Saturday, September 25, 2021

Friday, September 24, 2021

Missing White Woman Syndrome

I am not underplaying the horrific nature of Gabby Petito disappearance and now reported potential murder.  As of last weekend, roughly 50 law enforcement officers from five local agencies and the FBI were searching for Laundrie, Gabby's boyfriend, who has not been seen since September 14. Last week, if the story was not the lead on national news it was second. When the body was found, regularly scheduled TV was preemptive as the police gave a news statement.  

According to CNN: The bias the media shows in favor of covering the stories of White women who go missing is often referred to as "missing White woman" syndrome. Factors like race seem to determine not only a victim's "newsworthiness," but how their disappearances are covered. 

Bee Love Slater Murderer 2019
Burned beyond 
I have daughters and if anything happened to any one of them, I would hope that the full efforts of law enforcement would come to their aid; any father's daughter.  Sadly that is not always the case. 

According to Reuters: In Wyoming, the state where Petito's body was found, only 18% of indigenous female homicide victims get newspaper coverage, compared with 51% for white female and male victims, according to a state report.

Between 2011 and September 2020, more than 400 indigenous women and girls were reported missing in Wyoming, according to the report.  This is not far from where Gabby Petito went missing.  

Here is a crime that occurred about 30 miles from my home that receive minimal local coverage and no national coverage: 

CLEWISTON — Thirty miles from home in a neighborhood near Clewiston, Bee Love Slater’s body was found last week in her burning car. It’s unclear why the 23-year-old transgender woman from Pahokee (FL) was in the Harlem neighborhood south of the Clewiston Golf Course early Sept. 4. All Hendry County sheriff’s authorities have said is that she was “burned beyond recognition” in what they are investigating as a homicide.

According to the Advocate: Violence against trans Americans continues to be rampant, especially against Black women. Four homicides of Black trans women have been reported in the past few days — in Arkansas, Florida, Louisiana, and Texas, while the death of a second woman in Louisiana has not yet been ruled a homicide. There are also reports, so far unconfirmed, of a Black trans woman being killed in Philadelphia. And a Black trans woman was shot in Los Angeles last week and was reported to be in critical condition. There have been at least 20 homicides of trans people in the U.S. in 2020, with most of the victims being Black or Latinx women.

Why should we care?  First, any transgender woman injured/killed is one of us.  It could have been one of us.  Second, by the press and media ignoring a crime perpetrated against someone black, Hispanic or transgender, it devalues our/all lives. 

Where is the outrage? Where are the headlines? Where is the preemptive  disruption of regularly scheduled programming for these women?    

Thursday, September 23, 2021

I Love A Success Story - Kim Petras

On Being a Transgender Musician: 'I Hate the Idea of Using My Identity as a Tool'

Singer Kim Petras partnered with MTV, LogoTV,
 and Trans Lifeline to raise awareness
for a new program for transgender youth

By Stephen Daw 2018

Pop singer-songwriter Kim Petras is the up-and-coming star of the moment. The 25-year-old “Heart to Break” singer has raked in millions of Spotify plays on her songs, along with garnering the undivided attention of a predominantly LGBTQ fan base.

Part of the reason she has gained so much attention from the community is due to her transgender identity. Petras underwent gender confirmation surgery at the age of 16, making her one of the youngest people to undergo the process.

But in a recent interview, Petras said that she doesn’t want people to flock to her due to her identity — she wants them to flock to her for her music. “I just hate the idea of using my identity as a tool,” she told HuffPost. “It made me the person I am and that’s a big part of me, but I think music is about your feelings and your fantasies and it goes deeper than your gender or your sexuality.”

The singer added that she is proud of her identity and wants to bring more visibility to the transgender community, but she has something else that she wants to prove as well. “I think the ultimate goal for me is if a transgender person can be known for anything but being transgender,” she said. “There are still too many people who think being transgender is very freaky. And they think you can’t live a happy life and try to tell their kids not to transition because they’re afraid their life will be harder.”

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Feminine Deferential - Espadrille Wedges


J.Crew - Seville espadrille wedges in metallic gold

Wedges are one of the most versatile shoes you can have in your wardrobe, making it an essential fashion staple.

Every now and then you find a shoes that is stylish, comfortable, functional and provides, the ever so important, feminine differential. Most any shoe with a heel (cowboy boots the exception) will provide the feminine deferential but so many times our feet suffer for the style.   

