Saturday, October 31, 2015

National Be Something Else Day

 Early Professional Photo '84

I am amazed how many women want to dress like hookers and how many men want to dress like a woman.  What does that say about our society?  Anonymous


This is national crossdressing day.  A day when we can pretend to be anything we want to be.  Little boys like being a super hero. Little girls like being a princess. Then there is us. 

Delia Melody over at Huffpost Voices described it this way.   "I'm not the only one who loves the excuse to play dress-up in public without the weird stares at least once a year. It's fun to pretend to be someone, or something else for a night." 

I am not going to rain on a parade so today I will tell you about my first time ever “really dressed” and going out. Something I had only fantasized about doing.  Months of planning - frequenting wig shops, boutiques, and hair salons to get makeup lessons all were part of the plan.  This was a time before electronic spreadsheets, but had they existed I am sure the engineer in me would have prepared a detail plan.  Instead, I had written checklists.  

I used Halloween and being out of town to solicit help, an innocent request - “My spouse wants to dress me up – so I want to know what I can look like beforehand.” was my cover story.  It seemed plausible and remember, this was the late 70’s.  I had barley admitted to myself I was a crossdresser and still had delusion that just seeing my self dressed “once” would cure me.  Let’s get this thing out of my system - forever. 

Several makeup artists really enjoyed the process, which amazed me.  There was one that was so proud of her work she went to get her husband, that also worked in the mall, to show him her masterpiece.  I think there was a secondary motive in that she wanted to dress him up.  Several insisted that we do it again and next time bring the whole “costume”, so they could see the total look.  Oh darn – must I – If you insist?  After each encounter, I had pages colored in and products in little bottles with numbers that corresponded to the colors on the face sheet.  Revelation One: Makeup was much more complicated and expensive than I ever imagined.  

The big day arrived and still out of town, I revisited my favorite make-up artist for the makeover.  She helped me get dressed and WOW.  Revelation Two:  This was not going to be the cure.  I loved the look.  I would date the woman staring back at me from the mirror.  Where can we go?

I had studied and several upscale restaurants were having a costume party so dinner with my newly unnamed friend seemed in order.  Just choose one and go.  So drive I did to one place.  Side note:  As I look back now, going everywhere, anytime and in a variety of outfits, I see that my anxiety was so unfounded.  Note to younger self – Just do it.

I had arrived too early and there was still some daylight.  “I can’t go in yet.”  So I waited for a while - but saw no one else go in wearing a costume.  Cannot go here!  So I drove to the other place.  Now it was dark and I was safe, but there were only a few cars in the lot.  Let’s wait until a few more show up.  After about an hour, waiting in the car, only a few and none in costume. Cannot go here!  So, I drove back to the other place.  Now I did see a few going in wearing a costume and it was dark.   Perfect.

Cannot go in yet!  By now, nerves and anxiety had taken its toll on my makeup.  Therefore, I need a quick trip back to my motel to see if I was still together.  I will come back once I know I still look OK.  After a quick check, I was still together and did return to the restaurant.   It was getting late by now and I was seeing people leaving in costume.  Had I missed my opportunity? 

I finally worked up enough courage to go in and sure enough the “costume walk was over”.  Prizes had already been awarded.  The host suggested that I go to the bar where several of the “costumed customers” had congregated for a final drink.  “You look great – who did your makeup” was her comment.  With much fear, I did go and join in at the bar.   I sat down and the bartender asked without hesitation asked" ma’am what can I get you?"  I felt the need to explain everything and his comment – “This is not going to be the last time you do this, is it?”  

Revelation Three: No truer statement was ever said.

 Happy - National Be Something Else Day 

Friday, October 30, 2015

Friend's Friday - 10/30

 Friends at Dinner

This past week I was in Toledo Ohio for business.  I took several opportunities to get out and by far my best evening was dinner with Nicole (center) and Stacy (right). I am making an effort to meet new friends as I travel and share experiences.  We make up a unique group and we talked, giggled, and shared stories for over three hours.  Great conversation with two very classy and intelligent ladies.  A good time was had by all - especially me. 
 Thank you girls for making the time. 


Friend's Friday

  Therefore, I would like to dedicate Fridays to you and your post. 
It is not that I have run out of things to write about, but I want to make this "our place". Please feel free to comment on something I said - did not say.  if you e-mail me your post I will queue then up and post on Fridays.  Tell me about your Halloween past/present. 

