Friday, July 31, 2020

Fashion Play - Spring Lauren Blue Dress

Note;  This was written over a year ago and  I never got around to posting.  Last year in May I was planning my second Cruise and this was an outfit I planned.  Better late than never, so enjoy.

Stay tuned as I clear out some older post that never made it to prim-time.  


Today's center piece is Lauren's Ruffled-Overlay Lace Dress. The color is Hydrangea. This shade of blue is a color I wear well. Here are more details from the Lauren site: 

Delicate lace creates an intricate floral motif in this form fitting dress, which is accentuated by an eye-catching overlay that cascades across the neckline. The shell is viscose, cotton, nylon. Lining polyester. V-neck front and V-back, with concealed center back zipper/hook-and-eye closure. 

Starting cost is a little pricey at $175. However it is now 30% off with one discount and an additional 30% with another code.  Definite maybe for an upcoming cruise's formal night.     

All of the other items can be shopped around and I have shown the Calfskin Ricky Cross body purse to the right. This signature bag style is crafted in full-grain calfskin pigment-dyed in the season's signature blue. Priced at $1390 it is not for the faint of wallet. This is not something I own or would consider, even with the 30%+; off limits. It will look just fine with my Michael Kors Vivian, Medium Leather Messenger bag in White.  

2018 Cruise
This dress is a little like a white dress I wore on my cruise last summer. It is beautiful but the problem I had was with it's length. Even with heels, It was too long and with the lace work at the bottom, it cannot be hemmed without changing the design/look. This dress does not seem to have that problem. Plus on me I find the V-neck design to be more flattering. For formal night on the ship last year I wore it in 2018 with yellow shoes and accessories.   

Yes, cruise planning again.  Stay tuned...



Thursday, July 30, 2020

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Change Is Inevitable

Isn't Gender Non-Conforming and Being Transgender The Same?

Gender Non-Conforming

A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. Please note that not all gender non-conforming people identify as transgender; nor are all transgender people gender non-conforming. 

Many people have gender expressions that are not entirely conventional – that fact alone does not make them transgender. Many transgender men and women have gender expressions that are conventionally masculine or feminine. Simply being transgender does not make someone gender non-conforming. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming.

According to MERRIAM-WEBSTER DICTIONARIES, Trans as a prefix means to be on or [move] to the other side of;  across or beyond.  Transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth. Gender identity refers to a person’s internal sense of being male, female or something else; gender expression refers to the way a person communicates gender identity to others through behavior, clothing, hairstyles, voice or body characteristics. “Trans” is sometimes used as shorthand for “transgender.” 

While transgender is generally a good term to use, not everyone whose appearance or behavior is gender-nonconforming will identify as a transgender person. The ways that transgender people are talked about in popular culture, academia and science are constantly changing, particularly as individuals’ awareness, knowledge and openness about transgender people and their experiences grow.

Maybe our transgender "Umbrella is changing or at least expanding.  Let's welcome our new friends.  They are the future.  

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

I Love A success Story - Parents That Care

Boys In Dresses: 20 Celeb Parents Who Threw Gender Norms Out The Window Hollywood is becoming way more experimental and accepting when it comes to parenting and letting children make their own choices.

'Keep smiling and standing strong my love': Naomi Watts shares a sweet birthday tribute to her son Samuel Kai as he turns 11. 'Happy birthday Kai,' the post was captioned. 

In the second photo she posted was a black and white image of herself with Samuel Kai and her eldest son, Alexander 'Sasha' Pete, 12.

Naomi also shared a beautiful photo of Samuel Kai his father, Liev Schreiber, 52, who she split up with back in 2016. 

Naomi's celebrity friends commented on the post, wishing Samuel Kai a Happy Birthday. 

See more at the Daily Mail. 

Actors Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts let their kids explore boys and girls clothing, and they give them zero limits on what is appropriate to wear because fashion is just a concept after all. So in the pic above you can see their son Kai who dressed up as Harley Quinn because why not? Kids should be allowed to dress up as whatever fictional character they want to dress up as, regardless of that character's gender. Even if the child isn't gender fluid, or brought up that way, the whole point of dressing up is to be someone else, which is why the gender really shouldn't matter at all in this case.