I am a recent convert to wedge shoes having been marooned to avoid the lawn at several outside events. Nothing like that sinking feeling as your stiletto heel vanished into the turf. There are few graceful ways to recover. A good wedge serves the purpose of preventing that and provides much need stability for outside walking on mixed ground; gravel driveways a prime example. 

By definition espadrille are:

Espadrilles are a typical form of Spanish summer footwear. Espadrilles (Spanish: alpargatas; Catalan: espardenyes; Basque: espartinak), are casual, rope-soled, flat, but sometimes high-heeled shoes. They usually have a canvas or cotton fabric upper and a flexible sole made of esparto rope. The esparto rope sole is the defining characteristic of an espadrille; the uppers vary widely in style. The word derives from the Catalan "espardenya", making reference to esparto grass, a plant indigenous to the south of Spain that is used to make ropes and basketry. (Wikipedia) 

The above shoe I got from J.Crew at a terrific price.  Originally $128.00 they were on sale last week for $32.00. I sized down one-half size based on my experience with other J.Crew shoes.  A perfect fit and a shoe I could literally wear for hours at events where standing or dancing would be required. The (3 1/2" - 90mm) wedge heel is just dressy enough to be at home with jeans, shorts or a long flowing summer / fall dress. Stay tuned on the dress.      

Best of all, you won’t feel guilty about having more than one pair of Espadrilles in your shoe closet, since you’ll be able to make full use of them day in and day out; casual to dressy.    

If you are looking for the perfect summer or fall shoes don't rule out the "espadrille wedge". 

Tuesday, September 21, 2021

A Stop at Willoughby

James Daly in "A Stop at Willoughby"

I enjoy being feminine; a trans-feminine person.  There, I have said it.  Maybe a long time verbalizing. However, every time after a fantastic or mundane escape, the peacefulness is there.

What is there to not like? The beautiful clothes, feminine enclaves like salons/boutiques and most relevant - being treated as a fellow sister. I love the way women interact and I feel apart of a society of sisters as we talk / connect.
I am recognized / accepted as being female. I have a social network that is accepting, and I am comfortable in this role. Maybe my version of transition.      

I have compared my expeditions (escapes) into the land of femininity to beautiful flights of freedom. I have been visiting there for well over 40 years. I am still in awe of the costumes, customs, serenity and wonderful environment that the land of femininity provides.  Recently my stays have been more extended.  Even when I reluctantly returned to my natural (born) habitat, I take with me apparel and mannerisms that are foreign to my home territory.  

I am starting to feel less at home when back and long for the return escape. I look in a mirror and see remains of eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick. I blink and the traces are still there. Should I cleanse more or allow these elements to betray my dual citizenship? 

For years I have been torn between two very different worlds. However, now I amaze myself with how effortlessly I maneuver myself while on escape. A happy destination. 

I remember well a Twilight Zone episode from season one; “A Stop at Willoughby”.  A troubled man falls asleep on the train commute home and is drawn into a beautiful dream/place.  

Outside the train window Mr. Williams (I am not making that up) sees a town called Willoughby. He eventually learns that it is July 1888. He learns that this is a "peaceful, restful place, where a man can slow down to a walk and live his life full measure". 

The next week, Williams again dozes off on the train and returns to the Willoughby stop where everything is the same as before. As he is about to get off the train carrying his briefcase, the train begins to roll jolting him back to the present. Williams promises himself to get off at Willoughby next time.  

Once again he falls asleep to find himself in Willoughby. This time, as the conductor warmly beckons him to the door, Williams intentionally leaves his briefcase on the train. Getting off the train, he is greeted by name by various inhabitants who welcome him while he tells them he's glad to be there and plans to stay and join their idyllic life.

In Rod Serling's famous storytelling style, there is a tragic twist. However, the escape to “Willoughby” has remained in my memory for many years. Serling, who wrote this short story, cited this as his favorite story from the first season of the series.

Mr. Serling's closing narration: 

Willoughby? Maybe it's wishful thinking nestled in a hidden part of a man's mind, or maybe it's the last stop in the vast design of things—or perhaps, for a man like Mr. Gart Williams, who climbed on a world that went by too fast, it's a place around the bend where he could jump off. Willoughby? Whatever it is, it comes with sunlight and serenity and is a part of The Twilight Zone.

