Guest Post - I LOVE ballet flat

Guest Post By Brian

I'd like to thank Rhonda for reaching out and asking me to say a few words about my "Escape" and something that's a passion of mine.  Rhonda's Escape is about doing what YOU want and not what OTHERS want even though it might be perceived as out of the ordinary or not normal. What is normal these days? Basically just do what makes you happy.

Back in late 2016 Rhonda did a post about those cute and feminine little shoes that most girls or women own a pair or two called ballet flats.  This is how my "Escape" tied in with that post.  I LOVE ballet flats, I LOVE shopping for ballet flats, I LOVE wearing ballet flats and yes, I'm one of the guys that wears ballet flats.  

I LOVE ballet flats;
Other than high heels most shoes can be made to look like they were designed for women, men or are unisex.  One other shoe design that is for women only is ballet flats.  To use Rhonda's words from her post about ballet flats, "they scream girly." OK so I'm a bit girly, this is all about ESCAPES right?

I LOVE shopping for ballet flats;
A guy shopping for ballet flats for himself is not something you'll see everyday but it does happen more than you might think.  It's so easy to find a pair either on-line or in a store.  Some guys don't feel comfortable having a sales clerk help them and I understand that, but from my personal experience having a sales clerk help me while shopping for a cute pair of flats for myself can be fun.  I was surprised how well I was treated in high end boutiques while buy flats for myself.  They treated me like a king...or is that a queen?

I'm one of the (many) guys that wears ballet flats;
We already determined ballet flats scream girly so if you are a guy wanting to wear them you should prepare yourself for peoples reactions to your feminine footwear.  Now days most people are too busy to even notice, some people might spot them and pay you a nice complement or kindly ask you about your choice in shoes.  Lastly there is the never know what to expect reaction.  I could write a book about people reactions to me wearing my ballet flats. Everything from giggles and finger pointing to comments about sexual orientation  I've never felt threaten by these reactions but one day while wearing my pink patent Tory Burch flats at the mall a couple of red neck dads and their rug rat kids decided it would be fun to take cell phone pictures of me wearing my bright pink patent ballet flats. After their Kodak moment they moved along.  I'll admit, my bright pink flats were hard not to notice.  I still wear pink or other bright colored flats when I feel like it but most days I stick to more conservative colors.  

People have called me brave or courageous for wearing ballet flats but it's more of a passion or ESCAPE. 

Rhonda, Thanks for sharing your blog and your posts.

Brian

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My Note:  Brian, thank you so much for sharing. I did a Google search for "Men wearing Ballet Flats" and there you were. I know all my readers will love your article and I do love your courage.  See, Escape can come in many forms.   

Appear More Feminine

While doing research on flats for a previous post I ran across this discussion on heels.  Why do we wear them?  Why do women in general put up with the danger, discomfort, and future health issues. Despite the often discomfort of wearing high heels, I understand the addictive allure and attraction. The article below squarely put in the realm of Sex Appeal.  A non-scientific study that did some basic and simple tests found what we already knew all along.  Enjoy.... 

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Shoes With Sex Appeal: Why Women In High Heels Make Men Weak In The Knees

Published in Medical Daily 11/20/14 By Lizette Borreli

Sex Appeal 

A pair of 4-inch heels can make the difference between being a wallflower and being the center of attention in a room. High heels add the finishing touch to any ensemble, making them a girl’s best friend. According to a recent study published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, women who wear high heels are found to be significantly sexier to men.

"Women's shoe heel size exerts a powerful effect on men's behavior," said Nicolas Gueguen, lead author of the study from the department of social behavior at the University of Bretagne, according to the press release.

Heels force the pelvis to tilt so that your backside and your chest stick out more in comparison to flats. This elongates the female body and accentuates one of the most desirable traits found by men: long legs.

Woman wearing high heels and dress Women who wear this heel height exude more sex appeal, making them more likely to be approached by men. Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

From an evolutionary standpoint, a woman’s leg length is tied to the state of her health and fertility. A 2008 study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior found leg length is a good indicator of nutrition, since legs stop growing once women reach puberty. If a woman has long legs, she most likely grew up in a good environment, which can yield a positive effect on fertility.

Gueguen sought to observe the effect of sartorial appearance by conducting a series of four studies on the length of women’s shoe heels. In three out of the four studies, the French female participants were identically dressed in black suits with straight skirts and white shirts. Most of the participants were all brunettes because previous studies showed that men were more likely to approach blonde women over brunettes and ask them out on dates. The only noticeable difference among these women were their shoes.

The first three studies involved a woman confederate wearing black shoes with no heel, a 2-inch heel, or black pumps with a 3.5-inch heel asking men for help in various circumstances. The woman switched shoes after soliciting every 10 people.

