Friday, April 30, 2021

Friend's Friday - The Inn At Indian Rock

By Katy

 Katy and Tina
photos from that era 2007

I told this story to Rhonda over coffee last week. It took place more than 14 years ago, about a year after I finally decided to break out of the closet, I had locked myself into for the first half of my life. I couldn’t do it any longer. 

Back then, my “outings” were getting dressed, sneaking out to the car, driving a couple of blocks to a blue mailbox, getting out and pretending to mail a letter, and then getting back into the car and running back into the house. I wanted to actually be “out among the living” as I know you all understand.

Here’s what happened: I signed up to attend the Renaissance Holiday Party held in a small hotel west of Philadelphia. The very first human being I talked to while being dressed was a lovely trans-lady named Emily, who, as it turned out, was a retired airline pilot! What are the chances that the two professional pilots at the party meet in the first minutes of the party?

Emily was so kind. She sensed my nervousness about being out in public and she suggested that I join her Emily’s Ladies Night Out (ELNO) group who met once a month in the New Hope area of Pennsylvania which was filled with quaint, romantic, country inns. Emily’s group would meet at the inn, be typically ushered into a private room where they chatted and had dinner together, making new friends, and getting used to being out in public. The “out in public” part was pretty much confined to coming into and leaving the restaurant, but that was an adventure in and of itself for most of us and took courage at that particular stage of our metamorphosis. I attended several ELNO’s at various venues and met friends who remain friends to this day. 

Emily didn’t want to the group to get “stale” by going back to the same country inn repeatedly.  With that thought in mind, she made arrangements to meet at The Inn at Indian Rock (now permanently closed) at Upper Black Eddy, about 35 minutes north of New Hope. The inn had been around since 1820 and had a lovely view of the Delaware, although the location, admittedly, was way out in the sticks. I arrived about 45 minutes early, hoping to have a cocktail at the bar before being ushered into a private back room. I didn’t want to go back to a “bigger closet.”

I opened the door to the bar area and found the room full of men who were either local farmers or deer hunters dressed in camouflage. For some reason, I was expecting a romantic inn along the river to be filled with sophisticated folks from Philadelphia, enjoying a weekend escape to lovely Bucks County. This was like walking into a rural Agway with beer being served. There were no other women in the room and the only seat open at the bar and was between two guys in camouflage, complete with camo baseball caps! Remembering my self-advice to “walk into a room like you owned the place,” I smiled and successfully slipped into the open seat without bumping into either of the guys who were now looking at me up and down. 

The guy on the left, about 60 years old, I’d guess, said with sort of a snicker, “well, what brings you in here?” His seatmate leaned in, eager to hear my reply I supposed. “I was deer hunting and decided I needed a cocktail,” I said. They both laughed and looked at each other, laughing. Then the guy next to me introduced himself as “George” and his buddy as “Ed.” They explained that they were local farmers who had spent the day deer-hunting and they came in out of the cold for a couple of whiskeys. When I asked the bartender for a cosmo, he looked like I had just requested moon rocks in my drink. He mumbled something about not having cranberry juice, but a few minutes later he returned with something that looked and sort of tasted like a cosmo… sort of. He was very proud of himself, so I told him it was fantastic.

I was determined not to be shut down by the situation. I smiled, was pleasant, and showed interest in others. George lived alone on the family farm, didn’t have cows so he didn’t have a regular milk check to bank on, and did a tour in Viet Nam with the 25th Infantry Division stationed a Cu, Chi. I told him I ran the communications tower and microwave links out of Cu Chi to Lai Khe, Phuoc Vinh, and Tay Ninh. 

That, new, common ground, opened the flood gates. We talked and talked. George’s wife had died a few years back and he hadn’t really talked to a woman in years. We laughed, told stories, and laughed some more. The door opened and Emily poked her head in, motioning me to come with her to the private room. I told George how much I enjoyed our conversation and thanked him for his kind reception and then said, “goodnight.”

Later that night, as we were all finishing our dessert and coffee, the door popped open and who appeared in the doorway but George, capless this time. He looked straight at me and said, “Goodnight Katy…I hope I see you again.” I smiled and almost speechless said, “I hope so, too.” 

To this day, I wonder what could have happened. Luckily, I suppose, nothing did, but it was fun to think about! Mostly though, I was proud of myself for “making something out of nothing,” and not chickening out because of the situation. A smile and a pleasant attitude opened the door to find common ground. Once that was done, it was all an interesting adventure…and a really great “Escape” as Rhonda often says.


