Wednesday, June 30, 2021

The Feminine Differential vs Gender Neutrality

I happen upon a very interesting clothing line, Veea.  It is more proof that the younger generation "gets it" and is moving to gender neutrality.  No one likes the feminine differential more than I. However, the future cannot be denied. I feel that here will always be the gender spectrum, the Rambo vs Barbie scale as I call it. However, many are gravitating to a center position either for simplicity or to communicate their reality.

I find it most interesting that so much is becoming available to those seeking this middle place. No more shopping the back pages of risque magazines for secret shops to get clothing and makeup. No more making up stories to sales clerks; "I am shopping for my wife and she happen to be my size..."  Being gender non-conforming is mainstream. I like that. 

Fashion is all about embracing your identity, being proud and  living your life to the full!   


Be your authentic self without apologies. Stay true.

From the Veea Site.


Vee Lee

Back in 2012 when we first launched our brand VEEA, we were providing menswear inspired designs to androgynous women. We were just scratching the surface. To me, being an androgynous brand means breaking the patriarchal boundaries that society imposes for each gender role and embracing both in a non-discriminative way. It’s not just about women wearing suits and men wearing heels or skirts. It needed to be a platform where gender non-conforming, non-binary and LGBTQ+ individuals really have the freedom to explore, represent, express, or find their true essence across the whole gender spectrum. Because it’s bigger than fashion, it’s life.

Androgynous fashion is about embracing your own identity. It’s not about fitting into a box. It’s not lesbian, tomboy, gay, butch, girly, or manly. It’s not masculine or feminine, it’s both.  Yet it doesn’t require you to take on either of those social roles. So you can focus more on just being your authentic self. Stay true.

Sending you all my love and support,

Vee Lee

Founder & Chief Designer


Tuesday, June 29, 2021

I Love A Success Story - Hannah And Adam


This week on Reddit/r/LGBT, Hannah Akers proudly posted that she and her husband, Adam, were celebrating their 14th wedding anniversary. She also shared that it had been 18 years since Adam started transitioning.

Amid the heartfelt congratulations and smile emojis were questions (mostly respectful): Where did they meet? Did their friends know? How did they have kids? When one user ask Hannah about her experience as a cisgender woman married to a transgender man, she generously opened up.

"We met at a church Bible study for young adults—He instantly hit it off with our group and started hanging out with us outside of the church. I always thought he was cute, but I was way too quite and insecure to ever ask him out."

One of Hannah's friends was dating one of Adam's buddies and a double date was planned. "We ended up having an amazing night and we really hit it off. He asked me if I wanted to go out again sometime, just the two of us. Of course I said yes!"

It's estimated at least 1.4 million Americans are transgender.

It was on that second date that Adam told her he was trans.

"He wanted me to know before we got into anything serious," Hannah explained. "I won't lie, it disturbed me at first. But there was something magical that couldn't put anything between us."

Getty Image

They shared their first kiss that night. More dates—and more kisses—followed and, in 2005, they got married. Today, the couple are parents to four children—the youngest just 6 weeks old.

Adam froze his eggs before undergoing gender confirmation surgery and, with the help of a sperm donor, Hannah was inseminated and carried the babies to term.

"We wanted to feel like we both played a role in our pregnancies, like most heterosexual couples do," she said. "He has the genetic connection and I have the 'womb' connection. Four kiddos later and we wouldn't have it any other way."


In 2019, everyone knows someone who is LGBTQ—it makes them think about it and realize they've been fooled into following an extremely outdated viewpoint.

Monday, June 28, 2021

Finally Getting Back To....


Several weeks ago I attend a Meetup lunch with a group that had not had a face-to-face events in over a year.  Some arrived still wearing mask and we had our lunch on a veranda that had a wonderful breeze.  As we had our long lunch, we watched golf games in the distance and saw boats go by in the Intercoastal waterway that is nearby this municipal golf course. 

I had met with this Meetup group only once, pre-pandemic, and only knew one person from before.  This group is a mostly all woman's group and does lunches, dinners and cultural events. Making new friends is so much fun. It is worth noting that we were all vaccinated. 