Monday, July 27, 2020

Is It Crossdressing....

     If You Are Wearing Pants?

Tasteful, Feminine Pants Outfit

Wow, did Stana at Femulate hit on an important point last Saturday with her "Someday Funnies". One does not have to venture out socially, (remember when we did that) to realize that the uniform of the morning, day and evening for women, is pants. Here in Florida I see lots of shorts, ankle pants and a smattering of skirts. Personally I love skirts which are very conformable especially in this hot climate. Dresses are even advertised much of time as a "special occasion / cocktail / event" items.  I wore more dressed and skirts in one week on my cruise last year than I would typically wear in several months.

Google simply defines crossdress this way: verb, wear clothing typical of the opposite sex.

Personally I much prefer the term gender for the definition but that is not germane to this discussion. So the question is; if women seldom wear skirts/dresses is not the process of crossdressing nullified by the wearing skirts and dresses? 

Our ever present Velma came to our rescue with a great answer to the question:

YES, as long as you are wearing bra & panties! Heels or Maryjane's heeled pumps would complete the look.

Agree! Personally I prefer a less overt display and many times opt for blending as opposed to announcing an act many at best do not understand or outright find distasteful because of a lack of understanding.  

Stana's tongue-and-cheek question gives us all pause to rethink our presentation to still look feminine and blend.  Velma is 100% right.

Fashion layout note: The feminine Talbots' STRIPE GATHERED SLEEVE TOP is still available.  If interested, it runs small, has a single button in the back and I got mine for $19.99. That is a great saving down from the Talbots' $79.99 original price.  It look especially good with white pant/jeans.  Also see Susan wearing it at SusanAfter60 - I love the look with platform sneakers.  



Friday, July 24, 2020

Guest Post - Big Morning Out

Being stuck at home with a semi-supportive spouse has really been a challenge. I find myself getting up at 4:30, showering, putting on some light makeup, and making the first cup of coffee for the day dressed as Katy. It is such a relief! But by 7:30 AM I have to wash up and go back to drab before, if I time it just right, my spouse gets up. I find myself doing this little routine a couple of times during the week and I think it helps to keep me sane.

This morning, however, I traveled back in time to when I was 15 or 16. I got up early, put on my face, then jeans and a cute top and my short wig, and I took the trash and recycling out to the road! In the dark of the early morning. With no one around…I hoped. And then I returned to the house. Just like I did when I was 15 and venturing outside for the first time.

It made me think of the hundreds of little steps it takes to learn to deal with one’s transgender feelings. It’s not like you simply dress up and go out in public and that’s it…you are out to the world. Some of us have spent an entire lifetime coming out to the world…in tiny little steps… like taking out the trash at 5 AM.

So here I am in mid-pandemic. As a very lucky trans woman I’ve been to every major theater in Philadelphia for plays and concerts. I’ve had breakfast and lunch in the Reading Terminal Market with 500 of my new, best friends. I’ve been to private cocktail parties at Palm Beach mansions, and even visited the Philadelphia Home Show with at least a 1,000 other visitors.

And here I am…taking out the trash at 5 AM and feeling excited to have done it!


Thursday, July 23, 2020

Thomas Hobbs Quote - Divine Executive

I found the above quote at the Divina Ejecutiva (Divine Executive) site.  FIORELLA GARCIA-PACHECO is the creator and Editor at Divina Ejecutiva.  From my rough translation she self describes as  image and personal marketing adviser, teacher, influencer and columnist for Diario GestiĆ³n.  

There are some very interesting and beautiful fashion combinations on her site; enjoy.  

 In just three days I will finally be on vacation visiting my family and also today I was reunited with a group of old and good friends in life, but above all with two of those good friends, who go beyond time and distances .
This time I bring you a look in blue, combining different textures, such as these pants that I got through the Linio Peru page, the sweater and a blazer. Do not be afraid to combine textures, the truth is that I am not much to wear sweaters or sweaters for the office, but the cold is daring lately so I have had to get creative and forget a little about my own recommendations and make them look a bit more formal.

