Thursday, September 30, 2021

TEAL - The Magic Color!


Boston Proper's fall collection - SLOUCHY SWEATER

Beauty Control,  a cosmetic company that I worked with, taught me color analysis.  Color analysis was part of our cosmetic sales presentation and I learned that there was ONE color that will suit absolutely everyone with autumn coloring (and other season as well). 

If your coloring is "Warm", "Deep" and "Soft", then TEAL is your Magic Color. I've never met a single autumn complexion which doesn't respond favorably to TEAL. If you hair has red undertones, or white like my hair, it is a stunning color for you.

A stunning combination of blue and green, teal is seen in both fall and spring fashions and works well with everything from understated neutrals to bold brights. 

According to Style Yourself With Confidence:

Teal is probably shown at it's best with the spice tones of cinnamon and saffron, and rich warm shades of orange, rust and mahogany through to a deep and rich tomato red. But it's extremely elegant when paired with the simplicity of light beige. 

The above feminine differential sweater is from Boston Proper's fall collection - SLOUCHY SWEATER.  I pared it with jeans simply because they have become my go to look for errands and the mall. To dress up this look, just add heels and the higher you go, the more attention you will get.  See my "How to Wear Jeans with Heels". 

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Troye Sivan - Musical Interlude

Troye Sivan at the MET Gala 2021

 Troye Sivan is a new kind of Pop Star:
Queer and used to it.

The singer is climbing the charts while demonstrating how his sexual orientation is both part of his art and beside the point. 
(NY Times) 

Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Time To Take the 'T' Out of LGBT

By: Nicola Jane Chase, transgendered woman

From Cleveland.com

It has taken time, but now the public has more appreciation for what the T in LGBT stands for. They may still have some way to go in understanding what it actually means to be transgender, however considerable progress has been made. We can partly thank Caitlyn Jenner for expanding that conversation and allowing the T to be equally relevant in the line up of letters. Yet I would argue that the T doesn't belong there at all.

The L, G and B are about sexual identity; the T is about gender. Lumping the four initials together only enhances the misperception that they are interchangeable terms. They are not.

I am a transgender woman. In my 40s I stated recognizing feminine feelings that I couldn't ignore--but I was still attracted to women. I was questioning my gender yet my sexuality remained unchanged. Only later in my transition did my sexuality change in tandem with my gender--like orbiting planets that never meet. However the sexuality of transgender people (which may or not change) is the most irrelevant factor in our transitions. We are not coming to terms with being attracted to same sex or different sex people, it is the correctness of our assigned gender that we are figuring out.

Of course I admire and respect lesbian and gay campaigners over the years who have laid the groundwork for the level of acceptance that there is now, but I am neither gay nor lesbian. I am a straight woman--with a past.

As part of an often discriminated against sector of society, there is solace, appeal, and leverage in being part of a group. Not, however, if the alignment blurs the picture. I would gladly be part of an "I hate kale" group (very easily in fact), though I wouldn't be comfortable in an "I hate fruits and vegetable"' conglomerate if that was the only other option.

Does it matter? Perhaps the route to self-acceptance is relevant. I accepted the unexpected truth about myself, transitioned, and now live my life as the woman I am. In that respect, I am complete, done. I appreciate that I will always be a transgender woman but that's no reason to wave a flag about it to remind me of my gender past. It was an anomaly which was corrected; bigger than removing a scar, not as invasive as a bone marrow transplant. My sexuality, meanwhile, is irrelevant.

Unlike Groucho Marx, I am happy to be part of a club that has me as a member. I go to an LGBT health clinic in New York, I advocate LGBT causes, and I visit LGBT-friendly venues, so thus I am part of the LGBT community. I certainly have plenty of gay friends (possibly more than if I were not transgender) and just like those people, I had no choice in being what I am.

Now is the time to clearly separate and differentiate gender and sexuality: transgender understanding can advance better by severing the suffix from LGB. And to be clear, I would be delighted to be part of the TKH community--Transgender Kale Haters.

From Amazon: Nobody anticipated a change from heterosexual man to heterosexual woman—least of all the author herself.

This is a marvelously candid memoir of gender and acceptance; one that breaks down many complex issues, though it is her enchanting British humor that makes them such a joy to read. Inner and outer recognition is uncovered through dating debacles, painful family discussions, and trips to Victoria’s Secret.