In two week we have another lunch planned. I am on the wait list and hope to attend and be a regular.    

Again I encourage all that may not be vaccinated to please step-up. As we did with polio, smallpox, chickenpox, and measles, let's put the pandemic behind us. Getting back to a new normal is a wonderful goal.


Saturday, June 26, 2021

A Secret Life...

Great quote - Thanks for sharing Velma

Friday, June 25, 2021

In Memory of Our Friend Katie Ward

Katie Ward
My friend Katy brought this to my attention this week.  So many times we lose friends and because of family situation we never get a chance to say goodbye or get notice. Katy told me today about how much she was part of Keystone and the many areas she help organize. I am sure she will be missed by many.


 We are sorry to announce the passing of our beloved friend and sister Katie Ward.

She passed on Monday, June 14th in a care facility after finding out less than a month ago she had stage 4 brain cancer which had metastasized to her kidneys. The prognosis was short, but she underwent a few treatments of radiation so she could have a little more time with her daughter and granddaughters. Although tired a lot in her last days, she said she had no pain.

Katie dedicated much of her life in service to others. She served our country honorably, first in the Navy, and then in the Air National Guard which she retired from after 20+ years of military service.

She was an officer of TransCentralPA for over five years and a volunteer/member for twice that amount of time. She would consistently host dinners around Harrisburg before our support group meetings to give people a chance to forge friendships both within and outside the group and build confidence in themselves. She enjoyed helping people and giving back.

She actively participated in many community organizations such as the Keystone Business Alliance whom she helped plan their annual awards banquet for a couple of years.

Her favorite event though was the one she helped grow into one of the largest events in the country--The Keystone Conference, A Celebration of Gender Diversity. Katie took on many roles at Keystone; she was the volunteer coordinator, the off-site event coordinator, the security coordinator, the Registrar and many others for several years. At the Saturday Night Gala of the last Keystone, Katie received a much-deserved standing ovation for her contributions to Keystone and the Central Pennsylvania community.

With her passing, Katie leaves behind a legacy of generosity, kindness and compassion. We will miss you Katie--thank you for being our friend.

A memorial service is being planned in the afternoon for Saturday, September 11th. We will provide additional details about the service at a later date.

Thursday, June 24, 2021

Womanless - Ms. Wheelbilly

My note:  We all love the "Womanless" photos.  They provide a legitimate fantasy/excuse and some take the experience serious, which always sets off bells as to motivation.  I did one my sophomore year in collage and wore my girlfriends prom dress. I looked great and had full make, wig and heels. I did not win because someone took it even more serious than I - yes, hard to imagine.  Photos are long gone but it was so much fun and a wonderful memory.

What makes this "Ms. Wheelbilly" pageant photo and the article below interesting is the detail write up; enjoy.



Cancer benefit is anything but a 'drag'

Wednesday, March 4, 2009
By Mary Reeves

What do all these men -- truckers, farmers, businessmen, sons, fathers and husbands -- have in common?

They look divine in Dior.

Okay, maybe "divine" is stretching it a bit, almost as much as the Dior gets stretched. What these men, contestants in the Wheelbillys Relay For Life Womanless Pageant, have in common is they aren't afraid to sacrifice their dignity for a good cause -- and a lot of laughs. Once a year, they dress as beauty pageant contestants and strut their stuff on the runway to see who will be crowned Ms. Wheelbilly of the year.

"We laughed so hard we cried," said Diane Neeley, the coordinator of the Wheelbilly team, and the culprit who came up with the idea in the first place. "Everyone thought I was crazy, but I'm the kind of person you don't tell 'No' to because I will find a way to do what needs to be done."

This year, the Ms. Wheelbilly 2009 Womanless Pageant and Junior Miss Wheelbilly contest is at 7 p.m. Saturday, March 14, at the Liberty School cafeteria. Admission is $2 and free for children 5 and under.


Neeley was the coordinator for Tyson's Relay for Life teams years ago when she worked there as an administrative assistant. When she left Tyson, Relay for Life's Judi Burton asked her to create another team, this one drawn from friends and neighbors in Wheel. Thus, the "Wheelbilly" team was born. Once created, the team had to figure out how to best serve its purpose -- raising money for Relay for Life, an organization that contributes to cancer research and to the Hope Lodge, where patients can stay while undergoing treatment.