Rant about something I said.  Something you want said or just tell us about a fun experience.  Photos please.  (The “G” and “PG” versions). 
I look forward to hearing from you and posting "your stuff"……


Rhonda  - RhondaWilliams at Bellsouth.net

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Greeting Cards

This is an absolute adorable line of girly greeting cards described this way:

The perfect card for the social media savvy person in your life.  Great for birthdays or as a hello.
  • Greetings card featuring a high quality litho print of an original Miss Magpie hand drawn illustration.
  • Produced and printed locally in the UK
Here is the UK Contact information:


To contact me (Niki Groom) email me at info@missmagpiefashionspy.com



I found this and much more at this site:


Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Law and Order

 Katherine Moennig 2003 - Law & Order

Last Saturday evening as I was grazing old TV shows before bed  and came across Law & Order Special Victims Unit.  The Episode: "Fallacy" Season 4 episode 21.  It dealt sympathetically with a complex transgender story line and presented accurate facts and frank discussion.  The victim,  transgender. 

The episode is described this way:

At a party, a young woman is assaulted in the bathroom, and her assailant ends up dead. The girl leaves the ambulance before SVU can talk to her. Is this a case of self-defense, or something far more complex?  

Katherine Moennig plays the victim and makes a very convincing transgender woman, although in the real world there is not any evidence that she is transgender.   Some will remember her from the ShowTime series The L Word and her most recent character in another ShowTime series, Ray Donovan.   I love her look and she does play strong interesting characters.

If you have that season available on DVD or can pick it up, it is well worth seeing for the discussion on both sides of the law.  This Episode was from April 2003 and I would like to believe that progress has been made.  But this is interesting from its early prospective and presentation.  Spoiler alert – It does not have a tidy ending. 


Monday, October 26, 2015

A Ban on Conversion Therapies

I found this on the CrossDreamer's BLOG.  It is likely that you have seen it but just in case I have posted it below.  This is so relevant and important it is worth our attention.  The full report.


US Report Calls for Ban on Conversion Therapies for Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Youth

A short little update here on LGBT policies in the US, as it may help many of us gain some perspective on where the general consensus is right now as regards sexual diversity and gender variance.

The US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA) has published a report on so-called "conversion therapies", based on a thorough review of current research.

The expert panel was set up by SAMHSA and the American Psychological Association (APA) earlier this year, and included prominent American figures in LGBT human rights, policy, research, treatment, and advocacy.

"This groundbreaking report dispels widespread misconceptions about sexual and gender development and definitively concludes that treatments designed to change a child's sexual orientation or gender identity do not work, are devastatingly harmful to 'victims' of this type of therapy, and should not be considered appropriate mental health services," Dr. Celia B. Fisher, who served on the expert consensus panel says.

Conversion therapy does not work

Indeed, the main conclusions in the report are clear:

  • "Same-gender sexual orientation (including identity, behavior, and attraction) and variations in gender identity and gender expression are a part of the normal spectrum of human diversity and do not constitute a mental disorder.
  • "There is limited research on conversion therapy efforts among children and adolescents; however, none of the existing research supports the premise that mental or behavioral health interventions can alter gender identity or sexual orientation.
  • "Interventions aimed at a fixed outcome, such as gender conformity or heterosexual orientation, including those aimed at changing gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation are coercive, can be harmful, and should not be part of behavioral health treatment."

Gender variance is not pathological

The message from the American Psychological Association is also clear: Being a sexual or gender minority, or identifying as LGBTQ, is not pathological.
The report discuss different life trajectories of transgender people, but do not set them up against each other, or give them different status or value. Both early onset and late onset transgender people are included, and female to male as well as male to female.

Society causes distress

The report takes, as much research on transgender today, biological factors into consideration. But the expert panel is also very much aware of the way social forces shape the lives of transgender:

"While most adolescents with gender dysphoria score within normal ranges on psychological tests (...), some gender minority children and adolescents have elevated risk of depression, anxiety, and behavioral issues. These psychosocial issues are likely related to if not caused by negative social attitudes or rejection (...).

As with sexual minority adolescents, other issues of clinical relevance for gender minority adolescents include increased risk of experiencing victimization and violence, suicidal ideation and attempts, and homelessness."
Gender identity caused by interplay of factors

Indeed, the experts stress that the development of gender identity "appears to be the result of a complex interplay between biological, environmental, and psychological factors."

Leave room for LGBT youth

The basic principle for health care for LGBT youth is simply to give them room to find out for themselves who they are. The goal of the treatment should be "the best possible level of psychological functioning, rather than any specific gender identity, gender expression or sexual orientation."

No support for transphobic science

As some of my readers will know, the extremist tribe of sexology, Ray Blanchard and J. Michael Bailey included, continue to argue for conversion therapy for feminine boys and those Blanchard call "sissies". But then again they consider male to female transgender people mentally ill.