Thursday, April 29, 2021

Today’s Anti-trans Legislation Is Only The Beginning

 By: Orion Rodriguez

It’s only four months into 2021 and more than 100 anti-transgender bills have been introduced across 33 states. Despite claims that the laws will “protect children who are too young” from making decisions about their gender, these efforts only put transgender children at even greater risk. At best, these bills are a matter of straightforward discrimination, banning trans youth from participating in sports and other extracurricular activities. At worst, they seek to drive trans children into the closet permanently and prevent them from transitioning at all.


The American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, and other professional organizations all condemn these laws. The need for affirmation and support to maintain trans mental health is underscored by research around gender identity. For young children, this transition is purely social—using a different name and pronouns, and dressing in a gender-affirming way. For children starting puberty, it might mean taking puberty blockers for a few years. Contrary to the fearmongering of anti-trans lawmakers and proponents, if at any point a child realizes they are not trans, they can simply stop with no lasting changes.

Conservatives have attempted to muddle the issue by claiming that parents and doctors are pressuring children into taking cross-sex hormones or altering their bodies surgically at young ages. In fact, most doctors will wait until at least age 16 to prescribe hormones, and the Endocrine Society recommends waiting until age 18 for any kind of surgeries.

These laws are designed to erroneously conflate social and medical transition, and criminalize any attempts by supportive adults to affirm the trans youth in their lives. The “problem” they claim to solve doesn’t exist. Their only aim is to inflict psychological damage on trans and gender-nonconforming children as well as threaten and prevent adults for affirming their children’s identities.

While the majority of these bills target youth below the age of 18, the religious right and other anti-trans proponents have proven that any restrictions they manage to pass won’t be confined to children for long. In just a few short weeks, the speed at which these bills have been proposed across multiple states clearly indicates their attempts to set legal precedent, with the goal of eventually outlawing gender-affirming care for all age groups nationwide.

Almost as soon as Arkansas’ bill banning transition care for minors passed, state Republicans introduced new legislation to deny trans people of all ages access to public restrooms. Bathroom bills do nothing to protect cisgender women from predators, but do put trans and gender-nonconforming people at daily risk of harassment and violence.

In North Carolina, a new bill has already been introduced that would ban treatment for any trans person under the age of 21 and require state employees to notify parents in writing if their child displays any gender-nonconforming traits. This means that legal adults might be unwillingly outed to unsupportive families if a stranger suspects they might be queer, in an attempt to “protect” them from accessing services, coming out of the closet, or transitioning.

For many trans people, this will come as no surprise: When actor Elliot Page came out as transmasculine at age 34, a flood of op-eds appeared treating him as if he were an impulsive teenage girl incapable of making his own decisions. The conversation around who is “mature” enough to make decisions about their bodies seems to have no end. First they say trans children should wait until 18, then 21, and then even adults in their 30s are deemed incompetent to direct their own care. This is the same kind of reasoning used to deny cisgender women agency over their reproductive choices.

Using misinformation to poison the well of public opinion is a mainstay of both the anti-trans and anti-choices movements. The anti-trans movement employs tactics similar in attacking trans rights to those used by the anti-choice movement to chip away at abortion access, and by extension Roe v. Wade. Much like the bills targeting transition care and trans-affirmative support for children, conservatives pushed bans on “partial birth” abortion—a misleading political term referring with no precise medical definition. Both the “partial birth” abortion bans and bills to deny transition care effectively leave the courts to determine which procedures are legal, based on confusing and inaccurate descriptions crafted by legislators, not doctors.

Read the whole article...

The current slate of laws is shocking due to the sheer number of proposed bills, but while they are cruel, they’re also limited in scope. This is only the first step, and it’s still possible for trans activists and allies to push back before they become established precedent. Activists are engaging in efforts to convince lawmakers not to pass these bills and combat misinformation among the general public. But if these bills pass successfully and are not overturned in court, they will continue to shift the goalposts until it is no longer safe for any trans people to exist in public, regardless of their age.

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Gingham - Not Just For The Picnic (part 2)

Gingham seems to be back for this summer.  I have recently seen some cute outfits designed  around gingham and this year it seems to have gone past the just pants. I got Gingham pants from Talbots last season and they are back in stock this year. See Talbots Chatham Crops - Gingham.  The pants shown above are Boston Proper's Gingham Ankle Pant.

The top shown above is also Boston Proper's Puff-Sleeve Ponte Square-Neck Top. The puff sleeve top is a definite feminine differential. I love it. 

Completing the gingham look is the adorable BCBG pump Gingham Bow Heel again from Boston Proper (3.75 heel). This is so tempting. There is the tantalizing description:

With a twist on classics, gingham and bows go modern and sexy. This statement heel adds fresh style to your look with irresistible feminine charm and versatility to wear with everything from casual shorts to a date night dress.