"There are so many things we could do," she said. "Donuts, ask for donations, set out those jars to collect change."

Those didn't seem to be enough -- or bring enough money -- to satisfy her. Then, she ran across a "Womanless Beauty Pageant' fundraiser on the Internet.

"I thought, can we do this? I found out -- yes, we can! You look at your husband and you look at your son and you say, 'You are going to do this for Mama,'" she said.

And they do. Her own husband, Kim, and her son, Spencer, have joined in the fun the first two years and plan to do it again this year. With the stage name of Naughty Nelly, Kim Neeley struts on stage to the tune of "Dude Looks Like a Lady."

"And he does!" Diane laughed. "Mrs. Doubtfire."

But Spencer won't be competing this year -- as the reigning Ms. Wheelbilly 2008, he will be on stage in full regalia to crown the 2009 winner.

Don't go suspecting collusion when the event organizer's son wins the pageant. The only judges here are the collection boxes.

"The winner is determined by who raises the most money," said Diane, who said donations count as votes. "The contestants usually bring their own entourage."

New twist

This year, for the first time, contestants will be able to start collecting donations before the pageant, but Diane said she still expects most of the money to come in during the show.

"The guys get a stage name -- one was Anita Man and another one was Foxy Roxy -- and they pick their song, They come out strutting and the crowd goes wild."

The songs, she said, are usually related to women, such as "Pretty Woman," "American Woman," or "Redneck Woman."

The show doubled in size from the first year to the second, which brought in more than $3,000 for Relay for Life, and she expects it to be even bigger this year. But more contestants are needed, especially since the younger contestants have their own pageant this year, the Junior Miss Wheelbilly Pageant. Anyone interested needs to contact her at 685-8053 or 607-8053 at least three or four days before the pageant so his song can be added to the lineup.

"They are all such good sports," she said of the men. "My husband just kept telling me that I was crazy, up until I was putting on his mascara. He said, 'I can't believe I'm doing this for you.'"

While some of the contestants look remarkably good in their evening gowns and makeup, they all go for the laugh factor.

"One year, Mike Fisher -- he has this big, long beard -- he was a belly dancer. That's probably the strangest one we've had," said Diane.

There will be soft drinks available at the event, but the Wheelbillys opted not to do a dinner and dessert venue.

"We try not to involve a lost of cost," said Diane. "The tickets are only $2 and that lets people set the range of what they want to spend that night. Everything we raise goes to Relay."

And if the men shed their dignity for a few hours, that's nothing compared to how quickly they work to regain it.

"It's always fun to see how fast they get all that makeup off before they leave," said Diane.

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

How to Look More Feminine Naturally

You know how I love Quora.  There is so much good information and here is a good question i saw recently:  

How do I make myself (a guy) look more feminine naturally and safely?   

I assume the intent was to not use hormones or have any surgeries. This is a very reasonable discussion point that addresses many concerns that one might have as they navigate the transgender spectrum. 

Julia Reece, a prolific Quora write , Professional Life Coach, Published Author & Event Organizer, as always, provided a reasonable and intelligent answer.    

Many of the points that Julia discusses work so well for me.  I am taken as female more so now than ever;  my intention.  The gender lines well blurred intentionally.  I have found that it is so much better to be accepted covertly (naturally) rather than forcing an over-the-top presentation.  The latter always prompts the thought, "What is wrong with this look?"


From Julia's personal experience:

Making yourself look more feminine “naturally and safely” sounds reasonable to me, so here we go…

#1 - First, learn how to use skin care products. That will make a noticeable - and an almost immediate difference in your complexion. I personally use skin care products like makeup. I use three to five skin care products on most days, and on some days even more. My face starts out squeaky clean right out of the shower, then I use one or two serums, followed by moisturizers on my checks, neck, and eye area (three separate products). When I’m finished, my skin is glowing and definitely looks more like a woman’s skin than a man’s.