Monday, September 27, 2021

Children's TV and Nonbinary Characters

Characters like 'Gonzo-rella' are lighting up children's TV and encouraging self-acceptance

 Gonzo reveals that he was the mysterious princess at the ball!

Earlier this summer, a new princess giddily square-danced onto the scene. They've got blue fur, a nose shaped like a hook and a thing for chickens. They're a Muppet -- one you've probably known for a while.

Their name is Gonzo-rella, the royal alias of Gonzo the Great. The idiosyncratic Muppet is perhaps best known for performing daredevilish stunts gone wrong. But now, Gonzo is the latest gender-diverse character on a children's TV show -- and on a Disney network, no less.

Gonzo tells their friends with newfound confidence:

I don't want you to be upset with me, but I don't want to do things because that's the way they've always been done either, I want to be me."

Read More

Sunday, September 26, 2021

Rhonda's Political Week In Review 9-26-2021

The perfect Met Gala dress for Republicans 

According to CNN:
Covid-19 canceled the Met Gala last year, but it roared back this week as fancifully-dressed celebrities once again dazzled social media at the benefit for the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez "made her Met Gala debut in a long white off-shoulder mermaid gown, with 'Tax The Rich' scribed across the back in massive, flag-red letters," wrote Holly Thomas. "It was explicit, as close as you could come to having a placard at the gala without literally bringing one." It was also controversial. "Donald Trump Jr. led the charge, and Newsmax's Benny Johnson and actor and comedian Michael Rapaport joined in to complain about the apparent hypocrisy of a politician who's targeting the rich showing up to a $35,000-per-ticket event almost exclusively populated by the extremely wealthy and/or famous. They appeared unaware of the fact that, as Ocasio-Cortez pointed out on Instagram, New York City's elected officials are regularly invited to the Met Gala for free," Thomas noted.

Saturday, September 25, 2021

Friday, September 24, 2021

Missing White Woman Syndrome

I am not underplaying the horrific nature of Gabby Petito disappearance and now reported potential murder.  As of last weekend, roughly 50 law enforcement officers from five local agencies and the FBI were searching for Laundrie, Gabby's boyfriend, who has not been seen since September 14. Last week, if the story was not the lead on national news it was second. When the body was found, regularly scheduled TV was preemptive as the police gave a news statement.  

According to CNN: The bias the media shows in favor of covering the stories of White women who go missing is often referred to as "missing White woman" syndrome. Factors like race seem to determine not only a victim's "newsworthiness," but how their disappearances are covered. 

Bee Love Slater Murderer 2019
Burned beyond 
I have daughters and if anything happened to any one of them, I would hope that the full efforts of law enforcement would come to their aid; any father's daughter.  Sadly that is not always the case. 

According to Reuters: In Wyoming, the state where Petito's body was found, only 18% of indigenous female homicide victims get newspaper coverage, compared with 51% for white female and male victims, according to a state report.

Between 2011 and September 2020, more than 400 indigenous women and girls were reported missing in Wyoming, according to the report.  This is not far from where Gabby Petito went missing.  

Here is a crime that occurred about 30 miles from my home that receive minimal local coverage and no national coverage: 

CLEWISTON — Thirty miles from home in a neighborhood near Clewiston, Bee Love Slater’s body was found last week in her burning car. It’s unclear why the 23-year-old transgender woman from Pahokee (FL) was in the Harlem neighborhood south of the Clewiston Golf Course early Sept. 4. All Hendry County sheriff’s authorities have said is that she was “burned beyond recognition” in what they are investigating as a homicide.

According to the Advocate: Violence against trans Americans continues to be rampant, especially against Black women. Four homicides of Black trans women have been reported in the past few days — in Arkansas, Florida, Louisiana, and Texas, while the death of a second woman in Louisiana has not yet been ruled a homicide. There are also reports, so far unconfirmed, of a Black trans woman being killed in Philadelphia. And a Black trans woman was shot in Los Angeles last week and was reported to be in critical condition. There have been at least 20 homicides of trans people in the U.S. in 2020, with most of the victims being Black or Latinx women.