In the first study, the women asked men to respond to a short survey on gender equality. The findings revealed women garnered the most responses when wearing the highest heels, with 83 percent of the men approached agreeing to spend three to four minutes answering questions. In comparison, 47 percent answered the questions when women wore flats.

Gueguen was curious as to whether this pattern could be seen when four women approached both men and women to answer some survey questions. The second study asked men and women to participate in a survey on local food habit consumption. Similar to the first study, men were more likely to respond when the women wore the highest heels — 3.5 inches — with a rate of 82 percent compared to their flat counterparts who only got 42 percent to say yes to the survey request. However, only 33 percent of women agreed to answer the survey, regardless of their heel height.

Since the men in both studies were receptive, Gueguen sought to test his obvious attraction hypothesis by observing men and women who were walking in back of the female participant. For the third study, the women were asked to walk ahead of the “targets” and then drop a glove in an oblivious fashion. The findings revealed 93 percent of men chased after the women when they wore high heels to return the glove, while only 62 percent did when she wore flat shoes. In this scenario, women were also more likely to track down the high-heeled women than their flat counterparts by 52 percent and 43 percent, respectively.

In the fourth and final study, Gueguen wanted to observe if high heels actually make men more likely to pursue a woman as a romantic interest. He strategically placed women wearing different heel heights in three bars as he sat them at tables near the bar where their shoes were visible to those standing and walking around the area. It took men about eight minutes to approach a woman wearing heels compared to those wearing flats, which took about 14 minutes.

Although science may have given some credibility to the sex appeal of high heels, Gueguen himself isn’t sure why heels make a woman more attractive. He suspects changes in walk and posture make her appear more feminine. He told Time, “As a man I can see that I prefer to see my wife when she wears high heels, and many men in France have the same evaluation.”

Gueguen’s study warrants further research to accurately determine whether this effect is contingent on a woman’s shoe heel size and on any change of strut because of the high heels. Whether it’s the high heels or the new ounce of confidence has yet to be determined. Regardless, remember ladies:You may be able to get your way wearing your favorite pair of heels.

Sources: Gueguen N. High Heels Increase Women’s Attractiveness. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 2014.

Skirt Length and Shoe Selection.

Skirt length and shoe selection guide by imogenl featuring Loro Piana

I will bet you never knew this secret.  As you look, you can see what works and what does not.  

Most of the time I make my own fashion layouts but Polyvore is so much fun to page through.  Many times you can find/purchase the items pictured but to just see all the combinations is inspiring.

Being a girl is so much Fun!

Flats

 My Ballet Flat Collection 

I identify as a pretty feminine person but one stereotypical girly article of clothing that I hate is flats. It takes me back to a male place;  think penny loafer without the penny.  Flats are the epitome of sacrificing beauty for comfort.  Almost the quintessential man repellent.  Well, not as bad as a pair of Uggs (aptly named) or Birkenstocks, but these are in special class of their own.


Ballet flats (especially the cheap ones) are a step up from house slippers, and only marginally better than flip-flops. They really are a casual, "basic" shoe.

Heels are my go to girly fix so here are some numbers I found - 77 percent of women wear heels for special occasions, just over half wear them to parties and social events, and 31 percent wear them to work. Studies have shown that these towering shoes can be costly in more ways than one, taking their toll on your spine, hips, knees, ankles and feet, while altering your posture and gait. But yet we wear then and we lust after them.

'I've spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes!'  Carrie Bradshaw - Sex In the City

However, last fall  I was looking into a seasonal job that was going to require me to be on my feet a good portion of the time.  Think retail and “shop girl”.  I noticed that few of the makeup sale associates at the high end makeup counters were wearing heels so I looked seriously at flats as a "reasonable" alternative.  I found an outstanding selection at Talbots "Jilly Ballet Flats" with enough colors at that time to make a fashion statement under a drab smock. I turned down the job because of other commitments, however pictured above is the collection of flats that I now own.  Maybe someday.

Until then, I do occasionally wear flats and many times keep a pair in my car.  They are perfect for a quick dart into the mall on the way to an event or dinner.  Plus in flats we do draw less attention and more easily blend.  That simple concession to “being reasonable” can add hours to an evening in heels.

That is exactly what I did just last week for a shopping stop to the mall. The cute blue heart pattern ballet flats were perfect and almost matched my skirt.  I have learned that needing to avoid heels does not always summons the fashion police.  There are plenty of options and ways to wear flat shoes that can keep you stylish especially at work and shopping. 

So, I guess I don't hate flats as much as I thought.  

Give us your opinion of flats.   How do you make then work?  I have not tried female flats as unisex look yet but have seen photos on the web.    Have you tried that?  