#2 - I occasionally wear makeup too. The photo you see at the top of this answer is similar to what I wear myself, and I typically add a finishing powder like this one: Bobbi Brown brightening finishing powder bronze glow.

#3 - I get my eyebrows threaded every two weeks into a feminine arch:

#4 - I get my nails manicured every week using the Essie nail color you see below:

#5 - I wear women’s clothing every day - and everywhere. I typically wear women’s designer jeans, women’s leggings, women’s tops, and women’s underwear. I have a full wardrobe of women’s clothing, including accessories.

#6 - I carry a woman’s handbag when I go shopping:

#7 - I use women’s personal care products: deodorant, shampoo, etc.

#8 - On nights out, I’ll wear a woman’s fragrance.

#9 - I get my arms waxed.

#10 - I’m a “touchy feely” type of person who loves to share my thoughts and emotions - and have others share theirs with me.

Do everything I’ve just listed above and you will definitely look - and feel - more feminine naturally. No surgery required.

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

Women Who Like Men in Women's Clothes


HubPages has an interesting post on "Women Who Like Men in Women's Clothes.".  From what I can tell this post was written by a woman, LUCY83, and is legitimate in its content.  

I get a lot of very kind emails and comments full of appreciation that I speak positively about men who wear women's clothes. Many of them “wish there were more women who love cross dressers”. And a lot of them say how hard it is to find such women. So there’s obviously something of a shortage of such women. I have touched on this in other articles and here I want to take it further and try to help those of you, who are searching but not finding/

Here is the best part of the article and is so relevant to our Escapes and acceptance:

It’s not just about clothes but also about taste

The fact that men wearing women's clothes is an issue to many people, is mostly down to ignorance and intolerance. We all know that but there’s another side to it that I rarely see mentioned by anyone and that is taste. If you wear something that doesn’t suit you at all then you’re not going to win people’s appreciation. That has little to do with gender. You see, not all women get away with wearing all the clothes they want either. For a laugh, I put on my boyfriends casual wear and it looked absolutely hideous on me even though it was ok on him. Or as another example, try to imagine a very overweight woman with hairy legs, be honest with yourself about how you’d think of her wearing sexy lingerie. And the reality is that most men don’t look after their bodies like women do and so there are a lot more men who aren’t suited to that kind of fashion. It’s not because they can’t become suited or because the male body isn’t suited for it per se, but simply because they didn’t prepare enough.

As far as I’m concerned, I even love those men wearing women's clothes whom it doesn’t suit in the least because it has something endearing and helpless about it. But this is the part where I’m the weird one and you shouldn’t count on meeting many others with such a preference. Then again, I don’t really know that - just a guess based on my observation of the people I meet. The bottom line about this “taste thing” is that, something like sheer tights or suspenders look amazingly hot on the right legs - that is every bit as true for lean muscular men's legs as it is for lean women's legs (far more so in my opinion) and I’m sure most women would agree with me.

Read other Lucy83 post on HubPages

Monday, June 21, 2021

International T-Shirt Day


I did not make that up.  According to the FactShop 

June 21st marks the celebration of International T-shirt day! The yearly celebration of T-shirt day all started back in 2008 as an initiative by the brand Spreadshirt and has since taken the world by storm. But before you dig out your favorite T-shirt (or go out buying a new one), check out this history all about the T-shirt that will make you appreciate this cool annual holiday just that little bit more.

The above is built around a Tommy Bahama "Kauai Jersey T-Shirt".  It is super comfortable and looks great; just what you wound expect from a t-shirt.  This combination is becoming my daily go-to look.  An effective although unintentional "Feminine Differential". 

Give it a try.  Comments?  


Saturday, June 19, 2021

Friday, June 18, 2021

Two Easy Pieces - A Wonderful Escape Day


A few day back I got my hair cut/styled by my wonderful hair dresser.  I know nothing about doing my own hair and depend on her for so much.  I listened when she said "ditch the wigs and grow your own", and depend on her for styles that prevent my white hair from looking "old".  She is a true artist.