Remember - Gingham not just for Picnics  See my part one - Gingham - Not Just For The Picnic.  Because of all the cute outfits -  "I love being a girl!" 

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

I Love A Success Story - Jamie Bruesehoff

See my Success Story on Rebekah Bruesehoff (13 Years Old)

My Comment: You do not have to look far past the successes of transgender children/teens to find a supportive parent.  That is the case for Rebekah and her beautiful daughter Rebekah.  What a wonderful supportive mom. 

Jamie Bruesehoff 

From Jamie's Blog:

 Jamie Bruesehoff (she/her) is an award-winning writer, speaker, and advocate. She is an openly queer woman married to a Lutheran pastor and mom to three spirited children, including a twelve year old transgender daughter. She is passionate about sharing her family’s story, because she believes our stories are bridges to understanding, compassion, and celebration.

Jamie advocates for LGBTQ youth and adults creating opportunities for learning and conversation in schools, churches, workplaces, and beyond. Whether it’s in front of ten people or more than thirty thousand, Jamie shares her experience in a way that touches hearts, changes minds, and inspires positive change. She works for legislative change in her home state of New Jersey and on a federal level, as a member of National Center for Transgender Equality’s Families for Trans Equality. 

Rebekah Bruesehoff

Jamie serves as a curator for parents in New Jersey and across the country, connecting them to resources, walking with them on their journeys with gender expansive children of all ages, and empowering them to share their stories. She’s a founder and administrator of New Jersey’s Parents of Transgender Children online community. Her work has been featured by media outlets and organizations around the world, including but not limited to Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, LGBTQ Nation, the Human Rights Campaign, Good Day Philadelphia, PinkNews, and Good Morning Britain.

Jamie graduated Magna Cum Laude from Gettysburg College with a Bachelors of Arts in Religion. She went on to receive her Masters of Arts in Religion with a concentration in Theology for Outdoor Ministry from the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg. In her free time, you can find her playing in the woods and climbing mountains with her family.  

Jamie is available as a resource for you, your school, business, non-profit, or faith community. She consults on best practices, provides resources and workshops, and speaks at events of all kinds. If you are interested in working with Jamie or having her speak at your event, please fill out the contact form.  


Rebekah recently was honored to join the Marvel Universe as a part of Marvel’s Hero Project. While she believes all transgender kids are superheros, she’s honored to represent them as The Mighty Rebekah. Marvel Hero Project starts streaming on Disney+ November 12

Monday, April 26, 2021

Kelloggs' “Pride” Cereal

Kelloggs launches heart-shaped rainbow “Pride” cereal covered in edible glitter

Thanks Velma for send this along

Kellogg’s has a new cereal just in time for Pride Month.

“Together with Pride” is coming to stores in May and will have rainbow-colored cereal hearts in the colors of the rainbow flag. And they’ll be covered in edible glitter.

Related: Converse drops Pride sneaker line for 2019 & this time it includes trans flag shoes

The mascots of various Kellogg’s cereal brands – like Tony the Tiger and Toucan Sam – appear on the box because they’re “Together with Pride.”

Longtime readers of LGBTQ Nation will remember that Kellogg’s had another cereal by a similar name for Pride in 2019. “All Together” was a big box that contained smaller boxes of Corn Flakes, Froot Loops, Frosted Flakes, Frosted Mini Wheats, Raisin Bran, and Rice Krispies.

They were “All Together”… just like the L, G, B, T, and Q and allies are all together.

But that cereal cost $19.99 and was only available online. This time, the cereal will actually be in some major chain grocery stores and cost a more accessible $3.99 for a 7.8-ounce box.

For every box purchased, Kellogg’s is donating $3 to the LGBTQ organization GLAAD, if customers upload their receipt to their website.

My comment:  I think it is GREEEEEEEEEEET!

Saturday, April 24, 2021

Be That Girl...



Dedicated to the woman who is a wife, mom, sister, and daughter. The woman who is your best friend and who works hard as a business owner and is not afraid to dream. 

Ros Alainn is a lifestyle blog for the woman who never backs down. Who takes life by the handlebars and lets the wind drown out the noise. 

Inspiring, Motivating and Celebrating!

Friday, April 23, 2021

Puberty Blocker Saved My Life - Nicole Talbot

 “Without the medical care I received and the relentless support of my mother, I would likely not be here today.”

By :  Nicole Talbot

 Nicole Talbot

Six years ago, I had a puberty blocker implanted in my left arm to pause the release of testosterone. It saved my life. I’m here today to write this story as a transgender woman and to sing as a soprano pursuing a Bachelor of Arts degree in musical theater at Boston Conservatory. Without the medical care I received and the relentless support of my mother, I would likely not be here for either.

