she socially transitioned at the age of 4
By: Jon Brooks Aug 26, 2018
Gracie is the youngest transgender person I've ever met. She's so young, she still likes to tack on "and-a-half" when giving her age, which is six. One day last summer, bouncing all over the grounds at day camp, she looked as delighted as you'd expect any kid would on "Water Day.”
The Controversial Research on 'Desistance' in Transgender Youth
This is Rainbow Day Camp, in the East Bay town of El Cerrito. It was created specifically to be a safe place for transgender kids, and in fact, being transgender is so unremarkable here, when I asked Gracie what makes it “special," she shrugged and said:
“You get to do fun stuff.”
Her mother, Molly, tried to coax a reporter-friendly answer out of her.
“What is special about you, and the same as everybody else in the camp?” she prompted.
“I don’t know,” Gracie said.
“You’re transgender and there’s other kids that are transgender, too...”
“I’m transgender and there’s other kids that are transgender, too.”
Ah, kids. ... But when I asked Gracie how she used to feel, when other people thought she was a boy, she got straight to the point.
“It was not right to me, and I didn’t want people to say that, but they said it,” she said. “It hurted my feelings a lot."
Did it make her angry?
“No, it just made me sad.”
Email the reporter
How about now?
“It feels happy to me.”
And that, in a child’s nutshell, sums up one side of a contentious debate about the right age for transgender children to begin what gender clinicians call “social transitioning.”
|Phoenix, a transgender girl|
Began wearing dresses to school at age 5
“Why would we deny for the vast majority of kids something that is basically suicide prevention?”
As a parent, I wonder: If my daughter became incandescently happy when allowed to change her name and take on other aspects of being transgender — as happy as Molly describes Gracie becoming when recognized as a girl — what would I do? If some statistics indicated my child might one day switch back, but my deepest parental instincts told me to trust her joyfulness, could I ignore the latter?
At Rainbow Day Camp, I spoke to James, a 9-year-old transgender boy who’d transitioned during second grade. He told me matter-of-factly that he’d been bullied by older kids, who’d called him an “It.”
After he transitioned, his mother said, “There was just this comfort that came about him, and comfort's something that you can't really fake. He’s [just] a happier kid.”
Similarly, before Gracie’s transition, family life was “lackluster,” Molly recalled. The constant tension drained the joy out of childhood for everybody.
“You never got to see that sort of sparkle, or that sort of magic of, like, a Christmas morning, or a Halloween, or just regular day-to-day happiness,” Molly said.
“Now she gets to really live.”
I've always watched it and I've also always been interested in learning facts and stuff, and as I mentioned on the show, in eighth grade I was voted Most Likely to Be on Jeopardy! One Day. It was always sort of in my mind that it might be something I did at some point."
Femininity is your deepest source of inner strength and resilience, not a weakness. Femininity is your inherent power, not your insufficiency.
|Billy Porter attending The Fashion Awards |
wearing a Richard Quinn dress
and black platform heeled boots.
BY AMY DE KLERK MAY 17, 2021
There seems to be a feeling of hope in the air as we dare to dream of better days to come. This mood is something which has certainly been reflected in designer collections for the past two seasons, with retailers banking on bright colour and joyful dressing as key trends to watch out for once we are on the other side of the pandemic. This association between brightly coloured clothing and happiness is not new; in fact, the idea of instilling joy through what we wear has a name – ‘dopamine dressing’ – and has long been the subject of psychological research. But, can the colours we wear actually have an impact on our mood? And, is this something we should be thinking about when we get dressed every morning?
To understand this concept, it is first important to grasp the basics of dopamine, which is a type of neurotransmitter. Maria Costantino, a lecturer in cultural and historical studies at the London College of Fashion, explains.
Our bodies produce dopamine and our nervous system uses it to send messages between nerve cells. “It has many functions: it is involved in reward, motivation, memory, and attention. When dopamine is released in large amounts, it creates feelings of pleasure and reward which motivates us to repeat a specific behavior.”