After my treasured time spent in the feminine enclave of a hair salon, I have a few minutes to spare and stopped by the mall. My main mission was a Starbucks tea. However, to my surprise the mall is back to being fully open at 10:00 am. On the way to Starbucks, one of my favorite store was not only open but beckoned me in with a 30% off banner. I know store shopping is so last decade, but the trying-on and selecting just the right size (not guessing) is a treasured experience. 

Lilly Pulitzer One Piece

The above two "easy pieces" are from Talbots.  The skirt, in petite, is the "GINGHAM COTTON CANVAS SKIRT" and was on sale plus I used a twenty dollar coupon. The "WEEKEND - EMBROIDERED SWEATER" was prominently on display near the skirt and the two begged to be together.  After a quick stop in the changing room the deal was done. I really like the way these two piece go together; easy.  

After a another quick stop in the Macy's lingerie department, I ventured  into the Lilly Pulitzer store to try on a bathing suit I had seen online; the Layne One-Piece Swimsuit. I have been getting good use out of my Beach House's new pool summing/swimming in the afternoon. I have also made friends with several neighbors and have fallen into a ladies pool exercise group. We talk and walk in the pool so nothing strenuous; thus the need for new bathing suit.    

After all the stops,  I headed to the beach house to give the credit cards a cool off.  So much for just getting a tea.    

Katie and I went to dinner that evening and she took the photo above. Thank you my good friend.  From morning to evening - a wonderful escape day .    

 Beach House Community Pool Area


Thursday, June 17, 2021

Eyebrow - Before / After

I had Caila at "Beauty Fetish" in Palm Beach Gardens do my eyebrows last Friday.  Wow, what a difference and the big surprise is that they look so natural.  I have showered and the tint stays in place and looks great. Dare I go for more arch next time?   

I am sorry that I waited so long and this indulgence will become apart of my regular beauty salon routine. I highly recommend you find a qualified professional, describe your desired look and get you brow shaped/tinted. The clean brow look makes for a wonderful feminine differential or just better looking face.  

Clean/Shaped Eyebrow Look

Wednesday, June 16, 2021


 Why Femboy Is More Than Just a Trend

Another example of the younger generation "Getting It".

A femboy is a person, typically under the age of 30 years, who is biologically male. However, this person will often present himself in a very feminine manner. This behavior may be exhibited part of the time, or all of the time.  It is interesting that they embrace the name


12 Sep 2020

Flawless Kevin

Self-identified ‘femboy’ Kevin Ninh’s first feminine clothing purchase was a complete accident. After a top from the women’s section found its way into the men’s department and ultimately into his shopping basket, he was asked if he still wanted it. He said yes.

“I remember my mom purchased it for me,” the 24 year old content creator tells Evening Standard Insider. “That’s when I knew that my style wasn’t restricted to just labels.”

Now Ninh, who goes by Flawless Kevin online, has a wardrobe that includes pleated miniskirts, floral ruched dresses and (his prized possession) a Kendall Jenner-esque Nylon Prada bag - all of which he shares proudly on platforms like TikTok, YouTube and Instagram.

He’s just one of many young men who are part of the digital feminine boy community, expressing themselves on social media platforms through fashion and make-up. It’s the next online chapter in gender fluid fashion, which has long been championed by the LGBTQ+ community.

Femme men have held space online for years now (Reddit’s /r/feminineboys forum has nearly 70k members since starting in 2012). However, they’ve become more visible than ever on TikTok. #FemboyFriday has become a popular weekly theme with over 158.3m views on the platform as users including Ninh and 17 year old Seth Tamunopriye Williams (@thesethwilliams on Instagram) have blown up, showing off rainbow skirts, embellished bustiers and complex make-ups looks straight out of Euphoria - expanding beyond their community and into the wider digital world.

One of the biggest unifiers among femme boys is that they proudly incorporate feminine clothing into their wardrobes with strong ties to the LGBT community. Beyond that, they’re a diverse group, made up of people with different gender identities, sexualities and more.

For example, Ninh says a common misunderstanding viewers have of him is that he’s “in the process of transitioning or am transgender”, while Williams asserts that “feminine men are not any ‘weaker’ than masculine men” - stressing that "the fabric on your body doesn’t make you any less of a man if that’s what you identify as.”