There are a bunch of bills being proposed across the country that, if passed, will make it a felony for medical professionals to provide gender-affirming care to transgender youth and will open parents to charges of child abuse. These bills are misguided at best. At worst, they’re an attack on transgender children and their families to fire up a base of hateful voters in advance of the 2022 elections.

It’s easy for some to see stories about transgender youth and come to conclusions about what is right and wrong for a child and what qualifies as good or bad parenting. Unless you are transgender or have walked beside someone who is transgender, you have no idea what’s required of your heart, your mind, your family and friends, or your livelihood to keep them alive, help them thrive and fight hate and discrimination every day. It is a complex, expensive web of choices and decisions. But the truth is, it’s hard to hate transgender youth or their parents when you look and listen closely with an open heart and mind.

Even from my early toddler days, I wanted the clothes and the toys that were traditionally thought of as being for girls. My trains didn’t crash. They had tea parties. I wore a towel over my head to create long hair. Mulan, a girl pretending to be a boy, was my favorite Disney character.

My mom forced me to play on the boy’s T-ball and soccer teams. She made me wear boy’s clothes. She bought me animal Halloween costumes instead of letting me be a princess. I was just me trying to be me in a world that didn’t understand.

Little by little, my mom started to allow me to have the toys and clothes I wanted, but only inside our home. My favorite pair of pink flip-flops couldn’t be worn outside. My dolls stayed hidden in my bedroom closet. The sparkly top I got at a consignment shop never made it past the front door, no matter how hard I tried to make it to the car. We dressed for the red carpet at home to watch the Tonys, Grammys, Golden Globes and Oscars, but no one else could know.

Although my mom thought she was protecting me from a world that was cruel, she was teaching me to hide my true self from the world. But I didn’t hide. I soared. And so did my mom. She signed me up for a local theater program and that’s where I found my voice ― onstage and in the world. Year after year, I performed in musicals, concerts and cabarets. I took voice lessons. I traveled to New York City for auditions. My voice and the stage saved me and helped me escape the world that didn’t understand me.

Meanwhile, my mom was realizing she had no idea how to be the best parent for me. She pored over research and books. She reached out to my pediatrician to find answers. Then, she took me to a leading psychologist in Boston who conducted a neuropsychological and gender assessment, which revealed the truth I had known all along: I’m a girl.

Read more

Fight these bills. Stand up for transgender youth and their families. See and learn from a new lens, and most of all, let medical professionals and families save children’s lives with the same treatment that saved mine - Nicole Talbot


Nicole Talbot is a 19-year-old transgender woman and freshman at Boston Conservatory pursuing a Bachelor of Arts in musical theater. She is a Human Rights Campaign Youth Ambassador and a founding Champion of the GenderCool Project. She was an integral part of the 2015 and 2018 campaigns in Massachusetts to pass and defend legislation prohibiting discrimination against transgender people in public accommodations. In 2020, she was named the first recipient of the Trans Club of New England’s Trans Community Visionary Award. Assigned male at birth, Nicole transitioned to living authentically as female in 2015 with the support of her mother, other family members, friends and her communities. She shares her story and lends her voice, time and talent to support other transgender youth on their journey to living authentically. For more from Nicole, head to www.nicoletalbotofficial.com.

Thursday, April 22, 2021

How To Grow Out Gray Hair


Embrace your natural locks with these helpful tips.

If you haven't made a visit to the hair salon in a long time (thanks a lot, COVID-19), we can bet you're probably starting to see a few grays peeking out from those roots. Over the last year, lots of women have forgone their regular hair dye appointments and have instead tried growing out their gray hair at home. Below, you'll find two top stylists share their best tips on growing out gray hair flawlessly. 

My comment:  If you have hair left, go for a natural look.  If you have thin spots, maybe hair extensions or have you ever considered a natural (age appropriate) wig. How many 75 year old redheads do you know?  (Red was my color of choice when I wore a wig).  

Good luck...


Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Why We Deserve Better Trained And Educated Law Enforcement

Content Warning: This describes a negative outing highlighting local police incompetence / bias. This was written last summer at the peak of glaring instances of police injustice. I wish things had improved. The event of note occurred about ten years ago.  

White male privilege is a reality. If you do not believe me, give it up for an hour, a day, a job.  I have been on job interviews where I was likely the most qualified candidate and the least young/prettiest female in the room.  What do you think happened?  Bias is ever-present. 

Local Policing
America is going through a convulsion and reality lesson on how systemic, racially motivated law-enforcement profiling has come full circle. The militarization of policing after 911 has created an “us-vs-them” attitude that endangers. Look different or be in a place that is outside “normal”, then a supposition of wrongdoing / guilt is inferred.   