In theory, this specific behavior could include the feelings we have when we buy or wear new clothes, Costantino explains. This concept of wearing certain clothes to make us happier is something which Professor Karen Pine from the University of Hertfordshire decided to investigate in 2012. Pine undertook a study into this idea of ‘dopamine dressing’ and found that when participants wore clothes of symbolic value to them, their perceived confidence increased.
The theory of ‘enclothed cognition’ teaches us that the attributes we associate with specific clothes are incredibly powerful. When we wear these clothes, the associations have the power to change the way we feel and even change the way we act. So, for example, if you associate a yellow jumper with happiness, then you will embody that feeling of happiness when you wear it.
But ultimately, if you're looking to encourage feelings of happiness and contentment through your own wardrobe, you don’t need to turn to a specific colour, just look to what you already know you love.
Vogue also is drawing a direct correlation between your sartorial sense(s). Happiness levels might feel a touch ambiguous but according to US fashion psychologist Dawnn Karen, who founded the Fashion Psychologist Institute, it’s a genuine strategy she recommends to (her) clients. The author of Dress Your Best Life: Harness the Power of Clothes to Transform Your Life and adjunct faculty member at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York, says at its core, dopamine dressing is about “dressing to best optimize your mood”.
Science News reported in an article about joy of running, that sense of well-being, freedom and extra energy that runners often experience is not just a matter of endorphins. The new study shows that the "runner's high" phenomenon is also caused by dopamine, an important neurotransmitter for motivation.
My "Escapes" have always been a source of well being that has a lasting effect on my overall mood. Maybe it is the excitement or the sense of self-awareness. I always feel better after getting out. The fashion industry is calling it "dopamine dressing"; something we have known about for years!
According to Vice News - Of Course Joe Manchin Drives a Maserati
The moderate West Virginia Democrat was caught in the luxury vehicle while surrounded by climate change activists Thursday morning, according to Politico. Reminder: He hails from a state where 16 percent of the population is impoverished and the average household earns far less each year than what a Maserati is worth.
Many of you will remember this alternative version of the "Night Before Christmas" from previous Christmas eves. This has become my tradition for Christmas and I hope you enjoy it. Wishes for a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. May you find good health, peace and happiness in 2022. And above all else, Escape; live "your" life.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru the house
I was making my plans to look more like my spouse
I carefully laid out my very best clothes
My bra and my panties, my slip and my hose
My stockings weren't hung by the chimney tonite
They were on me instead, feeling sensually tight
My dress was of velvet, a burgundy red
And on my long nails a new polish was spread
With makeup and jewelry, high heels on my feet
I was looking so sexy, and feeling so sweet
When out in the yard there arose such a noise
That I sprang from my bedroom, forgetting my poise
The moon on the snow with it's brilliant white glitter
Reminds me of lace, to set my heart a-twitter
When what to my long-lashed eyes should appear
But a person in red with a sleigh and reindeer
But I couldn't tell, was it a 'he' or a 'she'
The one with the pack was dressed somewhat like me
There in the sleigh was this 'cutsey' old flirt
With a white wig and makeup, a red blouse and skirt
The reindeer were sparkling, with rhinestones and pearls
And their antlers in ribbons, so they all looked like girls
When s/he stepped from the sleigh, to my eyes were revealed
Her knee-hi black boots with their seven-inch heels
Santa just blushed, but I stood there and smiled
And said, "Hello, my dear, can you stay for awhile?"
"Well you finally caught me", he said with a pout
"At this time on Christmas, folks are seldom about."
"I don't go enfemme very ofen at home,
Mrs Clause doesn't like it, so I do it alone.
"So when I give out goodies to make others smile
"I like to feel pretty and femme for awhile."
"So I ride off dressed up, from my hi-heels to wig,
"On Christmas eve night while I'm doing my gig."
I said, "Don't worry Santa, your secret is safe
Why don't you come in and just freshen your face."