It is clear that they find little support for this in the research and health communities. They will also find little support for the idea that they, as scientists, somehow stand outside the realm of ethics. This expert panel is acutely aware of the ethical responsibilities of scientists and health care providers.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Sunday Funnies 10/25

The funnies were my favorite section of the Sunday paper when I was growing up. I will make an effort to make this a regular Sunday feature. 
I hope you are having a happy Sunday!

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Friday, October 23, 2015

Lunch With Friends

Yesterday's Lunch

I have been wonderfully blesses on my last two jobs working with/for the same man.  I have never been treated more fairly, and with such respect.  We were a good team and I miss seeing him every day.  During that time I also became friends with his wife (pictured above) an equally intelligent and warm person.  Yesterday we had lunch in Delray Beach.   Thank you for being my friends.  


Friend's Friday

  Therefore, I would like to dedicate Fridays to you and your post. 
It is not that I have run out of things to write about, but I want to make this "our place". Please feel free to comment on something I said - did not say.  if you e-mail me your post I will queue then up and post on Fridays.  

Rant about something I said.  Something you want said or just tell us about a fun experience.  Photos please.  (The “G” and “PG” versions). 
I look forward to hearing from you and posting "your stuff"……


Rhonda  - RhondaWilliams at Bellsouth.net

Thursday, October 22, 2015


ilSandalo - Palm Beach

I know fall is here and those of you in the Northeast just experienced your first show, but for those of us still in the sunshine it is always sandal season.  Just this past weekend I was in Palm Beach, Worth Avenue and visited one of my favorite sandal shop - ilSandalo - Beautiful custom made Italian all leather sandals.  

My foot is unusual and I had almost given up on wearing most any stylish sandal.  I have a very high instep so any standard strap going across the top of my foot did not fit at all.  Think Mary Jane style straps - my foot just would not go far enough through the strap to be comfortable or even go on.

While Worth Avenue shopping a few years back, I visited ilSandalo and met Fabio Tesorone the business owner and shoe designer.  What a wonderful person.  The store has factories in Italy and manufacture and design the shoe parts.  Then using the parts, they make custom design sandals to fit, on premise or to order.   The shoes are made to meet your special design and/or size needs.   I have both of the shoes pictured above and love them.  Please check out their web site (link below) and let Fabio know that Rhonda sent you, if you order.  You will be satisfied with your custom fit sandals and Fabio's great customer service.  Beautiful shoes!    

Think warm sunshine - plan ahead - visit Florida, and think of the beach with sand between your toes along with beautiful sandals at elegant beach front restaurants.  We do love our shoes!



Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Back To The Future Day

Michael J. Fox, portraying Marty McFly/Marty McFly Jr/Marlene McFly  (Marlene above).
"Back to the Future Part II" (1989).

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Interview with Eddie Izzard

February 11, 2015
Comedian Eddie Izzard dons his skirt for a revealing chat with VirginiaTrioli 
ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

At about the nine minute point in the interview he response to a question in a very interesting way.  I hope my attempt to transcribe his comment is accurate.

Question:  So the center of your creativity is a true life knowing who you truly are, accepting it, coming out in that way ,  and that is the wellspring of you creativity?

Answer: No that is not it - The difficulty of walking out in the street in heels and makeup and the negativity and hate that gets thrown at you and pushing back on that. Saying no that guilt and shame are not part of my life. You can go and deal with that.  You go see a psychiatrist if you have a problem with this.
if you believe in a god - god give me these genetics, if you don't believe in a god then I have these genetics.  Everyone has different genetics and I am being honest about this.  For 5000 years people have been attacked for being transgender or LGBT and I am saying it stops now. We are going to roll this back....

It is great to be at this place and I don't care what people think. I will take whatever happens to me.

The whole interview can be seen here at this YouTube link.

or Australian Broadcasting Corporation 


Monday, October 19, 2015

Que Sera, Sera

1992 Movie "Just Like A Woman"

Every time I hear the wonderful Doris Day - Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be Will Be) I am remeinded of the opening scenes for the 1992 movie "Just Like a Woman".

Just substitute  the words "When I just a little Girl/Boy I ask my mother what will I be?"  - 
Que Sera, Sera

The movie is worth seeing again and again -  You tube 

and the song has lots of meaing as the young boy watches his mother get dressed. 

The Doris Day version of Que Sera, Sera

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Sunday Funnies 10/18


The funnies were my favorite section of the Sunday paper when I was growing up. I will make an effort to make this a regular Sunday feature. 
I hope you are having a happy Sunday! 

With Halloween coming up please send me your stories - Next week's "Friend's Friday" and leading up to "National Cross Dressing Day" I would love to post your stories and fun times.  

Rhonda Williams (at) Bellsouth (dot) Net or use the comment box – Thank you.