Minorities have known for years that the “driving-while-black” traffic stop was inevitable if your vehicle is new/luxury.  Minority parents are required, out of fear for their children's safety, to have “the conversation” thus educating on the reality of surviving a law enforcement encounters. 

Fact - We are all one profile or “mistaken identity” away from a life-changing disaster. Understand this!  Meaningful law enforcement reform is needed.   


I have hesitated for years on telling the story that will follow for two reasons. One: Remembering the incident triggers a visceral 
PTSD response. Two: It may cause undue trepidation. I tell this story now only to help emphasize what minorities and women, in general, know instinctively. Understand - White male privilege does not provide total immunity when you present outside of your privilege. 

About ten years ago I was volunteering several days a month at a local, small non-profit.  It was a worthwhile endeavor that collected financial donations and supplies for remote Central American schools. The non-profit built and ran several schools that taught the basics to indigenous people in remote villages of Guatemala. The donation that came in went directly to the intended population. I was very proud to help with the donor database and accounting.  

Another volunteer occasionally came in to help with mailings and we would talk and interact.  Out of the blue one day she asked if I was from Canada?  Although I have not lived in Southern Virginia for over 40 years, a few words that were characteristic from my childhood home lingered; “house”, about”, and “out”. This was not the first time I had been asked, so I explained this incongruity; "no, I am not from Canada" and stated it is a regional southern accent.  

Based on the 
TV show that she has recently seen, "America’s Most Wanted” (in this case showcasing Canada's Most Wanted) she suspected I was a male Canadian fugitive in hiding. She called the police. My local police contacted the Canadian RCMP and they explained they believed the suspect had died years earlier. However, being that this was still an unsolved case, the RCMP did share some vital information. The suspect was 6 foot - 2 inches, heavy build, bald, very hairy body, chain smoker, worked minimal day jobs, and was a loner. For the record, I am 5’  4”, a full head of hair, minimal body hair, and gregarious. Also, I have never smoked. And, I had lived in Florida for 40 years (only 2 addresses), owned a business, and during the period in question, I was married with four young children (three born in Virginia and one in Florida); all of which was public record. Not exactly living the on-the-run, fugitive lifestyle.   

Still undeterred by the thought process, the Jupiter Police Department (JPD) put me under 24-hour surveillance and went to a judge for an arrest warrant. The judge told the police that their case was weak and would provide only a limited search warrant “obtaining fingerprints” to be used in comparison to the Canadian fugitive.   

Several days later, actually on my birthday, while driving to another volunteer job, I saw blue lights in my rear-view. Thinking I must have done something wrong, I slowed and pull over. As I pulled over there was not just one police car with blue lights but three. Another two unmarked cars blocked my front and driver’s side. There were officers with guns drawn approaching both sides of my car from the rear.  Was I going that fast? 

Getting out of the unmarked cars were three other plain-clothes offices with guns drawn.  Never in my life had I been so scared and been in the presence of so many guns. I was told to exit my car with hands above my head and then stand with my back against one of the police cars.  I was told by a detective that my “assistance was needed” and I was going to be driven to the local police (JPD) station. I felt very ill and was near collapse. Ask if I was OK, I answered “NO”. No one cared. After that, I said very little. 

FYI - This day I was in complete male attire.

I was not told anything else at this point, nor read any rights and was placed in the back seat of one of the unmarked police vehicles. I was caged in and there were no door handles.  After about a 5 minute drive to the JPD, I was taken out of the car and escorted by 4 offices into the holding-arrest area. Two cells with bars were to my right.  Also as I entered the building, I noticed several television news trucks were setting up in the parking lot. 

I asked if I needed an attorney and wanted to know what was happening? I was told that I was being compelled to provide my fingerprints and an attorney at this point would not change anything. I complied and was scared. I was not placed in a holding cell and after providing my prints was shown a bench where I could sit.  It was either sit or fall. My wallet, cell phone and keys were taken. 

About 30 minutes went by and no further information was provided unit I was instructed that a full hand-print was also needed and I was re-inked to provide that. The detective came out after another 30 minutes (seemed like hours) and proceeded to recount the horrific acts that a Canadian fugitive had perpetrated on a child. He seemed angry and agitated. After that recitation, I was told that I was not a suspect.  After briefly justifying their actions of the morning, I was told that my fingerprints were not a match and I was free to go. Mistaken identity” was the explanation and I was driven back to my car.  No apology was provided. As I was put back into a patrol car, I noticed that the TV trucks were packing up.  

