Tuesday, April 20, 2021

Should I Feel Ashamed of My Feminine Qualities?

I am a big fan of Quora. Recently I frond this question:

Should I feel ashamed for being a straight male with feminine qualities?

My Comment: So many times being transgender has complected my life and especially relationships. Have I ever wished it gone? Of course. We all have. However, being transgender is such an intrinsic part of me that without it, I would be different; not me. The above question made me examine my internal feelings.

In no way am I ashamed. I wear being transgender (pun intended) with pride. In the past I likened my ESCAPES to visits to the land of femininity with hopes of becoming a permanent resident. Today, I am nearly a full time resident, mistaken by most as a native. For this I am exceedingly proud.

Read below Julia Reese eloquent response to the Quora question. It expresses so much of my true feelings as well:


Ashamed? NO WAY.

You should be proud and confident in yourself.

One of the greatest quests in the Hero’s Journey is to get in touch with your true nature not to hide or suppress it!

This may become one of the greatest success stories of your entire life
expressing a side of you that very few men are even willing to consider - their feminine side.

Being true to yourself will not only boost your confidence, but when your inner identity matches your outward expression of those qualities, you are closer to Self-Actualization that anyone who puts on a false mask in public is.

People will admire you more because you aren’t keeping who are a secret from the world and the people who know you will be proud to have you as a friend.

If anything, I would encourage you to express your feminine qualities in your everyday life. People will smile in your direction when they see you in public, and best of all, you’ll be smiling at yourself too.

Nurture those feminine qualities and cherish them - they’re some of your greatest strengths.


1 comment:

    by Velma
    When should you feel shame?
    ONLY when you have done something SHAMEFUL! Minor transgressions are not considered as deserving of feeling the burn of shame.
    Most of what you may be feeling is the effects of TOXIC SHAME, which is essentially a social control mechanism for controlling others.
    Most of us were raised and churched and schooled in an environment of controlling TOXIC SHAME.
    This results in you, the sufferer, living a life of SHAME BASED BEHAVIOR. Essentially the sufferer of SBB is constantly examining their own self and behavior to mitigate what you would imagine to be an impending attack of TOXIC SELF SHAME.
    This entire dynamic was explored by a former suffer, John Bradshaw and has written a number of books.
    If you have a problem of managing your core feelings as well as dealing with yourself as a 'gender outsider', I recommend you read his book: "Healing The Shame That Binds You".


    Suffers no more!