Saturday, October 24, 2020



ESCAPE one step at a time!

Friday, October 23, 2020

LGBTQ People Fear 'Relentless' Attacks...


Uncertain future amid Trump's re-election campaign

ASBURY PARK, N.J. – Rebekah Bruesehoff is tired, and she’s scared.

Rebekah Bruesehoff 
Rebekah, a 13-year-old transgender girl, has spent nearly a third of her life living in President Donald Trump’s America, with near-weekly attacks on the LGBTQ community by the administration.

“To be honest, it’s exhausting,” said Rebekah, who lives in Camden County. “Every time I go on social media, I see another attack. And it’s also really scary because I know that at some point this could mean that I can’t be who I am.”

The last four years have been particularly grueling for members of America's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community and their allies.

GLAAD, via its Trump Accountability Project, has reported more than 181 attacks — averaging nearly one a week by mid-October 2020 — on the LGBTQ community, either in actions or in statements, from the Trump administration since the president took office.

Any time an LGBTQ issue comes up, "they take the anti-LGBTQ position," said Diana Flynn, litigation director for Lambda Legal, a national nonprofit organization working for the civil rights of the LGBT community and those living with HIV. "It seems like they are seeking out opportunities to try to undermine the community’s status in the law.”

Rebekah said she was first moved to activism following the Trump administration's February 2017 rollback of Obama-era protections for transgender students that had allowed them to use school restrooms corresponding to their gender identity.

 Rebekah said:

It was really upsetting and pretty infuriating. I was 10 years old and it was the beginning of four years of attacks on LGBTQ people.

The diminishment of LGBTQ rights and protections has been felt on many fronts, from the rolling back of protections for transgender patients under the Affordable Care Act, a proposed rule allowing federally funded homeless shelters to deny services to transgender people and largely not enforcing the Supreme Court's June ruling that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 protects LGBTQ people from employment discrimination.


“People need to vote, that’s the gist of it," Rebekah said. "People need to vote for kids like me who can’t vote yet, for so many others and really because my future and my life as the person who I know I am depends on them voting.”

Read the whole article at Yahoo News.

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Feminine Differential - Proportions

Ralph Lauren - Pattern Play
In classic navy and white, spring’s subtle designs easily mix and match 

Stana in one of her posts recently discussed receiving an advertisement email from ShopBAZAAR, which featured the image of a model of indeterminate gender.  I guess my radar went up as I noticed another prominent designer with a similar image, shown above. 

As to the gender-specific marketing, there is no question. Yes, the items are feminine.  E.g. a drawstring purse, flora skirt on the model to the right and feminine cut pantsuit on the model to the left. 

However, look closely at then model on the right. There are some very subtle not so feminine features. Yes, I know models are tall, thus many times producing larger overall features by comparison. Let face it, they are models because of their proportions and visual appeal. Many times specific (beautiful) male features do not become noticeable until seen alongside a genetic female. Thus the possible contrast in the above photo. 

I know, maybe just a silly observation. Likely completely wrong and misinterpreted. What is most encouraging, as Stana and I have discussed, is the blurring of the male/female gender lines. If this is the case, certainly not the first male model wearing feminine clothing and unlikely to be the last. We have come along way, baby.

Treasure our new found freedom - Escape!  

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Married father of 3 wears skirts, heels to work because he can


Mark Bryan, a 61-year-old engineer

By: Suzy Weiss

October 19, 2020

For one dad of three, getting dressed can be a real drag.

Mark Bryan, an American robotics engineer living in Germany, wears towering high heels and skirts every day to prove “clothes have no gender,” he told Bored Panda.

Bryan has shared his style shots on his now-viral Instagram, @MarkBryan911. There, his bio explains further: “I am just a straight, happily married guy,” he wrote to his 62,000 followers, “that loves Porsche’s, beautiful women and incorporating high heels and skirts into my daily wardrobe.”

His daily wardrobe includes red pumps, plaid miniskirts, and seasonally appropriate suede boots, which Bryan paired with a sensible mid-calf beige pencil skirt.

“I prefer skirts to dresses,” said Bryan, 61. “Dresses don’t allow me to mix the genders. I prefer a ‘masculine’ look above the waist and a non-gendered look below the waist.”

When it comes to footwear, Bryan, who also coaches football, prefers heels from the brand Lost Ink. He has pairs of strappy stilettos and open-toed sandals from the company, because they “are great for men as they offer a wide fit in most of their shoes,” according to his Instagram.