Why should we care?  First, any transgender woman injured/killed is one of us.  It could have been one of us.  Second, by the press and media ignoring a crime perpetrated against someone black, Hispanic or transgender, it devalues our/all lives. 

Where is the outrage? Where are the headlines? Where is the preemptive  disruption of regularly scheduled programming for these women?    

Thursday, September 23, 2021

I Love A Success Story - Kim Petras

On Being a Transgender Musician: 'I Hate the Idea of Using My Identity as a Tool'

Singer Kim Petras partnered with MTV, LogoTV,
 and Trans Lifeline to raise awareness
for a new program for transgender youth

By Stephen Daw 2018

Pop singer-songwriter Kim Petras is the up-and-coming star of the moment. The 25-year-old “Heart to Break” singer has raked in millions of Spotify plays on her songs, along with garnering the undivided attention of a predominantly LGBTQ fan base.

Part of the reason she has gained so much attention from the community is due to her transgender identity. Petras underwent gender confirmation surgery at the age of 16, making her one of the youngest people to undergo the process.

But in a recent interview, Petras said that she doesn’t want people to flock to her due to her identity — she wants them to flock to her for her music. “I just hate the idea of using my identity as a tool,” she told HuffPost. “It made me the person I am and that’s a big part of me, but I think music is about your feelings and your fantasies and it goes deeper than your gender or your sexuality.”

The singer added that she is proud of her identity and wants to bring more visibility to the transgender community, but she has something else that she wants to prove as well. “I think the ultimate goal for me is if a transgender person can be known for anything but being transgender,” she said. “There are still too many people who think being transgender is very freaky. And they think you can’t live a happy life and try to tell their kids not to transition because they’re afraid their life will be harder.”

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Feminine Differential - Espadrille Wedges


J.Crew - Seville espadrille wedges in metallic gold

Wedges are one of the most versatile shoes you can have in your wardrobe, making it an essential fashion staple.

Every now and then you find a shoes that is stylish, comfortable, functional and provides, the ever so important, feminine differential. Most any shoe with a heel (cowboy boots the exception) will provide the feminine deferential but so many times our feet suffer for the style.   

I am a recent convert to wedge shoes having been marooned to avoid the lawn at several outside events. Nothing like that sinking feeling as your stiletto heel vanished into the turf. There are few graceful ways to recover. A good wedge serves the purpose of preventing that and provides much need stability for outside walking on mixed ground; gravel driveways a prime example. 

By definition espadrille are:

Espadrilles are a typical form of Spanish summer footwear. Espadrilles (Spanish: alpargatas; Catalan: espardenyes; Basque: espartinak), are casual, rope-soled, flat, but sometimes high-heeled shoes. They usually have a canvas or cotton fabric upper and a flexible sole made of esparto rope. The esparto rope sole is the defining characteristic of an espadrille; the uppers vary widely in style. The word derives from the Catalan "espardenya", making reference to esparto grass, a plant indigenous to the south of Spain that is used to make ropes and basketry. (Wikipedia) 

The above shoe I got from J.Crew at a terrific price.  Originally $128.00 they were on sale last week for $32.00. I sized down one-half size based on my experience with other J.Crew shoes.  A perfect fit and a shoe I could literally wear for hours at events where standing or dancing would be required. The (3 1/2" - 90mm) wedge heel is just dressy enough to be at home with jeans, shorts or a long flowing summer / fall dress. Stay tuned on the dress.      

Best of all, you won’t feel guilty about having more than one pair of Espadrilles in your shoe closet, since you’ll be able to make full use of them day in and day out; casual to dressy.    

If you are looking for the perfect summer or fall shoes don't rule out the "espadrille wedge". 

Tuesday, September 21, 2021

A Stop at Willoughby

James Daly in "A Stop at Willoughby"

I enjoy being feminine; a trans-feminine person.  There, I have said it.  Maybe a long time verbalizing. However, every time after a fantastic or mundane escape, the peacefulness is there.

What is there to not like? The beautiful clothes, feminine enclaves like salons/boutiques and most relevant - being treated as a fellow sister. I love the way women interact and I feel apart of a society of sisters as we talk / connect.
I am recognized / accepted as being female. I have a social network that is accepting, and I am comfortable in this role. Maybe my version of transition.      