While the word ‘femboy’ has been used in the past to insult feminine men, and according to Ninh has a "connotation of fetishisation", Williams is among those who have embraced it - explaining “people are trying to repurpose the word to give it a positive meaning.”

Judd Anderson

The increased visibility wound up inspiring others to join the hashtags as well as cisgendered heterosexual men to bring more femme items into their wardrobes, with 18 year old #FemboyFriday participant Judd Anderson joining the new wave. Anderson, who goes by .jvdd on TikTok, began incorporating skirts into his wardrobe in May and had a very different way in than Ninh - as his was rooted in music.

“It was during quarantine and I decided to find new music to listen to with all the extra time,” he recalls. “I started to develop a strong liking to Nirvana, which made me want to research the band and that’s when I instantly became interested in Kurt Cobain. One thing that specifically caught my attention was pictures of him performing in dresses and skirts.” 

Anderson doesn’t see himself as a femboy but “doesn’t mind” if he’s referred to as one. He has “no idea” why his initial video blew up (as well as follow ups of himself in different skirts and dresses), but believes it might be because it’s still “unexpected to see a guy in a skirt.”

Saying that the responses to his videos have been largely positive, like Ninh and Williams he’s also been subject to occasional abuse and assumptions based on his choice of femme clothing. For example, Anderson says, “People tend to assume my sexuality by calling me gay or ‘sus’ is what a lot of people say, solely based on the fact I wear more femme clothing and makeup."

Anderson adds, "People have been presenting themselves more femme for a long time but were constantly hated on and bullied."

Seth Williams
He feels that with increasing the visibility of men wearing femme items (referencing Styles again), is a "way to make it become more socially accepted." He continues, " The more people see it and see positivity coming from everyone it’ll make more people who’ve wanted to express themself in a more femme matter finally do it and not have to be worried about getting hate for the clothes they wear or how they want to present themself."

 Williams, who also uses the hashtag #FemboyEveryday, says, “I don’t think that there is anything wrong with cishet men experimenting with their self expression. However, people need to be cognizant of the fact that our identities aren’t a ‘trend’ and that this is who we are.”

“Amongst my circle, I’ve noticed that more discernibly or openly queer men receive much more hate. Our community has been fighting gender norms for years, so we should get the same appreciation as our cishet counterparts,” he says.


Monday, June 14, 2021

Briefly Noted

 Underwear for Your Masculine Center (A Girl's Prospective) 

From Autostraddle*

The gender politics of underwear are weird. What makes “men’s” underwear exclusively for men? Is it still men’s underwear if I’m wearing it? Why do I have to look at so many pictures of washboard abs and generous crotches? If clothing is how you express yourself to others, then underwear is how you express yourself to…yourself. Sometimes wearing men’s underwear is the smallest transgression we dare to make. Sometimes it’s the loudest secret we have. Sometimes it peeks out the top of our jeans. Sometimes it’s all we’re wearing.

So come all ye of varying genders, and let’s talk about underwear for the masculine of center.

Breaking Tradition

by anon

I’ve always been that kid with hyper-senses. A loose hair between my back and shirt drives me crazy. That ball of fuzz that forms in the toe of the sock after washing drives me crazy. Traditional underwear seams? Used to drive me crazy. It’s been almost a decade since I last wore a pair of traditional underwear. When I started college, my (then) girlfriend wore Hanes boy short underwear and I was excited to get in them. Get in a pair of my own, I mean. So it all started there; with this idea that I was still wearing girl’s underwear. The model on the little cardboard covering was a girl. So when I checked out at the register, it was okay. When my mom saw them, it was okay because they were girls’ underwear.

The next change happened about 4 years after that when I met my now (and forever) girlfriend. It’s another essay and several poems to explain how she changed my life. She taught me everything I know about sexuality and gender. Taught me, really taught me that it was okay to be me; whoever that me is. That’s when I got my first pair of men’s underwear. Actually, she got them for me in a surf/skate shop in Eilat, Israel, where we met. They were Rip Curl and they were teal and they were – and still are – my favorite pair of boxers. Over that year, I acquired several more men’s trunks, but was still wearing my girls’ boy shorts as well. It wasn’t until I got back to the States that I really changed my whole wardrobe.