Bryan is happily married
and has a passion for high heels and skirts

Bryan insisted that his sartorial choices are for “non-sexual reasons.” The habit began in college with an old flame — the two would practice dancing together, both in high heels. Then it quickly became normal for him.

He compared the experience of teetering around in public to having green hair. “You look up and see this person, your mind tells you it’s a person with green hair, you think to yourself, ‘That’s odd or interesting,’ then you go back to do what you were doing and don’t give it another thought.”

His wife of 11 years helps him pick out clothes, and his daughter often wishes she could borrow his shoes.

At 6 feet tall without the heels, Bryan is quite the towering figure when he’s all gussied up. Even while working from home during the pandemic, when most former office-goers took the opportunity to dress down, Bryan wore business dress at his home desk.

His advice for men? “If you are asking about heels, then I would say to start with a low heel and work your way up as your confidence gets higher.”

Read the whole article and watch the video here.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

I Love A Success Story - Capt. Jennifer Peace

Capt. Jennifer Peace on Being Transgender in the Military


As the Supreme Court allows the Trump administration’s military transgender ban to go into effect while a legal challenge plays out in lower courts, Captain Jennifer Peace, a transgender woman who joined the US army when she was 19, joins the program.

PBS Interview

Thank you for you service.


Monday, October 19, 2020

It's Leather Time


From one of the first times I ever wore a leather item I was hooked.  It is the richness of the texture, and the way it shapes to the body.  To my joy you see it year-after-year.  I typically try and find it on sale and many times it can be found in the spring when merchants are clearing fall/winter items.  

A good quality black or tan skirt is a must for those "make an entrance" evening out.  Do not be fooled by vegan-leather or faux-leather. Nothing looks cheaper and it will not hold up for more than one season. Think investment shopping when choosing any leather product. You are purchasing an item that will not go out of style and will last. The above leather skirt was purchased from Talbot's about 5 years ago.  

The sweater item of note is the Venus - Boat Neck Cable Knit Sweater.  it is currently on the Venus site and covers several of my favorite looks.  The peach color looks great with my white hair; the boat neck is flattering for short necks, and it has enough texture to the fabric to have style.  Best of all is the price - reasonable at $54.00. (on sale today @ 39.00)

The other item worth noting is the MCM  Berlin Visetos Coated Canvas Drawstring Handbag. It is currently offered at the Nortstrom site and is an investment item that I have been watching for several years.  MCM is a recognizable designer item by its coated canvas material and distinctive "MCM" logo.  Here is a product line description:

Founded in 1976 in Munich, MCM is a brand that's bold, irreverent and aspirational—with an eye toward revolutionizing classic design. MCM's vision is to transform luxury fashion accessories and travel goods by combining craftsmanship and value for today's modern generation of global nomads: dreamers, creatives and digital natives who are unconstrained by rules and boundaries.

I am still looking forward to time when getting out is not a "Do I really need to attend this event?" question.   




Sunday, October 18, 2020

Rhonda's Political Week In Review 10/18/2020


‘Worst American President’: New York Times Flames ‘Racist Demagogue’ Trump

The New York Times went scorched earth in a scathing editorial Friday, calling Donald Trump — with his “rampant corruption, celebrations of violence, gross negligence with the public’s health” and incompetence — the “worst American president in modern history.”

“End our national crisis” the Times pleaded with voters to oust the president, adding that Trump’s reelection campaign “poses the greatest threat to American democracy since World War II.”

Trump “cannot solve the nation’s pressing problems because he is the nation’s most pressing problem,” the newspaper flatly said. “He is a racist demagogue presiding over an increasingly diverse country; an isolationist in an interconnected world; a showman forever boasting about things he has never done, and promising to do things he never will.

The editorial is part of a special package in the Times’ Sunday Review section that also features a series of accompanying essays about Trump’s corruption, his COVID-19 “superspreader agenda,” his “fake populism,” his racism, and his attacks on the environment, immigration and on the rights of people of color, women and the LGBTQ community

Politico - Political cartoons from the desk of Matt Wuerker.

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Friday, October 16, 2020

Friends Friday - Out with the Old, In with the New!

By Katy

That black leather mini…back in the day

I finally did some serious closet cleaning last week.  I think I’ve been putting this off for the last 30 years so you can imagine the task!  To be honest, it wasn’t my idea.  My spouse was right: “every 30 years you should clean things out whether they need it or not!”  I really, really needed to clean up and to get rid of some stuff.