It took more than 24 hours for the sick stomach and shaking to stop. Weeks passed before I know the full why/what of the event and came to know about the"America's Most Wanted" connection. After a long and exhausting meeting with the Jupiter Police Chief and lead detectives, I was told – “What did you expect – you were wearing a dress”.  I stood and walked out of the meeting before saying something I would regret later. I could tell one of the steroid-enhanced officers/detectives was about to come across the table.  I felt intimidated and in danger for questioning their actions.
It is my understanding that the judge's records and the police request are sealed and not even I can have access. I was provided a sanitized copy of the warrant after much persistence.     

Writing and reliving this is difficult. I have wondered many times how this interaction could have escalated and with police justification, could have gone wrong in so many ways.  

Police must be constantly overseen. A runaway law-and-order zealot can do much harm and fully justify their actions.  Please be sympathetic to what is occurring around our country today. Know that we are all one mistaken identity or police encounter gone-bad away from losing all that we hold sacred or even our life. 

I stand with those who seek 
de-militarization of the police. I favor better trained / screened police officers and police reform. Racist, untrained, uneducated, intolerant, bias and homophobic police offices have no place in today's law enforcement.  After today, maybe we have a start on that road.      

As always, your comments and rebuttal are welcome.

Tuesday, April 20, 2021

Should I Feel Ashamed of My Feminine Qualities?

I am a big fan of Quora. Recently I frond this question:

Should I feel ashamed for being a straight male with feminine qualities?

My Comment: So many times being transgender has complected my life and especially relationships. Have I ever wished it gone? Of course. We all have. However, being transgender is such an intrinsic part of me that without it, I would be different; not me. The above question made me examine my internal feelings.

In no way am I ashamed. I wear being transgender (pun intended) with pride. In the past I likened my ESCAPES to visits to the land of femininity with hopes of becoming a permanent resident. Today, I am nearly a full time resident, mistaken by most as a native. For this I am exceedingly proud.

Read below Julia Reese eloquent response to the Quora question. It expresses so much of my true feelings as well:


Ashamed? NO WAY.

You should be proud and confident in yourself.

One of the greatest quests in the Hero’s Journey is to get in touch with your true nature not to hide or suppress it!

This may become one of the greatest success stories of your entire life
expressing a side of you that very few men are even willing to consider - their feminine side.

Being true to yourself will not only boost your confidence, but when your inner identity matches your outward expression of those qualities, you are closer to Self-Actualization that anyone who puts on a false mask in public is.

People will admire you more because you aren’t keeping who are a secret from the world and the people who know you will be proud to have you as a friend.

If anything, I would encourage you to express your feminine qualities in your everyday life. People will smile in your direction when they see you in public, and best of all, you’ll be smiling at yourself too.

Nurture those feminine qualities and cherish them - they’re some of your greatest strengths.


Monday, April 19, 2021

Can A Man Wear Women’s Clothing? Daaah!


Yeah – you read that right…

Can men wear women's clothing? 

Now before you jump to conclusions… Hear me out. 

No – I'm not talking about cross dressing. I'm talking about pieces designed for women… that can actually look great on men too… AND are functional.

Wearing what the ladies wear often…  …does NOT always mean cross-dressing. Some things are unisex (or have a men’s equivalent)… So take note of these 7 women’s items that MEN CAN WEAR (which you may want to use yourself).


#1 Can Men Wear A Woman's Purse?

#2 Can Men Wear Heels?

#3 Can Men Wear Women's Flip Flops?

#4 Can Men Wear Makeup?

#5 Can Men Wear Women's Coats?

#6 Can Men Wear Women's Scarves?

#7 Can Men Wear Women's Sunglasses?

Saturday, April 17, 2021

Friday, April 16, 2021

Feminine Differential - Wedge Sandals


I have fallen in love with my "FLOJOS" wedge sandals.  Above are the three pair I own; Flojos Women's Billie Flip-Flop Flojos Women's Hayley Flip-FlopFLOJOS Women's Fiesta Flip-Flop.  

First, the are comfortable, second feminine and easily available on Amazon at reasonable prices.  The lower pair is flat with no heel (wedge) and perfect for walks over to the beach. The wedge heels are great for entertaining and even works for walks with shorts or a skirt.  Some would even say dressy.  I say comfortable! 


Here are some "The Basics of Wearing Wedge Sandals" from the Flojos site:

Are you wanting to wear wedges but you’re not sure how to wear them? Are you afraid you can’t rock them in all sorts of styles? Think again! Wedges range in all different styles with sandal wedges being most comfortable.

In this article, you’ll learn how to wear wedges for any occasion and what they look best with. Read on to learn how to wear wedges with pretty much any style you can think of so you can rock some heel and be fashionable but also comfortable.

