry. While we don’t want men or women regularly crying at work, an authentic work environment has to allow all employees to experience the same emotions without penalty.

Exhibiting modesty. What happens when men display modesty? Research demonstrates that men who were more humble in expressing their qualifications were evaluated as less likeable, less agentic, and weaker than modest women. Similarly, men in the hiring process who were more self-effacing were evaluated by potential employers as lower in competence and less desirable to hire, as compared to self-effacing women. With the increasing awareness of the detrimental effects of narcissism at work, we should encourage men’s modesty rather than penalize it.

Being a feminist or feminine. As noted previously, a sizeable percentage of American men self-identify as being a feminist. However, research shows that feminist men are more likely to be the victims of sexual harassment — from being told inappropriate jokes to being the recipient of unwanted sexual advances. In addition, research shows that men are more likely to be harassed when they work in male-dominated jobs and are perceived as too feminine. Research finds that men who ask for family leave, something that was historically in the purview of women, are viewed as poorer workers and are less recommended for rewards, compared to female counterparts. We should be welcoming feminist men, rather than derogating them for not being “man enough.”

Can we stop penalizing good behavior from men?

Organizations have a stake in ensuring that men aren’t penalized for these behaviors — which not only help men’s own and their team’s performance, but also create a culture that supports gender equality. So what can leaders do?

Celebrate men who engage in positive behaviors. It is important for men who display these “nice guy” qualities to be well received by organizational leadership. For example, when negotiating pay, organizations should not give in to a man who is dominant, but instead try to make sure men are paid based on merit. In addition, given the many benefits of humility, organizations should create a culture where men who are humble are praised. Organizational leaders can champion men in the organization by telling stories about how their vulnerability helped the organization perform better.

Train more broadly about gender stereotypes. Diversity training often evokes skepticism from employees—especially men. One way to address this issue is to focus on how gender stereotypes about women and men impact expectations for how they should behave. Given that white men are more likely to feel defensive when organizations provide diversity training, highlighting how men and women are both victims of gender stereotypes can help invoke compassion from all trainees.

Do not “gender police.” Gender policing means imposing normative gender expressions in terms of behavior or appearance. Research shows that trying to make men adhere to gender norms, for example, in terms of attire, is detrimental in terms of allowing men to fully express themselves at work. Workplaces that allow for authentic expression in terms of dress and demeanor will be more attractive to employees, especially millennials.

It is an important time to encourage a more modern form of masculinity. Organizations can and should celebrate traditional aspects of masculinity such as responsibility, assertiveness, and competitiveness, as well as compassion, humility, and kindness. This is not only the right thing to do but also will create the type of environment in which men, women, and organizations will thrive.

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

I Love A Success Story - B. Scott

B. Scott

 B. Scott (born Brandon Scott Sessoms), American TV personality, radio show host & internet celebrity. He is best known for his YouTube videoblogs and website Lovebscott Following his internet-based success, he has begun to appear in mainstream media. Jamie Foxx once declared, “I love B. Scott. He’s very attractive. He looks like a cross between Prince, Rosario Dawson & Lenny Kravitz.” This acclaim helped open him to a new level of recognition. He is a graduate of the UNC at Chapel Hill.

From the Blog: B. Scott is more than just an influencer. He is a brand. USA Today proclaimed him as The Queen of Tea. Fans, followers and the media industry count on B. Scott to serve up pop culture, entertainment news and gossip that is hot, cold, with honey, sugar, or spiked.

B. Scott is widely considered to be one of the pioneers of the blogging business dropping industry-shaking exclusives featured in publications such as Variety, US Weekly, People, and Essence. He and his work are often cited on mainstream media outlets including Wendy Williams, The Real, TMZ, and The Breakfast Club.

Already the most talked about blogger among other bloggers, Black millennials, and even television shows like Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, B. Scott’s lovebscott.com has become one of the most trusted websites in Black media reaching millions daily.

Monday, November 16, 2020

MB Club Weekend - Green Monster


Rhonda and  AMG GT R Coupe
This month my Mercedes Benz Club met at the Ft Pierce Mercedes Benz dealership.  They went all out to make us feel welcome. Tours were provided, swag bags and the details of the upcoming 2021 product line. There was a good turnout of about 20 members and social distance and mask were the precautions of the day.  