I’ve been inspired by Marie Kondo and her “method.”  I’m an emotional person…surprise…who attaches memories to “things.”  My mind will say that throwing out the dress is like throwing out the memory of the great/sad/exciting/devestating/beautiful time I had wearing that dress.  Marie Kondo says that people like me should only own “things that spark joy in their lives.”  Wow.  So, beginning with the end in mind…only keeping things that spark joy inside me…we start by discarding things that are out of style, don’t really fit, are age inappropriate, and the like.  Marie recommends you hold up the candidate and let it talk to you. Really.   You should begin to feel the joy it brings.  If there is no sense of joy, you simply thank the garment for the role it played in your life, and then wish it well in its new life, being owned by someone else!  Then, out it goes.

I made good progress.  Some items just didn’t talk to me at all.  I looked dumbly at the garment saying out loud, “what was I thinking when I bought this?  Or, maybe, I liked it but it really never fit right so I never wore it.  Some of the items still had sales tags attached.  Geez.

But then I came to my row of skirts.  There were grouped “summer/spring” and “fall/winter” and then arranged by length (this was the most organized segment of my closet…ever.  There were maybe 20 skirts, total.  But the first one in the fall/winter department was a little black leather mini skirt.  I held it up.  “How did I ever get those hooks to catch?”  It was tiny.  But then the memories came flooding back:  I remember going to The Raven in New Hope around Halloween, wearing a short, platinum bob wig, black turtle-neck sweater with a little black knit belt, the leather mini skirt, black tights, and black leather pointy-toe boots with a kitten heel. 

All grown up
Two years ago at the Hyatt in Philadelphia

 Like it was yesterday, I remember the butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling as I opened the door to the Oak Room which contained about 100 men, half of whom were singing a show tune to Russ Eiffert’s accompaniment on the baby grand in the center of the room.  To me, it was like the classic saloon scene in a western movie, where someone pushes through the swinging doors and the piano stops and every poker player and bar drinker turns to eyeball the “new cowboy in town.”  That’s how it felt when Russ recognized me entering and he looked me over from top to bottom, pretending the keys on the piano were suddenly too hot to touch and he gently blew on his fingers to cool them.  The whole room turned to check me out.  I was mortified but luckily recalled the advice of a friend who told me to enter a room “like you own the place!”  I smiled, I waved and found a seat near the piano where I could sit down and sort of disappear into the crowd.  Russel (RIP) behind the bar sent over a cosmo and we were off to a really fun night, singing and meeting new people..  That was a great night.  

So, I held up that little leather mini-skirt and I thanked it for that night and for the memories it brought back.  Then, I wished it safe travels and put it in the Goodwill bag.  

The skirt is gone but the memories are still there. It’s OK.


Thursday, October 15, 2020

No Men Allowed

Source: http://corpseruncomics.com/corpse-run-700-my-fair-lady/

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Oreo - Proud Parent


Oreo’s New Ad On LGBTQ Acceptance Is So Necessary

ProudParent Pack of Oreos

(Thanks Velma for sending this one along)

by Kristine Cannon October 9, 2020

Oreo and PFLAG’s year-long Proud Parent initiative is designed to, as Oreo puts it, “shine a spotlight on the powerful impact love and acceptance can have on LGBTQ+ youth.”

Not only did Oreo create a limited edition #ProudParent pack of Oreos that feature rainbow-colored creme, but they’re giving them away solely to the first 10,000 people who share a photo on Instagram or Twitter showing what allyship means to them. And so far, the tweets and posts are just beautiful.

"A loving world starts with a loving home’

Chug a glass of water and grab a tissue (or use your shirt like I did), because Oreo‘s new ad — just in time for LGBTQ History Month — will hit you square in the feels and bring you to tears.

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Feminine Differential - The Necklace

But fear no more! Here is a "Necklace Cheat Sheet" just for you. Simply follow our guide on how to accessorize different necklines and you'll be walking out the door looking like a fashionista. 

Monday, October 12, 2020

I love A Success Story - Defied Her Mafia Upbringing

 Daniela Lourdes Falanga, her family's first male heir, was expected to follow the path of her mafia boss father. She overcame a brutal Naples childhood to become a prominent transgender rights activist.