I have compared my expeditions (escapes) into the land of femininity to beautiful flights of freedom. I have been visiting there for well over 40 years. I am still in awe of the costumes, customs, serenity and wonderful environment that the land of femininity provides.  Recently my stays have been more extended.  Even when I reluctantly returned to my natural (born) habitat, I take with me apparel and mannerisms that are foreign to my home territory.  

I am starting to feel less at home when back and long for the return escape. I look in a mirror and see remains of eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick. I blink and the traces are still there. Should I cleanse more or allow these elements to betray my dual citizenship? 

For years I have been torn between two very different worlds. However, now I amaze myself with how effortlessly I maneuver myself while on escape. A happy destination. 

I remember well a Twilight Zone episode from season one; “A Stop at Willoughby”.  A troubled man falls asleep on the train commute home and is drawn into a beautiful dream/place.  

Outside the train window Mr. Williams (I am not making that up) sees a town called Willoughby. He eventually learns that it is July 1888. He learns that this is a "peaceful, restful place, where a man can slow down to a walk and live his life full measure". 

The next week, Williams again dozes off on the train and returns to the Willoughby stop where everything is the same as before. As he is about to get off the train carrying his briefcase, the train begins to roll jolting him back to the present. Williams promises himself to get off at Willoughby next time.  

Once again he falls asleep to find himself in Willoughby. This time, as the conductor warmly beckons him to the door, Williams intentionally leaves his briefcase on the train. Getting off the train, he is greeted by name by various inhabitants who welcome him while he tells them he's glad to be there and plans to stay and join their idyllic life.

In Rod Serling's famous storytelling style, there is a tragic twist. However, the escape to “Willoughby” has remained in my memory for many years. Serling, who wrote this short story, cited this as his favorite story from the first season of the series.

Mr. Serling's closing narration: 

Willoughby? Maybe it's wishful thinking nestled in a hidden part of a man's mind, or maybe it's the last stop in the vast design of things—or perhaps, for a man like Mr. Gart Williams, who climbed on a world that went by too fast, it's a place around the bend where he could jump off. Willoughby? Whatever it is, it comes with sunlight and serenity and is a part of The Twilight Zone.

Am I nearing my Willoughby destination on my trips into the land of femininity?  Shall I get off my duality train and stay - maybe

Monday, September 20, 2021

Welcome Fall - Harvest Moon

 According to the Old Farmers Almanac:

In 2021, the Harvest Moon rises on Monday, September 20! The Moon will appear full for about three days around this time, from Sunday morning through Tuesday morning. Why does this phenomenon happen? Learn more—and shine on, Harvest Moon!

This year, the brilliant Harvest Moon will appear in the evening of Monday, September 20, reaching peak illumination at 7:54 P.M. EDT.

One thing that sets the Harvest Moon apart from other full Moon names is that it’s not associated with a specific month, as the others are. Instead, the Harvest Moon relates to the timing of the autumnal equinox (September 22, 2021), with the full Moon that occurs nearest to the equinox being the one to take on the name “Harvest Moon.” This means that the Harvest Moon can occur in either September or October, depending on how the lunar cycle lines up with the Gregorian calendar.

The Harvest Moon does typically occur in September, taking the place of the full Corn Moon. However, it occasionally lands in October instead, replacing the full Hunter’s Moon.


There are many traditions from around the world associates with the Harvest Moon.  If interested the Almanac list many.  Tonight I plan on starting my own. I am going to buy a Moon Pie at Cracker Barrel, go to the beach and watch the moon rise.  Sounds like a plan!

Rosemary Clooney - Shine On Harvest Moon (Rosie Solves The Swingin' Riddle!)

Meetup - Juno Beach Fish House

My Saturday Evening Meetup Escape 
The restaurant was about 2 minutes from the 
Beach House.  Great food and conversation. 


Sunday, September 19, 2021

Rhonda's Political Week In Review 9-19-2021


Someone much wiser than I wrote this - Well worth passing on:

I'm vaccinated and, no, I don't know what's in it - neither this vaccine, the ones I had as a child, nor in the Big Mac, or in hot dogs, or in other treatments…whether it's for cancer, AIDS, the one for polyarthritis, or vaccines for infants or children. I trust my doctor when he says it’s needed. 

I also don't know what's in Ibuprofen, Tylenol, or other meds, it just cures my headaches & my pains ...