Am I nearing my Willoughby destination on my trips into the land of femininity?  Shall I get off my duality train and stay - maybe

Monday, September 20, 2021

Welcome Fall - Harvest Moon

 According to the Old Farmers Almanac:

In 2021, the Harvest Moon rises on Monday, September 20! The Moon will appear full for about three days around this time, from Sunday morning through Tuesday morning. Why does this phenomenon happen? Learn more—and shine on, Harvest Moon!

This year, the brilliant Harvest Moon will appear in the evening of Monday, September 20, reaching peak illumination at 7:54 P.M. EDT.

One thing that sets the Harvest Moon apart from other full Moon names is that it’s not associated with a specific month, as the others are. Instead, the Harvest Moon relates to the timing of the autumnal equinox (September 22, 2021), with the full Moon that occurs nearest to the equinox being the one to take on the name “Harvest Moon.” This means that the Harvest Moon can occur in either September or October, depending on how the lunar cycle lines up with the Gregorian calendar.

The Harvest Moon does typically occur in September, taking the place of the full Corn Moon. However, it occasionally lands in October instead, replacing the full Hunter’s Moon.


There are many traditions from around the world associates with the Harvest Moon.  If interested the Almanac list many.  Tonight I plan on starting my own. I am going to buy a Moon Pie at Cracker Barrel, go to the beach and watch the moon rise.  Sounds like a plan!

Rosemary Clooney - Shine On Harvest Moon (Rosie Solves The Swingin' Riddle!)

Meetup - Juno Beach Fish House

My Saturday Evening Meetup Escape 
The restaurant was about 2 minutes from the 
Beach House.  Great food and conversation. 


Sunday, September 19, 2021

Rhonda's Political Week In Review 9-19-2021


Someone much wiser than I wrote this - Well worth passing on:

I'm vaccinated and, no, I don't know what's in it - neither this vaccine, the ones I had as a child, nor in the Big Mac, or in hot dogs, or in other treatments…whether it's for cancer, AIDS, the one for polyarthritis, or vaccines for infants or children. I trust my doctor when he says it’s needed. 

I also don't know what's in Ibuprofen, Tylenol, or other meds, it just cures my headaches & my pains ...

I don't know what's in the ink for tattoos, vaping, or every ingredient in my soap or shampoo or even deodorants. I don’t know the long term effect of cell phone use or whether or not that restaurant I just ate at REALLY used clean foods and washed their hands. 

In short ...

There's a lot of things I don't know and never will… 

I just know one thing: life is short, very short, and I still want to do something other than just going to work every day or staying locked in my home. I still want to travel and hug people without fear and find a little feeling of life "before".

As a child and as an adult I've been vaccinated for mumps, measles, rubella, polio, chicken pox, and quite a few others; my parents and I trusted the science and never had to suffer through or transmit any of said diseases ... just saying.

You are not vaccinated, I respect your choice,

I am vaccinated, respect my choice ...

I'm vaccinated, not to please the government but:

  •  To not die from Covid-19.
  •  To NOT clutter a hospital bed if I get sick.
  •  To hug my loved ones 
  •  To Not have to do PCR or antigenic tests to go out dancing, go to a restaurant, go on holidays and many more things to come ..
  •  To live my life.
  •  To have my kids/grandkids go back to school and play sports. 
  •  For Covid-19 to be an old memory.
  •  To protect us.

Text copied, you can too.

Saturday, September 18, 2021

Friday, September 17, 2021

This Commercial Will Leave You Speechless...

When You Realize What’s Going On

 A jewelry advertisement has become the talk of the internet – and India – for its groundbreaking theme. The spot features a transgender actress.

The firm specializes in traditional wedding jewelry and the ad includes the tagline “Pure as love.”

While transgender actors and themes in commercials have gained wider acceptance in other countries, Bhima Jewelry’s customer base is in rural India. They say any feared backlash, however, was quickly thrown out the window after the ad went viral and the kudos started to roll in.

The campaign was originally met with “fears and apprehensions” by her colleagues, Navya Rao, the head of the chain’s online marketing, told the BBC.

“All our previous ads had happy heterosexual brides. So we were worried about how people would perceive it and react to it,” she said. “Most of our stores are in rural parts of the state. We were not sure how much exposure people there would have had to these issues.”

Meera said she “was expecting a lot of conflict, especially since the ad shows a Hindu wedding which directly challenges the Hindu hetero-patriarchal system.”

The response, she says, wasn’t what they feared.

“There was some criticism of the ad and we were accused of lending a voice to a cause that’s unnatural and not supposed to exist in society. But our inboxes have been filled with positive messages. Many from the LGBTQI community reached out to us saying the ad had touched their heart,” she said.