Dedicated to the cause:

Daniela Lourdes Falanga, 42, is the first transgender woman to chair the Naples branch of Arcigay, the leading Italian organization for the protection of LGBT+ people and the fight against gender discrimination. She was the first son of a local mafia boss.

Daniela Lourdes Falanga
The narrow alleys stretching from the Obelisk of Saint Dominic are a popular image on Naples postcards. Here university students stroll along Spaccanapoli, the main street that cuts through the historic city, drinking espresso and nibbling ricotta pastries. Short, slender doors lead into the vasci, one-room, ground-floor apartments that used to be homes for the poor but are now more often shops, cellars or even restaurants. In one of them, Daniela Lourdes Falanga is taking a break after a series of hectic days.

Says the 42-year-old, surrounded by banners and posters from the annual Pride Parade: 

I've spent the whole night providing free HIV tests to everyone who asked for one. The stigma associated with HIV is still strong in the transsexual community, so many avoid taking the test.

These barriers to genuine acceptance condemned older generations to live as outcasts. "If your body did not fit into a binary representation of gender then you got expelled from the labor market.

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Friday, October 9, 2020

New England Journal...


Leading Medical Journal Calls For End To Trump Administration

List of authors: The Editors

In a rare political statement from a scientific journal, the New England Journal of Medicine released an editorial Wednesday lambasting the Trump administration’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic and calling on Americans to vote President Donald Trump out of office next month.

November’s election will have life-or-death consequences for people across the country regardless of party alignment, the journal’s editorial board said.

“Reasonable people will certainly disagree about the many political positions taken by candidates. But truth is neither liberal nor conservative. When it comes to the response to the largest public health crisis of our time, our current political leaders have demonstrated that they are dangerously incompetent.

Anyone else who recklessly squandered lives and money in this way would be suffering legal consequences. Our leaders have largely claimed immunity for their actions. But this election gives us the power to render judgment. Reasonable people will certainly disagree about the many political positions taken by candidates. But truth is neither liberal nor conservative. When it comes to the response to the largest public health crisis of our time, our current political leaders have demonstrated that they are dangerously incompetent. We should not abet them and enable the deaths of thousands more Americans by allowing them to keep their jobs.

You can read the entire New England Journal of Medicine editorial here.  

This is the first time in the journal’s 208-year history that the editors have ever published an editorial about elections, Editor-in-Chief Dr. Eric Rubin told CNN. The editorial was collectively signed by every editor on staff, something that’s only happened on four other recent occasions, Rubin added.

The United States has “failed at every step,” leaving the nation with more than 500 coronavirus-related deaths per million people ― a shocking statistic compared to China’s reported 3 deaths per million, the editors wrote.

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Should Trans Woman Athletes be Allowed to Compete in Women’s Sports?

This is an amazingly well written scientific discussion on the above subject. Please read the scientific evidence that supports the stated conclusions shown below. A very interesting discussion.  Please comment.

From Transacola 

AUGUST 4, 2020

Dr. Renée Richards - 1975


But people are seriously up in arms over this, so I guess we’re talking about it now. The main arguments appear to be that trans women are at an apparent advantage over cis women because of greater bone density, muscle mass, and differences in hormone levels. So let’s tackle each of these.

So now that we have all that out of the way, let’s review what we’ve learned so far.

  • Male and Female times only differ by around 10%

  • That margin keeps narrowing as more female athletes enter competitions

  • Transgender women have lower bone density, muscle mass, strength, and testosterone than men to begin with

  • Trans women are required to be on HRT and have their testosterone in normal female ranges prior to competition

  • Is HRT enough to sufficiently narrow that 10% gap?

  • I can only assume so looking at our mediocre averages

  • Oh and also women are for more capable than we’re given credit, and that will be shown in due time

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Why You Should Buy The Shoes...

MJ, thank you for sharing this one on your Facebook page. 

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

I Love A Success Story - Ines Rau

Conversation between Ines Rau and Gia Noortas.

They talk about Ines's career as an actress, challenges that transgender people face in the industry and her spiritual path.

Ines-Loan Rau (born 1990) is a French model. She was Playboy magazine's Playmate of the Month for November 2017, and the first openly transgender Playmate.

See also my 2017 post on Ines. Breaking News - Playboy

Monday, October 5, 2020

Style Fun - Is It Cool Yet?

Fall 2020 Planning


Like it or not most of the US is still under limited "Social Event" outings.  Florida's, not-the-smartest, governor has thrown open the doors. However, for my own personal safety I plan on avoiding large groups for a while longer. That does not preclude the mall, furniture shopping and small limited groups that share my sense of safety.  