I don't know what's in the ink for tattoos, vaping, or every ingredient in my soap or shampoo or even deodorants. I don’t know the long term effect of cell phone use or whether or not that restaurant I just ate at REALLY used clean foods and washed their hands. 

In short ...

There's a lot of things I don't know and never will… 

I just know one thing: life is short, very short, and I still want to do something other than just going to work every day or staying locked in my home. I still want to travel and hug people without fear and find a little feeling of life "before".

As a child and as an adult I've been vaccinated for mumps, measles, rubella, polio, chicken pox, and quite a few others; my parents and I trusted the science and never had to suffer through or transmit any of said diseases ... just saying.

You are not vaccinated, I respect your choice,

I am vaccinated, respect my choice ...

I'm vaccinated, not to please the government but:

  •  To not die from Covid-19.
  •  To NOT clutter a hospital bed if I get sick.
  •  To hug my loved ones 
  •  To Not have to do PCR or antigenic tests to go out dancing, go to a restaurant, go on holidays and many more things to come ..
  •  To live my life.
  •  To have my kids/grandkids go back to school and play sports. 
  •  For Covid-19 to be an old memory.
  •  To protect us.

Text copied, you can too.

Saturday, September 18, 2021

Friday, September 17, 2021

This Commercial Will Leave You Speechless...

When You Realize What’s Going On

 A jewelry advertisement has become the talk of the internet – and India – for its groundbreaking theme. The spot features a transgender actress.

The firm specializes in traditional wedding jewelry and the ad includes the tagline “Pure as love.”

While transgender actors and themes in commercials have gained wider acceptance in other countries, Bhima Jewelry’s customer base is in rural India. They say any feared backlash, however, was quickly thrown out the window after the ad went viral and the kudos started to roll in.

The campaign was originally met with “fears and apprehensions” by her colleagues, Navya Rao, the head of the chain’s online marketing, told the BBC.

“All our previous ads had happy heterosexual brides. So we were worried about how people would perceive it and react to it,” she said. “Most of our stores are in rural parts of the state. We were not sure how much exposure people there would have had to these issues.”

Meera said she “was expecting a lot of conflict, especially since the ad shows a Hindu wedding which directly challenges the Hindu hetero-patriarchal system.”

The response, she says, wasn’t what they feared.

“There was some criticism of the ad and we were accused of lending a voice to a cause that’s unnatural and not supposed to exist in society. But our inboxes have been filled with positive messages. Many from the LGBTQI community reached out to us saying the ad had touched their heart,” she said.

22-year-old actress Meera Singhania Rehani, a transgender woman, played the lead role in the spot and admitted she was “very skeptical” when she was first approached.

“I didn’t want someone to appropriate my trans identity for commercial use. I was also nervous since the film involved transition and as a pre-transition person I’m shown as a man with a beard.

“But when I read the story and researched about the director, I said yes. And I’m glad I did. Doing this has also helped me become more comfortable with myself,” she said.

MY Note: Thanks Caitlin for sending the link for this beautiful advertisement.

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Androgynous - Sung by Miley Cyrus, Joan Jett & Laura Jane Grace

 Laura Jane Grace Navigates “Living a Double Life” in New Audio Memoir

It’s hard to imagine punk rocker Laura Jane Grace as anything other than a transgender icon, but there was a time when she didn’t even know what to call herself.

When Grace rose to fame in the 2000s as the lead singer and founder of Against Me!, she was closeted and navigating gender dysphoria privately, although it had begun to seep into her songwriting. She came out publicly in 2012 and later incorporated her experiences into albums like 2014’s Transgender Dysphoria Blues and 2016’s Shape Shift With Me, as well as Tranny: Confessions Of Punk Rock’s Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout, her debut memoir. Almost a decade later, Grace has joined forces with Audible’s Words + Music initiative to reflect on her journey in Black Me Out, her new audio memoir, out today (September 2).

Narrated by Grace herself, Black Me Out blends conventional memoir with stripped-down recordings of the Against Me! songs that soundtracked her transition, including “I Was A Teenage Anarchist,” “Walking Is Still Honest,” and “The Ocean.” (Savvy Against Me! fans will note that the Audible project is named after the closing track from Transgender Dysphoria Blues.)