22-year-old actress Meera Singhania Rehani, a transgender woman, played the lead role in the spot and admitted she was “very skeptical” when she was first approached.

“I didn’t want someone to appropriate my trans identity for commercial use. I was also nervous since the film involved transition and as a pre-transition person I’m shown as a man with a beard.

“But when I read the story and researched about the director, I said yes. And I’m glad I did. Doing this has also helped me become more comfortable with myself,” she said.

MY Note: Thanks Caitlin for sending the link for this beautiful advertisement.

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Androgynous - Sung by Miley Cyrus, Joan Jett & Laura Jane Grace

 Laura Jane Grace Navigates “Living a Double Life” in New Audio Memoir

It’s hard to imagine punk rocker Laura Jane Grace as anything other than a transgender icon, but there was a time when she didn’t even know what to call herself.

When Grace rose to fame in the 2000s as the lead singer and founder of Against Me!, she was closeted and navigating gender dysphoria privately, although it had begun to seep into her songwriting. She came out publicly in 2012 and later incorporated her experiences into albums like 2014’s Transgender Dysphoria Blues and 2016’s Shape Shift With Me, as well as Tranny: Confessions Of Punk Rock’s Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout, her debut memoir. Almost a decade later, Grace has joined forces with Audible’s Words + Music initiative to reflect on her journey in Black Me Out, her new audio memoir, out today (September 2).

Narrated by Grace herself, Black Me Out blends conventional memoir with stripped-down recordings of the Against Me! songs that soundtracked her transition, including “I Was A Teenage Anarchist,” “Walking Is Still Honest,” and “The Ocean.” (Savvy Against Me! fans will note that the Audible project is named after the closing track from Transgender Dysphoria Blues.)

In an exclusive new clip from Black Me Out, Grace recalls experimenting with “cross-dressing” prior to 2012. This was well after Against Me!’s debut, so Grace feared how being her authentic self would impact the career she’d worked so hard to build. Not to mention, she barely understood what wanting to present as feminine meant.

I thought, ’I’m a cross-dresser,’ or, ’I’m a tranny,’ or — I didn’t fucking know,” she remembers. “’Am I gay?’ I don’t fucking know. But I knew there was something different, something in my head, and I knew that I wasn’t being fucking honest with myself.”

Grace’s rock-’n’-roll lifestyle helped distract her but only for so long. When she could no longer stave off the impulse, Grace allowed herself to toy with her gender presentation in secret after hours at her band’s private rehearsal space in Gainesville, Florida.

The whole experience was tinged with “a little bit of danger,” she recalls: At any given point, one of her band members could have walked in and seen her “in full femme,” outing her before she even had the chance to claim an identity of her own. She’d sometimes go for long drives alone as a way to test her bravery. It was like “living a double life,” but in those moments of solitude, Grace began to find herself.

Laura Jane Grace (born Thomas James Gabel; November 8, 1980) is an American musician best known as the founder, lead singer, songwriter, and guitarist of the punk rock band Against Me!. In addition to Against Me!, Grace fronts the band Laura Jane Grace & The Devouring Mothers, a solo project she started in 2016. Grace is notable for being one of the first highly visible punk rock musicians to come out as transgender, after she publicly came out in May 2012 (Wikipedia) 

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

I Love A Success Story - AJ Clementine

Gender reassignment surgery saved my life': Inside the lives of Australian trans people

For trans woman AJ Clementine, surgeon Andrew Ives is literally a life saver.

The 22-year-old underwent gender reassignment surgery just four months ago after spending 18 months on a wait list.

She insists she wouldn’t have seen her next birthday without it.

Mr Ives is one of only a few reconstructive doctors in Australia who can perform male to female gender reassignment surgery.

“Surgery has saved my life. If I didn’t have this option, I don’t think I would want to continue,” Ms Clementine told 9news.com.au.

Ms Clementine was 18 when she began taking hormone blockers to stop the testosterone from making changes to her body.

“As soon as my GP said I had gender dysphoria when I was 18, it made so much more sense," she said. “I wanted to live like everyone else. I didn’t want to be trans and live like this. I still have stereotypical male features and I’m fine with that.

“Sometimes I forget that I’m trans. I hate the way it sets me back but it only does because of how the world has not completely accepted it yet. I hate that I’m linked to bad stigmas.