We sat and we talked and vented our passion
For feminine frills and the latest new fashions
We finally parted with a hug and a kiss
She said, "I must go now, or some children I'll miss"
I went to my party and had a great time
With music and laughter and good food and wine
But when I returned and looked under my tree
I found some new pretties from sweet Santa to me
Lacy panties, a bra and a soft satin blouse
Perfumes and some candles to light up my house
But it wasn't the goodies that swept away my blues
It was knowing that Santa was a cross dresser too
So next time don't judge all the people you meet
By what they are wearing when out on the street
For in being ones self, there's no 'wrong or right'
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Your gift is a token of support and love and affirmation for our futures.
To some degree I am envious of winter fashions. Where I live this would be so out-of-place on all but a few days. An outfit like this is very difficult to justify unless you are planning numerous trips up north. Hint. Hint.
Lookastic has a post on How To Wear a Poncho: 10 Ways To Pull Off The Poncho Look
Pulling off a poncho can be tricky. The poncho's wide shape needs to be balanced out by the right styling. Here are 10 styling tips on what to wear with your poncho to stay warm and stylish this fall/winter season.
My favorite suggestion is "Poncho With Ripped Jeans To create a casual, off-duty look, opt for distressed denim". See that photo at Lookastic - "Finishing off with a pair of tan thong sandals is an effortless way to inject a touch of stylish effortlessness into this outfit."
I listed this as a feminine differential because the only male I have seen pulling this off successfully was Clint Eastwood in the movie "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly". Love the opening song.
The above fashion layout consist of Boston Proper's FAUX-SUEDE PULL ON LEGGING, Boston Proper's FAUX-FUR CUFF PONCHO and various shoes, booties, and accessories that I already have.
|Boston Proper - FAUX-FUR CUFF PONCHO|
I love the high boots
What do you think? Something you wear or would wear?
Beth Greenfield·Senior Editor
Wed, December 1, 2021
When pageant contestant Kataluna Enriquez won Miss Nevada in July, catapulting her off to compete in the Miss USA contest as the first transgender woman to do so, she was thrilled to be a symbol of hope for not one but two underrepresented communities.
"I'm a trans woman of color, a minority within a minority," Enriquez, who is Filipino, told Yahoo Life at the time. "I"m everything that's not represented in our country, and [ready] to create conversations around what it means to be an American."
On Monday, though, her chance to do that was cut short when she failed to advance past closed-door interviews to join one of the Top 16 Miss USA finalists at the big event in Tulsa, Okla. It concluded with Miss Kentucky Elle Smith winning the crown, and going on to compete in Miss Universe, set to take place on Dec. 12 in Eilat, Israel.
But, said Enriquez, 28, who spoke to Yahoo Life by phone on Tuesday:
It was an honor just to be able to represent my community and be an example for young queer children who now know they don't need to be limited by society's standards.
As for not placing in the competition, "I was shocked. But I was more disappointed because I worked so hard for it," she said. "I think they were just not ready."
While others in the competition, said Enriquez, were asked to share their thoughts on a range of topics during the closed-door interview portion of the contest, "my interview was solely on my transitioning," she said. "It was disappointing to me because I had so much more to offer, I had so much I wanted to talk about… Others were asked about politics, climate change, so it was highly disappointing for me because I expected more."
Most jeans have a similar look and jeans originated in the men's department as utilitarian work cloths. Women adopted them soon out of comfort and for the same utilitarian reasons. I remember my mother having jeans she wore doing house work or gardening. We are taking the 50's.
The jeans above are "Women's 724 Straight-Leg Jeans" purchased from Macy's.
What I always look to find is the "feminine differential" that tips the scale. Shown above is the "Ribbed V-Neck Sweater" from Venus; a great look. The sleeves of the sweater are long sleeve and I do push then up to be 3/4 length (a feminine differential). Also shown is the Coach "Beat Saddle Bag".
The shoes are last season's (sold out) Brooks Brothers Espadrille wedges and the flats are Tory Burch. The glasses are Ralph Lauren .
"So frustrated with those who make others lives so difficult."
One of my loyal readers sent the above comment and cartoon thought on my post "I Do Not Like This Success Story". Very appropriate.
See my "Shop Girl" post.