In an exclusive new clip from Black Me Out, Grace recalls experimenting with “cross-dressing” prior to 2012. This was well after Against Me!’s debut, so Grace feared how being her authentic self would impact the career she’d worked so hard to build. Not to mention, she barely understood what wanting to present as feminine meant.

I thought, ’I’m a cross-dresser,’ or, ’I’m a tranny,’ or — I didn’t fucking know,” she remembers. “’Am I gay?’ I don’t fucking know. But I knew there was something different, something in my head, and I knew that I wasn’t being fucking honest with myself.”

Grace’s rock-’n’-roll lifestyle helped distract her but only for so long. When she could no longer stave off the impulse, Grace allowed herself to toy with her gender presentation in secret after hours at her band’s private rehearsal space in Gainesville, Florida.

The whole experience was tinged with “a little bit of danger,” she recalls: At any given point, one of her band members could have walked in and seen her “in full femme,” outing her before she even had the chance to claim an identity of her own. She’d sometimes go for long drives alone as a way to test her bravery. It was like “living a double life,” but in those moments of solitude, Grace began to find herself.

Laura Jane Grace (born Thomas James Gabel; November 8, 1980) is an American musician best known as the founder, lead singer, songwriter, and guitarist of the punk rock band Against Me!. In addition to Against Me!, Grace fronts the band Laura Jane Grace & The Devouring Mothers, a solo project she started in 2016. Grace is notable for being one of the first highly visible punk rock musicians to come out as transgender, after she publicly came out in May 2012 (Wikipedia) 

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

I Love A Success Story - AJ Clementine

Gender reassignment surgery saved my life': Inside the lives of Australian trans people

For trans woman AJ Clementine, surgeon Andrew Ives is literally a life saver.

The 22-year-old underwent gender reassignment surgery just four months ago after spending 18 months on a wait list.

She insists she wouldn’t have seen her next birthday without it.

Mr Ives is one of only a few reconstructive doctors in Australia who can perform male to female gender reassignment surgery.

“Surgery has saved my life. If I didn’t have this option, I don’t think I would want to continue,” Ms Clementine told 9news.com.au.

Ms Clementine was 18 when she began taking hormone blockers to stop the testosterone from making changes to her body.

“As soon as my GP said I had gender dysphoria when I was 18, it made so much more sense," she said. “I wanted to live like everyone else. I didn’t want to be trans and live like this. I still have stereotypical male features and I’m fine with that.

“Sometimes I forget that I’m trans. I hate the way it sets me back but it only does because of how the world has not completely accepted it yet. I hate that I’m linked to bad stigmas.

Now I feel complete and I'm so lucky to be surrounded by love and acceptance. AJ Clementine


Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Mature Women Shouldn't Be Sexy - Not

Cruise Dress 2019 

Sexiness doesn't have an expiration date. Women and trans-feminine of all ages have a right to enjoy playing with their sexuality / presentation and channeling it through whatever clothes they feel best; whether it be a long, slinky dresses, flirty sequined minis, or high-heels.

 As long as you are happy with your look, that's all that matters. Do not dress doughty to blend in when you can stand out. Be proud - ESCAPE!  

Send me your best sexy photos and tells us where you were when you took it.  Let us all be visible, bold and out.  

Monday, September 13, 2021

Transfeminine - A Person Who Strongly Identifies With Femininity.

 What Does  It Mean to Be Transfeminine?

Sian Ferguson
Written by Sian Ferguson on January 14, 2021

So, what’re the basics?

Transfeminine people are people who were assigned male at birth (AMAB) but identify more with a feminine identity.

Being assigned male at birth means that, when you were born, someone declared you a male based on your genitals. It’s a more respectful alternative to saying that you were “born a man” or “biologically male.”

Transfeminine is often used to refer to:

  • transgender women
  • AMAB nonbinary people who identify with femininity
  • AMAB demigirls (which is someone who partially identifies as a girl, woman, or feminine)
  • AMAB gender-fluid people who identify with femininity, whether it’s all, most, or some of the time
  • other AMAB people who identify with femininity
  • In other words, transfeminine is a broad term that includes a few different groups of people.

Why might someone opt to use this term over others?

“Transfeminine” is a broad term that applies to any AMAB person who identifies with femininity.