Now I feel complete and I'm so lucky to be surrounded by love and acceptance. AJ Clementine


Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Mature Women Shouldn't Be Sexy - Not

Cruise Dress 2019 

Sexiness doesn't have an expiration date. Women and trans-feminine of all ages have a right to enjoy playing with their sexuality / presentation and channeling it through whatever clothes they feel best; whether it be a long, slinky dresses, flirty sequined minis, or high-heels.

 As long as you are happy with your look, that's all that matters. Do not dress doughty to blend in when you can stand out. Be proud - ESCAPE!  

Send me your best sexy photos and tells us where you were when you took it.  Let us all be visible, bold and out.  

Monday, September 13, 2021

Transfeminine - A Person Who Strongly Identifies With Femininity.

 What Does  It Mean to Be Transfeminine?

Sian Ferguson
Written by Sian Ferguson on January 14, 2021

So, what’re the basics?

Transfeminine people are people who were assigned male at birth (AMAB) but identify more with a feminine identity.

Being assigned male at birth means that, when you were born, someone declared you a male based on your genitals. It’s a more respectful alternative to saying that you were “born a man” or “biologically male.”

Transfeminine is often used to refer to:

  • transgender women
  • AMAB nonbinary people who identify with femininity
  • AMAB demigirls (which is someone who partially identifies as a girl, woman, or feminine)
  • AMAB gender-fluid people who identify with femininity, whether it’s all, most, or some of the time
  • other AMAB people who identify with femininity
  • In other words, transfeminine is a broad term that includes a few different groups of people.

Why might someone opt to use this term over others?

“Transfeminine” is a broad term that applies to any AMAB person who identifies with femininity.

The term is helpful because it’s an umbrella term that describes a few different groups of people, including transgender women, feminine nonbinary people, and more.

It can be a helpful term for someone who’s exploring their identity and isn’t sure whether they’re a transgender woman or a nonbinary person who strongly identifies with femininity.

It can also be useful for those who simply identify as feminine but not specifically as a woman.

How do you know if it’s the term for you?

There’s no test to figure out whether you’re transfeminine. The only prerequisite is that you identify as transfeminine. But, of course, it can be difficult to figure out your identity at first.

If you’d like to explore and consider whether or not the term fits you, consider doing the following:

  • Talk to transfeminine people on online forums or groups, or in person, to hear what being transfeminine means to them.
  • Read about the experiences of transfeminine people and ask yourself whether you relate. Bear in mind that everyone’s experience is different.
  • Consider which aspects of your gender expression or identity you consider to be transfeminine.
  • Try the term out by referring to yourself as transfeminine, either out loud or in written words. You don’t need to share this with anyone if you don’t want to. Just try it and see how it feels.
  • Journal about your gender. Sometimes, writing it out helps you understand it better.

This helpful article might help you figure out whether you’re transfeminine. But remember, there’s no “right” way to be transfeminine. If you identify as transfeminine, you are transfeminine.


My Note: I like the way this description feels.  According to Wikipedia:

The label 'trans-feminine' can be considered either a gender identity, a gender expression, or both. 

Something about dressing feminine and being referred to as a feminine person sits right with me. I like being called “she”, "lady", "ma'am", "her".  I like dressing with a feminine differential, or dressing in a dress, putting on make-up, or just being my self in jeans and sandals.    

Saturday, September 11, 2021

Friday, September 10, 2021

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Getting Older - Doing It Right

Erika Andersen

In the Forbes article "Getting Older? Here Are 7 Ways To Do It Right", written by Erika Andersen, she gave some wonderful advice.  I have her opening statement below and will leave it up to you to read her 7 suggestions. They are a good starting place. Here is my number 8.  

Number 8

Do what you have always wanted to do. Take a cruise as you true self. Go on a road trip seeing place you have never seen and interaction with civilians dressed in your best outfits. You will be amazed how understanding and open absolute strangers can be. Eat at an elegant restaurantGo shopping. At the same time get a make over and mani-pedi. Have lunch at a side-walk cafe. 

 As  Erika put it:

One of the most powerful ways to craft your later years is to insist on your right to be as joyful, silly, happy, goofy, full of wonder, as enthusiastic and excited as you want to be until the day you die. [Be yourself!]

Escape the person that is dull, boring and complacent. Be remembered for being quirky and happy; a little crazy. Accept your body - Not everyone is a size two or petite. At this age what do you really care what others think. Who do you have to please, other than yourself? Escape - Live!   