What Is a Wedge Heel

Before learning about wedge style, it’s important to understand what exactly wedge heels are. Did you know wedges have been around since the 1930s? On many high-heeled shoes, the heel of the shoe is under the heel of the foot. With wedges, the heel runs under the entire foot to the middle or front.

Height ranges vary depending on the type of wedge you’re going for whether sandal, heels, or boots, and the style from a slight raise to several inches.

Picking out Wedges

Height: When you’re picking out wedges, you’ll want to consider the height and how often you think you’ll wear them or for what occasions. Thankfully, wedges are more comfortable than regular heels so if you’re not afraid of a little height, go for higher wedges.

If you’re thinking about a more casual wedge for tees and shorts weather, you’ll want to go with 1-2″ wedges. If you’re looking for a bit higher than casual but not extreme, consider 2-2 1/2″ wedges. This will give you some length and make your legs look taller as well.

Jess — Women’s Wedge Sandals

Going with 2-2 1/2″ heels, they’re extremely versatile, you can wear them out for a walk or out for dinner. For more dressy events, you can go with 3-4″ heels. You might not want these heels for casual wear since they can be a bit more uncomfortable than the lower heel choices.

For extra special occasions and looking your best, think about going higher than 4″ heels.

Style: The style of the wedge is entirely up to you, but if you want one you can wear often go with neutral colors like browns, greys, blacks, and whites. Choosing a bold color is entirely up to you, just know it’ll draw more attention to your legs and feet.

Some wedge styles are closed pump foot, peep toe, and espadrilles.

As far as a slim or chunky heel, that’s totally up to you but keep in mind that chunky heels tend to look better with thicker thighs, and a slimmer heel looks best with slimmer legs.

A Wedge for Every Occasion

You can wear wedge heel sandals for pretty much every occasion from office wear to a wedding, there’s a wedge out there for you. For work, you’ll want to go with wedge pumps instead of heels unless you have more of an easygoing work environment.

For weddings, you can rock wedge sandals, with pastels and whites being the best color choice to match the style and colors of weddings.

When you’re dressing for any occasion you want your shoes to never overwhelm you or your outfit since it’s all about balance.

Best Styles for Wedges

When you’re picking out your outfit for your wedges, they’re certain outfits they go better with than others.

They go great with:

  • Shorts
  • Short skirts
  • Bohemian styles
  • Maxi skirts
  • Jumpsuits
  • Wrap dresses
  • Wide or flared pants or jeans
  • Thin fabrics

As you can see wedges are extremely versatile, but you’ll want to be careful when wearing:

  • Pants with narrow or straight legs
  • Capris
  • Pencil skirts

After reading this article, you should have a good idea of selecting some wedges and how to wear them. When you keep in mind that balance is key, wedges are super versatile and work with nearly any outfit imaginable.

Would you like to learn more about everything about sandals, from sandal care to cute trending sandals for 2019? Check out our (Flojos) blog.

Thursday, April 15, 2021

Hannah Gadsby: Nanette

Behind every joke, there is a story. Hannah Gadsby’s award winning “Nanette” comes to Netflix

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Spring On My Mind - Cute Skirt

One of my favorite mall and on-line stores is Talbots. It seem to fit my lifestyle and has cute outfits that ere easy to match up and wear. Over the last few spring seasons, I have likely purchased multiple skirts from Talbots.   

There always seems to be some sale and it is easy to go to the store (many malls have Talbots) to check the quality and fabric. This skirt "COTTON CANVAS SKIRT - WATERCOLOR VASES" was on sale a few weeks ago and available still on-line and in the store.  

The cotton top show, also the Talbots' "CLASSIC COTTON SHIRT - STRIATED DENIM", seem a natural spring look. However, most any white 3/4 sleeve sweater or "T" would look great with the skirt.  What a classic spring look!

Shoes can be casual sandals or dressy heels.   


Tuesday, April 13, 2021

I Love A Success Story - I Think?

 Caitlyn Jenner Moves Closer to California Recall Rrun

Caitlyn Jenner


04/08/2021 12:33 PM EDT

Transgender rights activist and reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner and her political advisers are gathering at her Malibu home next week to discuss her potential candidacy in the upcoming California gubernatorial recall election.

The meeting comes as Jenner, a 71-year-old Olympic gold-medal decathlete and Republican activist who for years appeared on “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” explores whether to enter the race. After batting down rumors earlier this year that she was open to running, Jenner has been taking more concrete steps to prepare for a potential campaign than have been previously reported.

Jenner has brought aboard a team of seasoned GOP strategists. The team includes Ryan Erwin, a former top official at the California Republican Party who had roles on Mitt Romney and Jeb Bush’s presidential campaigns, who is serving as a general consultant. According to two people familiar with the hires, she has also tapped Harmeet Dhillon, a Republican national committeewoman and San Francisco-based attorney, to be general counsel.