The highlight of my morning was seeing and touching a new SL AMG GT R Coupe in Green Hell Magno.  This is a special edition vehicle with many race/street legal features. This is a super car by all standards.  Mercedes web site describes it this way:

From the world’s most demanding racetrack directly onto the road: Never before has Mercedes‑AMG packed so much motorsport technology into a production vehicle than into the new AMG GT R. The front-mid-engine concept with transaxle, the twin-turbo V-8 engine rated at 430 kW/585 hp, the extensively modified suspension, the new aerodynamics and the intelligent lightweight construction lay the foundations for an especially dynamic driving experience. Even from afar, the exclusive “AMG green hell magno” special paintwork leaves no doubt as to the sports car’s origin, having spent most of its development time in the “Green Hell” of the Nurburgring racetrack. Wider front and rear wings allow an increased track width for optimum grip and even higher cornering speeds. The new front fascia with active elements, the large rear aerofoil and the new rear fascia with double diffuser enhance aerodynamic efficiency and help ensure optimum grip. The lightweight forged wheels shod with cup tyres as standard are likewise designed for maximum driving dynamics. The same applies to other new features such as the active rear-wheel steering, the nine-way adjustable traction control system and the adjustable coil-over suspension with additional electronic control. What is more, the new AMG Panamericana grille emphasizes the unique standing of the AMG GT R. Its characteristic form with vertical fins celebrated its world première on the Mercedes‑AMG GT3 customer-sport racing car and now for the first time features on an AMG production vehicle.

The third member of the AMG GT family is the new spearhead of the AMG model range. Featuring pioneering technologies, the AMG GT R was designed with racetrack use firmly in mind. Its development was largely based on vast motor-racing experience in AMG GT3 customer sport and the German Touring Car Masters. Figures such as 3.6 seconds from zero to 100 km/h and a top speed of 318 km/h, (197 mph) combined with the outstanding driving dynamics, will undoubtedly translate into extremely fast laps on the racetrack. The new exclusive colour “AMG green hell magno” alone establishes a visual link to the “Green Hell”, the nickname for the legendary “North Loop” of the Nurburgring, emphasizing that the car’s roots are firmly embedded in the racetrack


If you must ask, north of $175,000 US.  Check out the other key components and build/order  your own at MB USA. When you come to Florida to pick it up, I want a lap at the track.  It was fun day with a group of automotive enthusiast.


Saturday, November 14, 2020

Friday, November 13, 2020

We Get By With A Little Help From Our Friends


Let us give ourselves credit - The defeating of Donald Trump was a monumental  task.  Something we, as a community, could not have accomplished on our own. I do not want to imagine what another four years of a Trump administration could have done. Rights and freedoms we have come to expect and enjoy would have been further eroded until the 'closet' could have become our permanent residence. 

We were not the only group that felt the sting of bigotry and exclusion. Trump's immigration policies all but telegraphed "Make America White Again". Trump became a master of dividing America for political gain. As long as his dividing benefited him, he cared nothing about and the other half.

Yes, many worked to accomplish Trump's defeat - Those who had the most to lose from another four years. 

As John Oliver describe it: "Trump's defeat in the crucial state, Arizona, came from the voting block of indigenous tribes and Latinos. In Pennsylvania, Michigan and Georgia the black vote was absolutely key with black women working for years [to register and get their community to the polls]. ...Their vote was an act of self preservation for themselves and their community from someone trying to do them active harm." 

Today on "Friend's Friday" I recognize all the effort spent to help America right itself.  Thank you.  Let's all continue to do our part now to "Keep America Great". 

Let us never forget - "We Get By With A Little Help From Our Friends"!



Thursday, November 12, 2020

Tie Front Tops - A Great Look

Our new reality is casual.  This is a look I have worked to perfect for many years and at first was my least favorite look. My femininity was dependent on looking professional to the ultimate degree.  The female business suit and dress with heels was my uniform of choice.  The new normal is casual. My goal in mind is blending in at the grocery store or going for a walk along the beach.  