Erika Andersen

 In 1900, the average 30 year old in the U.S. could expect to live another 35 years...in other words, to die by age 65.  Today, the average 30-year-old can expect another 50 years of life; to live until age 80. And by the time those 30 year old's actually are 80, who knows what their life expectancy will be?

Our ideas about aging, and what it means to be over 50 - or 60, or 90 - seem to be stuck somewhere back in the middle of the 20th century. We still consider 65 (or 55, in some sectors) as standard retirement age, and we expect everyone to start slowing down and moving aside for the next generation as their age ticks past the half-century mark.

Ever since I turned 60 a few years ago, I've been realizing that these standard societal notions of what it means to be old - especially for women - just aren't applying to me.  And most important, that I can craft my later years to be what I want them to be, rather than what anybody else tells me they must be.

I just read a wonderful article by Bonnie Hammer, a friend and client, at Fortune.com; an honest, feisty, bold rumination on being a 65-year-old woman in the media industry.  It felt like a lighthearted manifesto (if there can be such a thing), a quick poke in our collective assumptions about aging. It really resonated for me, and made me think about how we can live the life we want, rather than the one that’s prescribed for us.

So let's get practical.  If you find yourself on the AARP side of 50, and you don't want to follow the path laid down for you by society’s expectations, here are seven things you can do to age like a fine wine or a great violin, vs. a can of diet coke or a cheap car:

Read Eiric's 7 Ways To Do It Right 

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

The Danger the Texas Law Posed to the Constitution

The Private-suit Enforcement Mechanism

Where will this end?  According to Reuters "Texas's strict new abortion ban hands over the power of enforcement to private citizens - and offers them cash payments to do so - a unique construction that makes the law harder to block in court."

The law sets up what critics have called a "vigilante" system in which any Texas resident can sue an abortion provider or anyone who aids and abets someone seeking to obtain an abortion.  

Read: "Historian suggests Fugitive Slave Act (1850) closest historical analogy to Texas abortion law." It is interesting that the United States Supreme Court upheld the law's constitutionality in 1859.  What a stain on US law.  

Women's reproductive rights are the first target. However, this is not likely to be the only use for that vigilante law format*.  Consider the minority, conservative agenda:  

Could a school, business, or government be sued by individuals for designating non-gender (transgender) bathrooms?  Could an individual be sued by vigilante enforcers for using a bathroom that is appropriate to their presentation?

Could a business be sued by individuals for mandating mask be worn, or requiring proof of vaccination?  

Could a medical provider be sued for providing counseling to a transgender teen that would be counter to the state's thought police? Could clinics that provide gender confirmation surgery (GRS) or facial feminization surgery (FFS), be sued by individuals?

Could a BLOG writer be sued for advocating transgender rights and freedom of gender expression?   

According to Julia Kaye at the the ACLU: “You could imagine a state banning certain statements in online forums and authorizing anyone who sees the post to sue the person who posted it. The sky is the limit in terms of attacks on constitutional rights.”

Do not forget that Donald Trump's now politically stacked Supreme Court is likely to uphold the conservative agenda as we just saw last week.   

I propose a day where all bloggers express their outrage and call attention to outrageous nature of this vigilante enforcement mechanism. The Republican state legislatures must be sent a clear message. No matter where you stand on woman's reproductive rights, this clear and eminent danger to the constitution and legal precedent is real. 

This is our "First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out…”  moment.(MARTIN NIEMÖLLER)  

I hope today's post generates many comments - Please!

*NY Times - We Are Becoming a Nation of Vigilantes - Since the beginning of the year (2021) Tennessee has authorized students and teachers to sue schools that allow transgender students to use the restrooms that match their gender identity.

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Magic Has No Gender

Billy Porter explains why he's playing a genderless Fairy Godmother in 'Cinderella' remake: 'Magic has no gender'

 Ayomikun Adekaiyero  from the "INSDER"

When Amazon Prime Video's remake of the classic "Cinderella" story — centered on a girl who falls in love and marries a prince — was first envisioned, the Fairy Godmother character wasn't genderless.

It wasn't until Billy Porter nabbed the part that the iconic role changed due to conversations with writer-director, Kay Cannon. 

The Emmy Award-winning actor joins the likes of Camila Cabello, Idina Menzel, and James Corden in a modern musical retelling of the "Cinderella" fairytale. In this version, Porter plays a genderless version of the Fairy Godmother called Fabulous Godmother or Fab G for short.