Walking In Wedge Heels

My Wedge Heel Collection

Last Thursday night I was going out and decided to wear a wedge heel.  In fact the Coach wedge in the top left.  They look so fashionable and hip.  Yes, not my first time at this shoe rodeo, but every time, there seems to be a new learning curve involved.  I am great in heels up to a point, and pride myself in being somewhat accomplished there in.  However wedge heels seem to be a completely different animal.  So here is what I found to help:



Practice Makes Perfect: Walking Tall in Wedge Shoes

By Megan Barnes - Woman24

Wedges are an extremely hot fashion statement. They are super glamorous and come in loads of fun colors and styles.

You can find wedges that emulate everything from sandals to loafers, and there are even a few wedge styled trainers out there.

However, even if you are a master of walking in sky-high heels, you may find walking in a wedge difficult.

Wedges Basics

The number one piece of advice we can offer on wedges is practice, practice, practice, and practice some more.

Successfully wearing a wedge is different from wearing a classic heel, and, just like when you first learned to walk in a heel, you need to practice in your wedges to really become comfortable with this new form of walking.

Read the rest of the article here:  Woman24

Woman24 is a great blog to check - Enjoy 

5 Reasons to Wear High Heels

Photo from: Cherie Izzo

Wednesday evening at our Meetup I complemented Cherie (yesterday's post) about the beautiful heel she had on and she did likewise.  We ended up discussing how much we both love high heels.  So with a little research, I found this article on eBay.  It seemed to hit all the high points (pun intended).   Thanks Cherie for the photo. 



1. High Heels Add Height

It may seem obvious that a pair of heels will add height on to the wearer, but it is the number one reason why women around the world wear high heels. Women may want to add height in a number of different situations. They may want to match their height to a taller date. Petite women especially use high heels to overcome their natural stature. If a petite woman want to feel taller and more confident, all she has to do is throw on a pair of heels and she'll be instantly more statuesque. Since heels vary in height even a woman who is already tall can benefit from heels, even if they are a bit shorter.

2. High Heels Draw Attention

A woman wearing heels definitely draws attention. Men love a woman in heels, and a great pair of heels can also draw compliments from other women. Stylish heels like high stilettos tend to draw the most attention, so stilettos may be the perfect choice if a woman is looking to turn heads. Heels with stunning accents will also draw more attention than plain heels, and exotic heels are an excellent way for a woman to add a focal point to an outfit.

3. High Heels Enhance Confidence

Wearing high heels can make a woman feel more confident. This is due to a number of reasons. For one, high heels enhance almost any outfit. Additionally, high heels can make a woman look more assertive, which in turn makes her feel more confident. As mentioned above, heels draw favorable attention to a woman, her outfit, and personal style. This makes her feel even better about how she looks.

4. High Heels Accentuate Legs

One of the benefits of high heels is that they make a woman's legs look amazing. Wearing high heels changes one's posture and can make a woman's legs look longer and leaner. Not only do wearing high heels give the look of long and sexy legs, but they can also tone a woman's leg muscles. Additionally, they improve the entire look of a woman's body by improving how she carries herself when she stands and walks.

5. High Heels Make One Look Thinner

A notable reason why women like high heels is that they make the wearer appear thinner. This is true with almost any type of outfit, including skinny pants. High heels make one look thinner in part because they force a woman to stand taller. In addition to making one appear thinner, they also tone one's leg muscles.

Conclusion

There are good reasons to wear high heels. They can add height and make a woman feel more confident. They always garner favorable attention and they give the appearance of long, lean legs. There are many different types of heels from which to choose. There are pumps, stilettos, wedges, and kitten heels. It is important to choose the right type of heel. This means taking into account what the shoes will be used for, the style and color, and the material they're made from. High heels can be a wonderful way to tie an outfit together, which is why finding the right heels is important. A woman looking to buy her first pair of heels will find a huge selection of shoes to choose from on eBay.

Kenneth Cole Pumps

The Kenneth Cole 'Kinky Boots' Collection - Heels

When the play "Kinky Boots" came out in 2013,  Kenneth Cole created a limited-edition capsule collection that features three styles inspired by the play: A red patent leather peep-toe pump and two knee-high boots. The shoes hit stores shortly after the play opened in New York and 100 percent of the proceeds went to The Kenneth Cole Foundation's project in support of the Human Rights Campaign.  A very worthy cause. 

This week when I saw the play, very near the beginning, the main character Charlie is having a discussion with his girlfriend over a pair of shoes in a display case.  She wants them! They are red patent leather open toe pumps like the drawing above.  Likely these are the pumps designed by Kenneth Cole that have become part of the stage props for the play.  They are beautiful!

Either male of female, if the sight of these glorious shoes does not quicken your pulse, then you are just not looking close enough! 

I love shoes!