The term is helpful because it’s an umbrella term that describes a few different groups of people, including transgender women, feminine nonbinary people, and more.

It can be a helpful term for someone who’s exploring their identity and isn’t sure whether they’re a transgender woman or a nonbinary person who strongly identifies with femininity.

It can also be useful for those who simply identify as feminine but not specifically as a woman.

How do you know if it’s the term for you?

There’s no test to figure out whether you’re transfeminine. The only prerequisite is that you identify as transfeminine. But, of course, it can be difficult to figure out your identity at first.

If you’d like to explore and consider whether or not the term fits you, consider doing the following:

  • Talk to transfeminine people on online forums or groups, or in person, to hear what being transfeminine means to them.
  • Read about the experiences of transfeminine people and ask yourself whether you relate. Bear in mind that everyone’s experience is different.
  • Consider which aspects of your gender expression or identity you consider to be transfeminine.
  • Try the term out by referring to yourself as transfeminine, either out loud or in written words. You don’t need to share this with anyone if you don’t want to. Just try it and see how it feels.
  • Journal about your gender. Sometimes, writing it out helps you understand it better.

This helpful article might help you figure out whether you’re transfeminine. But remember, there’s no “right” way to be transfeminine. If you identify as transfeminine, you are transfeminine.


My Note: I like the way this description feels.  According to Wikipedia:

The label 'trans-feminine' can be considered either a gender identity, a gender expression, or both. 

Something about dressing feminine and being referred to as a feminine person sits right with me. I like being called “she”, "lady", "ma'am", "her".  I like dressing with a feminine differential, or dressing in a dress, putting on make-up, or just being my self in jeans and sandals.    

Friday, September 10, 2021

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Getting Older - Doing It Right

Erika Andersen

In the Forbes article "Getting Older? Here Are 7 Ways To Do It Right", written by Erika Andersen, she gave some wonderful advice.  I have her opening statement below and will leave it up to you to read her 7 suggestions. They are a good starting place. Here is my number 8.  

Number 8

Do what you have always wanted to do. Take a cruise as you true self. Go on a road trip seeing place you have never seen and interaction with civilians dressed in your best outfits. You will be amazed how understanding and open absolute strangers can be. Eat at an elegant restaurantGo shopping. At the same time get a make over and mani-pedi. Have lunch at a side-walk cafe. 

 As  Erika put it:

One of the most powerful ways to craft your later years is to insist on your right to be as joyful, silly, happy, goofy, full of wonder, as enthusiastic and excited as you want to be until the day you die. [Be yourself!]

Escape the person that is dull, boring and complacent. Be remembered for being quirky and happy; a little crazy. Accept your body - Not everyone is a size two or petite. At this age what do you really care what others think. Who do you have to please, other than yourself? Escape - Live!   


Erika Andersen

 In 1900, the average 30 year old in the U.S. could expect to live another 35 years...in other words, to die by age 65.  Today, the average 30-year-old can expect another 50 years of life; to live until age 80. And by the time those 30 year old's actually are 80, who knows what their life expectancy will be?

Our ideas about aging, and what it means to be over 50 - or 60, or 90 - seem to be stuck somewhere back in the middle of the 20th century. We still consider 65 (or 55, in some sectors) as standard retirement age, and we expect everyone to start slowing down and moving aside for the next generation as their age ticks past the half-century mark.

Ever since I turned 60 a few years ago, I've been realizing that these standard societal notions of what it means to be old - especially for women - just aren't applying to me.  And most important, that I can craft my later years to be what I want them to be, rather than what anybody else tells me they must be.

I just read a wonderful article by Bonnie Hammer, a friend and client, at Fortune.com; an honest, feisty, bold rumination on being a 65-year-old woman in the media industry.  It felt like a lighthearted manifesto (if there can be such a thing), a quick poke in our collective assumptions about aging. It really resonated for me, and made me think about how we can live the life we want, rather than the one that’s prescribed for us.

So let's get practical.  If you find yourself on the AARP side of 50, and you don't want to follow the path laid down for you by society’s expectations, here are seven things you can do to age like a fine wine or a great violin, vs. a can of diet coke or a cheap car:

Read Eiric's 7 Ways To Do It Right 

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

The Danger the Texas Law Posed to the Constitution

The Private-suit Enforcement Mechanism

Where will this end?  According to Reuters "Texas's strict new abortion ban hands over the power of enforcement to private citizens - and offers them cash payments to do so - a unique construction that makes the law harder to block in court."