"It evolved and the thing that came out of the evolution was 'magic has no gender,' so make it genderless, gender-free, gender-fluid whatever you want to say. There is no gender," Porter, who made history as the first openly gay Black man to win a lead actor drama Emmy, explained.

Cannon told Insider that Fab G was the only character that she wrote for this remake with an actor in mind. 

"The actors all came later except for Billy Porter's part. I typically write with people in mind all the time, that's kind of my thing," she admitted. 

Read more here: 


My Note: The story is different and the new adaptation of the Disney's famous cartoon and age old fairy tail is wonderful. There is diversity, music, romance, and at the end a modern twist. With its release, I am sure that Walt Disney did a "turnover" in his cri-chamber.  For me, It was so much fun to watch. Especially the over-the-top Porter. 

I must share my absolute favorite quote. After the Fairy-god (something) has turned a dress sketch that Cinderella herself designed in the ball gown, it is time for Cinderella to be presented with the glass slipper; a 4" beaded pump. Immediately she has difficulty walking in them. She asked her magical benefactor, "Isn't there a way to make them more comfortable?"  The answer:

Even magic has its limits.

To all of us that have endured an evening in high heels (at the ball), we can relate to Cinderella's fate. She does handle it well and there is a storybook ending; although not the one you expected.     

Don't miss it...  

Monday, September 6, 2021

The Feminine Differential - The Just Right T-Shirt


My fav casual look is jeans and a t-shirt. However if you are not careful you end up looking like James Dean in the 1955 movie Rebel Without a Cause.  (JAMES DEAN MADE THE WHITE T-SHIRT COOL)  Not exactly the feminine differential you were hoping for.  

Macy's LA Pop Art
There is always the graphic t-shirt with a heart and feminine saying.  Scoop neck works and is a feminine differential, but sometimes the scoop neck is a little over the top. (pun intended).  And v-neck, formally feminine territory, has now become uni-sex.

Here is a great Goldielocks look - Just right: 

On Amazon the above two:  "Neineiwu Women's Loose Casual Short Sleeve Chiffon Top T-Shirt Blouse". They come in two dozen variations of colors and patterns and will not break the bank at $24.99. As always with Prime - free shipping and easy returns.  

The material is semi-transparent chiffon, which is a feminine differential being thin and flowy. There are two layers, that will keep your bra from showing and a soft elastic hem at the bottom that allows you to blouse it around the waist. it is very forgiving as to size and flattering to the middle body. The short sleeves are a loose bat-wing design which allows the sleeves to drape down the arm. 

I purchased the "Leopard Print" to go with a camel skirt and tan pants I have. The white blouse I purchased for my daily jeans look, but sure I will find other combinations ore dressy. 

Always look for the feminine differential. It adds to your escape confidence as you transition for a overall male look to a feminine appearance. No surgery required.  


Sunday, September 5, 2021

Rhonda's Political Week In Review 9-5-2021


Thanks Velma for adding to this week's list.

Saturday, September 4, 2021

Weekend At The Beach

 Enjoy Your long weekend - Escape!

Friday, September 3, 2021

Tropical Adventures

Cool and comfortable...

When I started this blog over 6 years ago, I discussed how casual was not my friend.  Having worked as an executive assistant for about 10 years and emulating the incontrovertible female professional, I did not feel at home in a casual outfit.  Yes, I had a few short skirts and Tees, but they just did not feel like "me".  

A revolution happened out of the need to blend in a world that was going casual. Also helping was living in an area where looking cool was not a fashion statement but a necessity. I traded pumps for sandals. Hose were a no-no and tight/binding shareware just did not work. 

I was at an after-work cocktail reception during my casual transition, and one of the women had on a skirt/suit, hose and close-toe pumps. My girlfriend made the disapproving comment, "Bank Manager".  Sorry to say, even there in her proper business uniform, she looked out of place.

So the summer heat (year-round) has softened my presentations a lot. Upon seeing an outfit I think; outdoor meetups with my Mercedes Club, pool parties,  roaming an outdoor sculpture garden, and Pina Coladas. The above outfits will be perfect for several planned upcoming outings. 

The Denim Skirt - Tommy Behama's Boracay Beach Royal Botanic Skirt

The T-shirt - Tommy Bahama's Kauai Jersey T-Shirt in Blazing Orange Hthr

The Silk Blouse - Banana Republic's Dolman Top in Flight Jacket Green

The Wedge Heels* - J.Crew's Round-toe canvas espadrille wedges in natural

The Flat Sanders - NineWest's Wantit Flat Slide Sandals in light blue. 