Maya Henry is a Toronto based actress and social media influencer. She graduated from Ryerson University with a BFA in Film Studies with a focus on film editing and screenwriting. In July of 2014 Maya created her youtube channel as a way to chronicle her transition and share her experience with the world. Three short years later, she has amassed over 19 million video views and built a youtube family of over 180 thousand subscribers. In September of 2017, Maya starred in a short film titled, “For Nonna Anna” which made it’s debut at the Toronto International Film Festival and won a Special Jury Prize at the 2018 Sundance Film Festival.
I have experience with acting, modelling, film editing, and working with companies on sponsorship opportunities. I am flexible when working to meet the needs of my clients and guarantee a professional, high quality collaboration.
Yesterday's post was about getting out during this holiday season. Here is the event I attended last Sunday evening.
Cocktails for Compass is an annual signature fundraiser that brings together our community’s most distinguished residents for an evening of celebration and philanthropy. The night featured cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, music, dancing and an inspiring retrospective of the work of one of Compass’s most fervent supporter, the late fashion designer Alfred Fiandaca.
Compass is The Palm Beach's LGBTQ center. It is rather unique and does a world of good for our community - Confidential health care/testing, numerous support groups, youth/teem groups, AA meetings, senior coffee meetings, proms, art exhibitions, monthly business alliance meetups, professional counseling, and much more. It also organizes the Palm Beach Pride weekend.
I have been involved with Compass for about 28 years having started the Palm Beach's first transgender support group; "The Gender Society of Palm Beach". I facilitated it for about six years until it grew and needed a professional leader. I still visit occasionally and take much pride in how it has grown, especially in its support of young transgender teens.
Sunday's event was held at a posh Palm Beach private club with well over 200 in attendance. It was so nicely done. The main event was models, many that are Compass volunteers, wearing vintage Alfred Fiandaca creations; beautiful gowns.
According to WWD, "The designer, a third-generation member of his family to be involved in design, was known for his coolly classic, understated looks, which were cut to flatter rather than demand attention, and thus appealed to a variety of political wives, among them Nancy Reagan, Lady Bird Johnson, Muriel Humphrey, Kitty Dukakis and Joan Kennedy. He designed for Audrey Hepburn and Julie Andrews, too."
Fiandaca, being a Palm Beach resident, was a major supporter of Compass. It was fitting that Compass honed him this evening.
|Vintage Alfred Fiandaca Gowns|
You are covered up: As the cool and winter weather creeps in, circumstances allow you to wear a coat thus covering your beautiful feminine finery, if shy. Maybe just a bra; as Stana says. "Feel like a woman, wear a bra". Feminine pants, boots can all be androgynous with longer pants many times falling below the (high) heel of your boot.
Parties are a plenty: Maybe a holiday party with your support group. You know the group you have not attended in years. Wear that holiday dress of even the gown that you have. "All dressed up and somewhere to go." With just a little effort you will be the best dressed there.
Keep in mind your holiday office party! Why not?Shopping: Many of my early escapes were in and around the December holidays. If you are still shopping in just male mode under the guise, "for my wife", then now is you opportunity. I had someone (a guy) in my lingerie shop just yesterday that I knew was shopping for himself. He wanted PJs and insisted they be silky.
Girlfriends out together: Restaurants are finally getting back to their new normal, and are happy to have patrons. Call your girlfriends and head out. The more expensive the place the happier they are to see you. Trust me, you will blend in with the crowd enjoying a "glass of wine" after the mall shopping. Or, have a quiet dinner before heading back for the evening. Tip nicely to be remembered, especially if greeted by "what can I get you Ma'am". Don't be shy; it is your right, privilege and announcement to the world that you are proud. Head held high. .
Have your own party at home: Invite your friends and on the invitation state "wear you best holiday dress/outfit". And, while cooking make sure you have a holiday inspired apron. You would not want to a spill on your lovely red dress.
It only takes two to declare a party.
Ti's the season to Escape!
From Business Insider - Ashley Lutz
Blue jeans are increasingly going out of style, and even industry heavyweights like Levi's and Gap are taking notice.