Many of the professional women I know are rethinking their wardrobe to be presentable for Zoom meetings.  As much as I love heels I have not even looked recently.  

Above is an example of a casual look that works. 

Needless to say, not a look you would find in the male closet. I got the Karen Kane, Tie Front Button Top on sale Macy's a few months back.  (When is there not a sale at  Macy's?) I have it paired with my NJDJ straight leg jeans.  This outfit would work with almost any shoes and I have it shown with the whole spectrum.  

The top on the model is available from Closet Candy - Why Knot Top - Denim Blue.  

Here is Deborah's, Fabulous After 40 take on this look:  

I’m seeing lots of tops that tie up and knot at the front, and they look pretty cute!

Knotting or tying up tops and shirts is a styling trick that’s been used by women for ages to help define the waist, turn a long top into a cropped one, and add some femininity to an outfit. Remember that famous photo of  Marilyn Monroe in a white shirt with the front hem tied fetchingly at her waist? The modern version of the tie-front top has a tie built right in.

Tie-front tops work like magic to create the illusion of a smaller waist and a more hourglass figure. Who doesn’t want that?


Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Feminine Differential - Incongruous

Not in harmony or keeping with the surroundings or other aspects of something.

What rules? If you want to dress fashionable and not usual, then surely use the mix-and-match technique to combine incongruous styles in one outfit.  

This wonderful feminine differential allow for the variety of a denim shirt paired with an almost formal dressy pencil skirt and heels shown here. 

I guess that being transgender is within itself an incongruous act. So why not make it all work.  We are seeing non-binary  transgender individual in beautiful clothing still having a beard.  Although this is not my style and never will be, style can be whatever make us comfortable and empresses our true self.  

Be who you are!


Blogger Monika Sveet 
sees it this way. She is a lovely Indian crossdresser, who has traveled throughout the world and ventured out as a woman in many countries Note: The information below is based on one of her answers on Quora. 

Incongruous…!!! Let me say it in two perspective:

Incongruous from the crowd… where everyone is wearing a uniform and you dress up in bright colored beach clothes…!!! Well that would be making an idiot of yourself.

Incongruous in terms of your ensemble…!!! Oh yes.. it can go both ways.. make you look stylish or simply dressed badly.

People who are risk avert or “play safe” kind, they follow the stereo-typical dress code which makes them invisible in the crowd. Then there are people who are exciting, risk takers and who love to be noticed… those people tend to breakaway from the usual dress code and show off their special style of dressing up.

Without taking it too far, if you are a guy who is surrounded by people wearing power suits… you would be expected to wear one as well and while you cannot turn up in surfing clothes, you can definitely add a touch of style with the neck tie or through some accessories to be noticed.

For women, there is a plethora of options… dress up in suits, skirts or simply a beautiful dress… adding just a few inches to your shoes would make you more noticed. Wear those nice colors on your nails and lips and you will be getting all the attention you seeking.

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Still Friends...


Many of us may be elated on the outcome of the presidential election.  We need to remember that not everyone feels the same.  I was shocked when I learned that a less vocal friend had voted Trump. She saw the good he had done, although never being outspoken in her support for Trump. As I went on about my jubilation for the Biden victory,  I could feel I had entered a danger zone. Was this person now to become less of a friend?  I did not want to this to happen. We agreed that we see politics diffidently and decided that we are both entitled to our opinion.  

I once had described to me a wonderful way to deal with a friend's revelation and how to move past a uncomfortable unavailing.  

Lets say a friend reveals to you they eat worms for breakfast.  (Stay with me.) It is just an intrinsic part on who they are. They offer no justification and feel no guilt as to their peculiar taste.  

They are the same person today as yesterday, other than I now know about their unusual breakfast dish. So my desire to keep the friendship overrides the revelation. Nothing has changed other than I don't think we will be having breakfast together any time soon.  Acceptance rules.