The New Teacher 

*Note on the shoes: I saw these exact espadrille in The Netflix German movie called "Black Island". It is an excellent (dubbed into English) revenge story. The antagonist (actress Alice Dwyer) wore the same shoes a good part of the movie with jeans, dresses, and sometimes, to my immense pleasure, walking on the beach just carrying them. She was evil but cute.   

It was just by chance that I saw them on J.Crew this week.  How could I resist- they were meant to be mine.     

Thursday, September 2, 2021

Wear The Darrn Dress - An Essay


NOVEMBER 4, 2015

I stared at the dress for a long while.

It was just that pretty. Strapless with a gathered bodice, falling straight down to the floor. Navy blue with a shock of white, citron and hot pink flowers scattered about. Pockets. I reached out to touch the material, and the slinky rayon draped over my fingers like melted candle wax. I was in love. I was emotionally involved with a piece of clothing.

I eagerly pulled it on in front of the full length mirror, assuming I’d emerge as some sort of Aphrodite. I was a little deflated when I saw it was me standing there. The dress was still stunning. I tried to focus on that. But then I snuck a glimpse of my exposed arms, which looked woefully devoid of any definition. My hair—thrown up in a messy bun—suddenly looked dowdy, and a bit ratty. And my stomach, oh Lord, my stomach. It looked like there was still a baby in there. Not a large baby, I suppose. But a baby, nonetheless. My second round of pregnancy had left me with a belly that refused to deflate in Heidi Klum-like fashion.

Even with all the feelings, I couldn’t not buy that darn dress. Because we were in a relationship now.

So I took it home and ever-so-carefully hung it up in my closet.

And there it stayed.

I kept waiting for the right occasion, the right hair day, the right my-face-isn’t-breaking-out day. But the day never came. And I realized something:

I felt unworthy of the dress. [been there

It was just too beautiful. Someone else deserved to wear that dress. Someone who was about ten pounds lighter than me, who had clear skin and bouncy hair and super sparkly teeth. Someone who had abs. Even one ab would suffice.

Someday, maybe, I would be enough to wear the dress. But not today.

This went on for months. In the heat of summer, mind you. When a strapless maxi dress would actually have been quite useful.

I woke up one Saturday morning, groggy and bleary eyed. I had a meeting that morning. It was not a meeting I typically dressed up for. But the sun was unabashedly gleaming through the clouds, and it made me feel buoyant and a little brave. Also, I had no clean clothes.

I shimmied the dress on, adding a chunky green necklace to make me feel less bare. I took a few extra minutes to do my hair. When I surveyed my handiwork, I had to admit I looked ok. I actually felt pretty good...

Read more on Megan's Blog 

It was the way it made me feel inside, which couldn’t help but radiate all over my outside. It felt like my true self had shown up at that meeting. Fully and completely... No one is going to think that you’re trying too hard. Or that you don’t deserve to wear something so gorgeous.

They’re just going to see you. Being fully and completely yourself.

Just wear the darn dress.


Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Fall In The Air

Happy September 1.  Fall is in the air. The nights are getting longer, the days are getting shorter, and it’s getting cooler (in some places). The warm days of summer are almost over. Now we can enjoy the beauty of fall as the leaves change their colors. Plus, all those delicious fall fashions...  Escape!

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

National Beach Day


Venus - Blouson Tankini
My latest addition to the collection 

Apart from celebrating our favorite beaches, the goal of National Beach Day is to encourage beach lovers to clean up trash left behind by others on the beach. Thousands of sea birds, seals, pelicans and other beach/sea animals are killed and injured every day by discarded fishing line, plastic bags, aluminum cans, oil spills and other debris. These items poison animals and get tangled in wings, beaks and intestines, causing pain, starvation and the slow painful death of these innocent animals. 

Help keep your beach beautiful and safe for everyone...including the animals.


Sue's news and views blog a few weeks ago did a wonderful piece on swimwear for TGirls. There is very little I can add to her wonderful advice. 

It's the height of the holiday season and beachwear is the norm here on the coast. Here life is relaxed and quite family-oriented and it's acceptable to walk in town or shops in your swimwear with just a light top or wrap. Fundamentally, though, it's a choice between bikini or a swimsuit for us women. These are the kinds of garments that epitomise femininity... 

Read Sue's Post


From The "Retiring Not Shy" Site