My Note: Stop the presses! (Do they do that any more?)
My current employer (retail) allows leggings with the caveat that the top must fall below the seat of the legging; think tunic. I believe this to be a flattering look for the over 30 generation not exercising at the gym.
However what I am seeing is more and more yoga pants and legging being worn; some flatter, some not so.
The Business Insider article continues - And longtime industry leader Gap isn't all about jeans anymore.
The company is investing heavily in its Athleta activewear business, reports Sapna Maheshwari at Buzzfeed.
"My generation grew up wearing jeans — jeans are just a part of our life, and it still is, Athleta executive Nancy Green told Buzzfeed. "But this generation is growing up in yoga pants and activewear. So I think it’s just going to be bigger and bigger and bigger for the future."
As young consumers grow up, it's likely they'll continue to wear leggings and activewear instead of jeans.
Lululemon is one store,at my local mall, I have watch expand twice in the last few years. It deals almost exclusively in exercise wear and tights/leggings. There is a message there.
What do you think? When would you wear legging - if at all?
News Week reported the facts this way:
Thesaurus.com has said it will review its entry for "feminine" after a woman complained about its "comical" synonyms for the word.
Kaya Day was so disappointed with the limited selection that she wrote a letter of complaint.
What do you think?
APRIL 30, 2015 by ROMINA
The term androgyny comes from Ancient Greek joining the words man-woman. Androgynes describe themselves variously as genderless, ambigender or multigender.
The Androgynous Look combines masculine and feminine features that go well for both women and men, as illustrated by this outfit.
I put on a Vintage blazer over a simple H&M tee, boyfriend jeans, and Minelli brogues. Though I wear my Tom Ford prescription glasses daily, I take them off in my shoots. Once in a while, I thought it would be nice to feature them.
I was bored after my pool time and beach walks had become weather limited. I know we Floridians are so spoiled by our 85 degree days - cool to us is anything below 80. There has to be something fun, different, and challenging to do for the upcoming holiday season; Home Depot or Macy's?
I have not worked retail since high school, but do love interacting with people and "Escapes". The ad above asks, "Do you have a passion for fashion?" YES!
The interview was over the phone (resume was e-mailed prior) and I was offered a job on the call. I insisted before accepting, that there be an in-person meeting, knowing that full disclosure was a must. That occurred the next day and the regional manager noted that she would need to clear me working with the corporate office. About three hours later I was asked to start immediately. Two days later, I started.
My first two days were watching training videos and filling out paperwork; payroll, insurance and basic new-hire forms. The register "check out" procedures are complex - Online sales/returns/orders, customer loyalty programs, gift receipts, splitting the purchase and plus knowing the vast array of intimate products. And, the store layout is critical to being able to help customers find the proper product. My next day was opening boxes of bras and panties and restocking the floor displays/cabinet drawers. Never in life have I handled such beautiful feminine finery. This was a great way to learn the many different styles and products.
Three weeks on the job: Everyone at the store is wonderful and patient as I keep learning the processes/products. I work the floor/registers and have helped many pick products that makes them happy. I have determined that women do love lingerie. Sure some shop for utilitarian reasons, but I see most enjoying the experience of the color/style selection. Few buy just one of our wonderful products.
How long will I keep this up? I have committed to "through the holidays". The only issue is eight hours on my feet. This was not healthy for my somewhat blood-flow compromised legs. Even my doctor discourage the full standing shift. The store has been accommodating and schedules me for four-hour shifts, either opening or closing, filling in as needed working four to five days a week.
One big observation is that time goes fast. Maybe the fact that I am enjoying the environment, being busy, or the interactions. Before I know it, my fours hours have breezed by.
I love a challenge and especially challenging gender norms:
I don't think I will ever be described as shy. It is wonderful to see our sisters on magazine covers. However, attitudes will not change until we make ourselves visible and relevant. All of my co-workers know that I am transgender and my mission is to represent our community and move forward 'acceptance'. Plus, have some fun in the process.
Stay tuned for more exciting stories from the "Lingerie Shop Girl".