Monday, November 9, 2020

I Love A Success Story - Sarah McBride

Delaware Democrat Sarah McBride to become nation's first-ever transgender state senator  

By Veronica Stracqualursi, CNN

   Wed November 4, 2020

Democratic activist Sarah McBride will become the nation's first person who publicly identifies as transgender to serve as a state senator, after winning Tuesday's election in Delaware, CNN projects.

McBride, a former spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign, overwhelmingly beat Republican candidate Steve Washington in Delaware's 1st District, a heavily Democratic district that includes the city of Wilmington. She won about 73% of the vote, according to unofficial results from the Delaware Department of Elections.

Her win Tuesday also makes her Delaware's first out LGBTQ person elected to the state's legislature.

"I hope tonight shows an LGBTQ kid that our democracy is big enough for them, too," McBride tweeted Tuesday night. "As Delaware continues to face the Covid crisis, it's time to get to work to invest in the policies that will make a difference for working families."

"I wish McBride well and hope she does a great job in office. We need to come together as a country," Washington, a special education teacher, told CNN on Wednesday.

McBride was the first transgender person to speak at a major party convention when she addressed the Democratic National Convention in 2016. She was also the first out transgender White House staffer when she interned in the Obama White House.

In 2013, she advocated for the passage of Delaware's gender identity non-discrimination act, which was signed into law that year.

McBride ran on expanding access to health care and paid leave, increasing Delaware's minimum wage, and reforming the criminal justice system.

Alphonso David, the president of the Human Rights Campaign, said McBride "made history not just for herself but for our entire community."

"She gives a voice to the marginalized as a representative and an advocate," David said in a statement. "This victory, the first of what I expect to be many in her career, shows that any person can achieve their dream, no matter their gender identity or sexual orientation.

The head of a political action committee that aims to elect LGBTQ people to public office touted McBride's victory and said it will "inspire more trans people to follow in her footsteps and run for public office."

"Sarah's overwhelming victory is a powerful testament to the growing influence of transgender leaders in our politics and gives hope to countless trans people looking toward a brighter future," Annise Parker, the former mayor of Houston and current President of the LGBTQ Victory Fund, said in a statement Tuesday.

Watch the video at CNN. 


Personal Note:  I met Sarah at SCC a few years back.  She is going to be a force to watch.  She will go far - Go Sarah! 

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Rhonda's Political Week In Review 11/8/2020

He that troubles his own house shall inherit the wind...
Proverbs chapter 11, verse 9

Friday evening in a brief statement issued after Pennsylvania delivered the crucial electoral votes for victory, [President Elect] Biden said:

With the campaign over, it’s time to put the anger and the harsh rhetoric behind us and come together as a nation. It’s time for America to unite. And to heal. We are the United States of America. And there’s nothing we can’t do, if we do it together.

I desire to put politics behind me. I am hoping for a day when I don't care what the president has tweeted overnight.  I want to live my life as a transgender person knowing that there is not an agenda that wants to limits my rights.  I desire that America be respected around the world again. I hope for my  kids that there be clean water, breathable air and not catatonic weather patterns.  

Let us all do out part to bring our house back together. 



Saturday, November 7, 2020

Friday, November 6, 2020

Beach Walk Fashion


One thing I am enjoying about living at the beach is being able to walk out my door, cross the street and walk the beach. Moving along the surf line, a little less than a mile form my door, is the Juno Beach Pier.  I am making an effort to make this a daily activity/walk. What a wonderful relaxing time. Seldom is the beach crowded and time spent away from all electronics, news and noise is wonderful. Just the sound of the Atlantic waves. 

Am I crazy talking about beach walks in November?  I am hoping I will be able to continue this year round.  The Atlantic Gulf Stream breeze moderates the hot and cool days; so-far, so-good.

Above is my go-to fashion choice for my walks.  Levi high rise shorts, Venus "Love" graphic tee, and REEF Cushion Breeze Sandals from Amazon. Once I cross the beach road, I just carry the flip-flops while walking bare-foot at the surf line.  

Just last week the wind was up and the kite surfers were out in mass enjoying a good ocean breeze. This was a day I cut my walk short, sat and watched for about an hour. I have been told that the Jupiter Beach area is a favorite spot for wind / kite surfing.  

Kite Surfing