Jenner has also been working with Caroline Wren, a longtime Republican fundraiser, and Brad Parscale, a former campaign manager to ex-President Donald Trump.


Word of Jenner’s potential candidacy has divided top California Republicans — with some dismissing it as a celebrity-driven stunt, and others arguing that she would be a strong candidate who could appeal to voters of both parties.

Former Rep. Mimi Walters (R-Calif.) contended that Jenner would be a force given her high profile. In a short race that will transpire over only a few months, Walters argued, familiarity matters. said Walters:

If Caitlyn Jenner decides to run for California governor in the recall election, I think she would be a very formidable candidate.

“She has a name and a following,” Dave Gilliard, a veteran California-based GOP strategist said of Jenner, “so she should be taken seriously.”

Read the whole article at POLITICO.


I honestly do not know what to make of this.   There is no one more polarizing in our community than Jenner.  Still a staunch Republican while that party does everything it can to denigrate our community and take away our rights. Is this a success story? Can anything good come of this? Your thoughts please.  


Saturday, April 10, 2021

Friday, April 9, 2021

The Year To Target Trans Kids

For Republicans, 2021 Is The Year To Target Trans Kids

Dozens of states have introduced bills to limit medical care to transgender youth or keep trans kids from playing on school sports teams.

From Hufffpost

By: Nick Visser Senior Reporter

Republican-controlled legislatures across the country have introduced dozens of bills targeting transgender youth, building on conservative dog whistles and putting some of the country’s most vulnerable at risk, human rights groups say.

The bills fall into two main categories: At least 17 states are considering laws that would limit access to health care for young transgender Americans, and 28 more have bills excluding trans kids from school sports, according to a tally by the American Civil Liberties Union. 

So far, the effort is working. Bills prohibiting children from playing on sports teams in line with their gender identity have already been passed in Arkansas, Mississippi and Tennessee — and other measures are moving forward as well.

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem (R) went so far as to say she was “excited” when such a bill passed in her state. She later declined to sign it, saying she was worried about legal challenges, and instead issued a pair of executive orders she said would “protect” sports teams this week.

“Only girls should play girls’ sports,” Noem said Monday.

The push to roll back freedoms for transgender kids amounts to a dramatic uptick in exclusionary legislation by GOP lawmakers that builds on the far-right push to establish anti-trans bathroom laws, human rights groups say. 

“We are truly witnessing an escalation of attacks on trans people, unlike anything I’ve ever seen in government,” Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU, told Democracy Now. “I think what we’re seeing today in state legislatures is a particular effort to pivot from the anti-trans restroom bills into a new form of regulation of trans young people and trans bodies.”

The ACLU has pledged to file suit against such bills, and a judge overturned legislation in Idaho last year that sought to exclude transgender girls from girls sports teams. But studies show that a vast majority of trans youth feel unsafe at home and at school, Strangio said, and ongoing efforts will only contribute to that. 

President Joe Biden has moved quickly to undo some of the Trump administration’s efforts to exclude transgender people from everyday life, including lifting a ban on trans service members in the military on Wednesday. But efforts to target young trans people have multiplied this year. Republicans have often worked in conjunction with religious conservative groups to repackage anti-trans legislation and use it toward their larger fight against political correctness, The New York Times notes.

This bevy of legislation relies heavily on misinformation and negative tropes about transgender people, and flies in the face of medical advice.

After the Arkansas legislature overwhelmingly passed a harmful bill that would prohibit doctors from providing medically necessary treatment to trans youth, the president of the American Academy of Pediatrics said it was a “dangerous” attempt to politicize medicine.

“This is discrimination by legislation and transgender children and all children deserve better,” Dr. Lee Beers said. “It puts politicians rather than pediatricians in charge of a child’s medical care.”

The Arkansas bill, titled the Save Adolescents From Experimentation, or SAFE, Act, leans heavily on conservative dog whistles about transgender people. LGBTQ rights groups have called on the state’s Republican governor, Asa Hutchinson, to veto it. Hutchinson has not said whether he supports the bill, but he signed the bill prohibiting transgender girls from competing on sports teams last week.

The National Center for Transgender Equality said the Arkansas legislature’s decision was putting young people at risk. 

“They would deny them live-saving, appropriate health care not because it’s good public policy but because politicians believe that it will bring them more power,” said Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen, deputy executive director for the group. “We need to remember that these are children. All children deserve to have access to the support and health care they need to live happy and healthy lives.”


My Comment:- Shame on you! Preventing children from getting at the minimum counseling and help.  What kind of monster denies children readily available medical support.