Now that somewhat cooler weather is around, I saw this beautiful sweater top up on the Venus site -  (Tie Sleeve Chenille Sweater). I purchased it last year and during trips north last winter it got a lot of wear.  The V-Neck is flattering and it has just the right amount of feminine flair.  With jeans, it really looks nice. 

The other feminine touches are a many-seasons-old Brighton Bracelet Watch, hoop earrings and basic feminine glasses from my favorite eye-wear store, Eyes On The Island in Palm Beach.    



The cute platform sneakers are Supega (Women's 2790 Acotw Platform Sneaker) and I got then from Amazon.  Again, just enough feminine flair and I have seen these being worn a lot. 

It is never too late. Plan for cooler weather and escapes in our new reality of dressing-down. 



Saturday, October 3, 2020

Friday, October 2, 2020

Friend's Friday - Connie's Hair

BY Connie:

Having read Rhonda's posts and blogs in past  - she's the one I feel who gave me the inspiration to let my own hair grow LONG-- 

I know that a woman's " crowning" glory is her hair and I've always had a fascination with women,s hair styles -I remember being  curious since very young...

Now after a few years of letting it grow out I've discovered how annoying it can be maintaining long hair but also how glorious it feels and looks when properly styled and maintained ---and I just can't think of going back to a "normal" male length style..- my hairdresser had known me only in male mode for years - now she only see's Connie -- After our initial first meeting she quickly adjusted to her NEW client and made me feel very comfortable and at ease.... Also my wife now will put my hair in rollers before we go out as G/F's and will make quite a fuss ensuring my hair looks good -- that's something I never dreamed would start to feel NORMAL--- the one thing I wish i had  is thicker hair - as I do wear a hairpiece to hide a thinning area.. but we do what we must .

My wife -- a woman friend and my hairdresser would like me to keep it shorter in style to keep  my appropriate looking for a WOMAN my age ( another thing I find  strange hearing at times) but so far I'm resisting and am keeping it as long as possible-..

One woman friend has told me I should use Rhonda's look as a model for myself --- I'd be ecstatic to be able to match her wonderfully feminine style !!


Thanks Connie - I love your look.  

Thursday, October 1, 2020

There’s Nothing Wrong With A Boy Being Girly

From The Standard
By Nancy Roxanne
3 years ago

A friend of mine on Facebook recently shared on her timeline a rant by a Facebook user who had some very choice words for a certain Walter Korir. That his post was insulting is an understatement.

Throwing cheap shots at another on social media is not a new phenomenon. I see it every day. What was shocking about this particular post (besides the horrendous use of the English language) is that in this time and age, it is still considered a great insult to be a woman.

Every sentence in that rant reeks of gross misogyny and it goes without saying that the writer believes that all women are weak and completely lacking in intelligence. His intention was to insult, but he ended up insulting the entire female population in the process.

We want to pretend that we are civilized people who believe that sexism in a backward concept, but we live in a society where the word ‘woman’ is an insult. I can’t imagine what more proof of sexism a person might need.

Of the zillions of insults available to throw around these days, it is perplexing that women’s traits and attributes are still considered as the meanest, cruelest and most demeaning insults you can hurl at a man.

Every day, women make headways in virtually every field, even previously male-dominated fields, and are even surpassing their male counterparts, yet being a woman is still seen as lesser than a man and therefore, there is pressure on men not to be that way.

Every day, we hear boys being told, “You are such a girl” or “You throw like a girl” or “Don’t cry like a girl”. Men are insulted with phrases such as, “Do you need a tampon?” and, “Are your balls in your purse?” The general suggestion behind these jibes is that if one is not being the stereotype masculine man, then he must have slipped down the social ladder to being one of the sub-humans, namely a woman.

Other times, we hear of female genitalia being used as insults against men, sometimes the perpetrator being a woman. Why is it that being a woman is still the butt of social jokes? We need to be conscious of the phrases we throw about as insults because it speaks of our possible bigotry.

When a little girl hears someone telling a little boy to stop being such a girl, she will grow up believing that there is something inherently wrong about being a girl.

We need to stop telling little girls that the things that define us as women such us menstruation, compassion and generally being feminine, are also what limit us.

Being girly is not the worst crime a boy-child can commit.

Make a point to never insult another person based on gender.