I started buying everything that made me feel comfortable, and that included more men’s underwear so that I could be wearing them on the daily. I started with Hollister – my brand of choice at the time. Since then, I’ve branched out to American Eagle, Express, Hanes and even Champion. It took some time, but I’ve finally figured out what I like and what I don’t like, and I never realized boxers could be so different.


Eventually, I’d like to add a little Calvin Klein to my drawer, but that’s a top shelf boxer for my wallet right now. So if you’re shopping on more of a budget, I guarantee the American Eagle band peeking out above your jeans will be just as sexy to your human-love as Calvin Klein. It can be a little scary walking into the men’s department for the first time and especially purchasing men’s underwear, but it’ll feel so good knowing that you’ve fucked with at least one person’s idea of gender. And it’ll feel even better when you wear them for the first time.


* About Autostraddle: Founded in March 2009 by Riese Bernard and Alexandra Vega and still run by a team of progressively feminist queer and trans folks, Autostraddle is a digital publication and real life community for multiple generations of LGBTQIA+ humans (and their friends). The driving fire behind what we hope to build at Autostraddle is a space for lesbians and queer people — especially people of color — to be our entire selves, to be known for the multi-dimensional ways we move in the world.

Friday, June 11, 2021

Friend's Friday - Being Connie

Lately, I'm becoming more and more comfortable and secure  in public as Connie. This photo was taken by a woman friend after we had met for dinner a few weeks ago. As I'm getting older I'm finding it much more comfortable and feeling a sense of serenity being out.  So different than being out as an older GUY

It has become an almost constant source of annoyance and dread having to try to look and feel comfortable being out knowing i'm not a young man anymore. The magic of makeup and foundation garments give me a feeling of security which I find is how I'm now preferring when out. 

I am hoping there comes a time when I'll feel comfortable to let friends and family know of how I do truly feel about myself.

Connie, you look absolutely fabulous and love your hair. Your confidence should be through the roof!  You go girl!  Rhonda 

Thursday, June 10, 2021

Earring Hack 2.0


Hoop earrings are still in style
I love this feminine look.  

I am having success with these two non-pierce earring hacks.  The one on the left is a play on the old clip earring that works. You see this style in pierced earrings but these do not have a post.  Sometimes an adjust is needed to make sure the back clip holds tight and have proper placement. The earring above, in this style, are comfortable all day. From Amazon - Simple Tube Hoop Clip 

The earnings on the right are a bit different. You take the normal length post and shorten it with wire cutters.  The shorten post is covered with a rubber sleeve and a pad is used on the back. The front pad does push a little into the soft tissue of the ear and becomes invisible. This provides a good tight fit to the ear. 

I like this design. With mask wearing you would be unlikely to pull these off.  Be warned that after wearing these for an evening you will have a small read dot on the front for a few hours. Also any pierced earring with a post and clip can be made into this style (just shorten the post). These are about as close as you can get to pierced without going through the pain/questions. Amazon similar style here with 5 different hoop sizes for 7.99. 


Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Feminine Differential - Eyebrows

The difference between male and female eyebrows.

The expert's description:

The more round the inside of the eyebrows and pointing closer to the forehead, the more feminine they appear. On the other hand, the more the eyebrows are pressed towards the eyes, the more masculine the eyebrows appear. Furthermore, the eyes are more flat and horizontal for men and the eyebrows are far more arched and the density decreases as the tail of the eyebrows arch downwards for women.

See more on the Feminine Secrets site.


I have an appointment this Friday for an eyebrow consultation.  Growing up I had a complete mono-brow so shaping and cleaning the center has been a face  routine since teen. The center is no longer a problem, but the old age bushiness and lack of color (grey) is. Being mostly gray they tend to be almost invisible so I have used in the past an eyebrow pencil to make them show up.  I will have the "brow artist take before and after. This is a little scary, but not as big a step as growing out my hair.