The law sets up what critics have called a "vigilante" system in which any Texas resident can sue an abortion provider or anyone who aids and abets someone seeking to obtain an abortion.  

Read: "Historian suggests Fugitive Slave Act (1850) closest historical analogy to Texas abortion law." It is interesting that the United States Supreme Court upheld the law's constitutionality in 1859.  What a stain on US law.  

Women's reproductive rights are the first target. However, this is not likely to be the only use for that vigilante law format*.  Consider the minority, conservative agenda:  

Could a school, business, or government be sued by individuals for designating non-gender (transgender) bathrooms?  Could an individual be sued by vigilante enforcers for using a bathroom that is appropriate to their presentation?

Could a business be sued by individuals for mandating mask be worn, or requiring proof of vaccination?  

Could a medical provider be sued for providing counseling to a transgender teen that would be counter to the state's thought police? Could clinics that provide gender confirmation surgery (GRS) or facial feminization surgery (FFS), be sued by individuals?

Could a BLOG writer be sued for advocating transgender rights and freedom of gender expression?   

According to Julia Kaye at the the ACLU: “You could imagine a state banning certain statements in online forums and authorizing anyone who sees the post to sue the person who posted it. The sky is the limit in terms of attacks on constitutional rights.”

Do not forget that Donald Trump's now politically stacked Supreme Court is likely to uphold the conservative agenda as we just saw last week.   

I propose a day where all bloggers express their outrage and call attention to outrageous nature of this vigilante enforcement mechanism. The Republican state legislatures must be sent a clear message. No matter where you stand on woman's reproductive rights, this clear and eminent danger to the constitution and legal precedent is real. 

This is our "First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out…”  moment.(MARTIN NIEMÖLLER)  

I hope today's post generates many comments - Please!

*NY Times - We Are Becoming a Nation of Vigilantes - Since the beginning of the year (2021) Tennessee has authorized students and teachers to sue schools that allow transgender students to use the restrooms that match their gender identity.

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Magic Has No Gender

Billy Porter explains why he's playing a genderless Fairy Godmother in 'Cinderella' remake: 'Magic has no gender'

 Ayomikun Adekaiyero  from the "INSDER"

When Amazon Prime Video's remake of the classic "Cinderella" story — centered on a girl who falls in love and marries a prince — was first envisioned, the Fairy Godmother character wasn't genderless.

It wasn't until Billy Porter nabbed the part that the iconic role changed due to conversations with writer-director, Kay Cannon. 

The Emmy Award-winning actor joins the likes of Camila Cabello, Idina Menzel, and James Corden in a modern musical retelling of the "Cinderella" fairytale. In this version, Porter plays a genderless version of the Fairy Godmother called Fabulous Godmother or Fab G for short.

"It evolved and the thing that came out of the evolution was 'magic has no gender,' so make it genderless, gender-free, gender-fluid whatever you want to say. There is no gender," Porter, who made history as the first openly gay Black man to win a lead actor drama Emmy, explained.

Cannon told Insider that Fab G was the only character that she wrote for this remake with an actor in mind. 

"The actors all came later except for Billy Porter's part. I typically write with people in mind all the time, that's kind of my thing," she admitted. 

Read more here: 


My Note: The story is different and the new adaptation of the Disney's famous cartoon and age old fairy tail is wonderful. There is diversity, music, romance, and at the end a modern twist. With its release, I am sure that Walt Disney did a "turnover" in his cri-chamber.  For me, It was so much fun to watch. Especially the over-the-top Porter. 

I must share my absolute favorite quote. After the Fairy-god (something) has turned a dress sketch that Cinderella herself designed in the ball gown, it is time for Cinderella to be presented with the glass slipper; a 4" beaded pump. Immediately she has difficulty walking in them. She asked her magical benefactor, "Isn't there a way to make them more comfortable?"  The answer:

Even magic has its limits.

To all of us that have endured an evening in high heels (at the ball), we can relate to Cinderella's fate. She does handle it well and there is a storybook ending; although not the one you expected.     

Don't miss it...