I put the contrast with the wallet and the shoes and although you already know that combining shoes, wallet and strap of the same color is a thing of the past, sometimes (only sometimes) because it can look good. This time I added a beautiful maxi-collar that although it is usually larger than what I usually wear, I did not feel it excessive.

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Feminine Differential - Style As Art

There is a feminine art to looking stylish, pulled together and casual.  Many times it comes down to simplicity and not oven thinking the outfit. 

Shop were you are proud to tell others where you found the outfit. Shop where there are a verity of sizes and choose the one that fits. If the item is to small/large, then no matter what you pay, it is a poor choice. If the item is a little out your budget and you really like it, ask is this an investment piece,  something that will get a lot of wear/use? I see purses, handbags and eyeglasses as that type of purchase.   

I do enjoy online shopping.  However, it only works where there is a simple and easy return method. You are purchasing an unknown material, and quality unless you have purchase the item before. The above stripe top/tunic was an impulse purchase from Amazon for only  $9.90. (Zeagoo Women Off The Shoulder Convertible Short Sleeve Casual Striped Tunic Top).  Well worth the price and looks great.

The white skirt is just a basic white jeans skirt.  

The Tory Burch purse is from a few season ago and I utilize it for business meeting where I need to carry my tablet and/or a portfolio for writing  This bag was an investment purchase. The Tory Burch thong/heeled sandals are from e-Bay.     

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

I Love A Success Story - I Had 4 Boys — Until ...

One of Them Told Me She Was Really a Girl

As early as 18 months old, Kimberly Shappley's son started showing signs he identified as female. Now, the Christian mom shares how she learned to embrace Kai's transition — for her child's happiness and safety.

From GoodHousekeeping.com

Apr 13, 2017

I remember one night when Kai was very young, and I was tucking her into bed. Her legs were cold and, concerned, I lifted the sheets, discovering she had taken a pair of panties off a baby doll and put them on herself. It was constricting her blood circulation and if she'd slept that way overnight, it could have become very dangerous. After that experience, I realized I could no longer ignore something very real about my child: My son, born Joseph Paul Shappley, is a girl.

I was raised as a devout, conservative Christian with strong Republican values in the South. It's a place where being different can not only be unforgiving, but unsafe. I was, and am, an active member of our local church. I used to lead a small ministry teaching Bible study, and I didn't support or condone those living the LGBTQ lifestyle. That was just part of the Christian makeup I'd been brought up to believe. I knew I'd instill those same principles in my children.

But all of my beliefs and convictions were brought into question when, at 18 months old, Kai began exhibiting very strong female characteristics. From the moment my child was born, everything about Kai was geared toward femininity. She would pull T-shirts down around her waist to make them into skirts. She would tie long-sleeved shirts around her head and pretend like it was long hair. I tried so hard to force her into wearing clothes with camouflage and superhero patterns, and I even gave her severe, flat-top haircuts. Kai has three other siblings who are boys, so it was also a very testosterone-filled family environment, which I thought might help. Everything was fishing and spitting and boy stuff. But Kai just continued to be Kai.

As a Christian mother raising a Christian family, it was a very difficult time for me. I wasn't ready to give in and allow Kai to transition socially — especially at such a young age. My internal struggle beat me up daily. I felt like I couldn't go against everything I'd been taught to believe, and yet I also couldn't let Kai live in such obvious agony. I wasn't ready to face the fact that my one-and-a-half-year-old child was a girl. That battle lasted for a couple years.

Read all of the story...

Yes, the emotional challenge has been great, but I'd rather face that challenge myself than have my child face it alone like so many transgender children have to because their parents won't let them transition. There's never been a moment of doubt or regret after making the choice to let Kai transition. I've learned too much about identity and faith in loving my beautiful daughter exactly the way she is. She's a loud, happy and joyful girl who expects that everybody's going to be kind and good. It's her persistent spirit that has enabled her to transition so young. She knows who she is and has no problem making sure that everyone else knows too.

Monday, July 20, 2020

The Golden Girls - Live Comedy Trio

The gentlemen behind drag comedy trio The Golden Gays NYC incorporate live music in their performances inspired by "The Golden Girls." Gerry Mastrolia, Jason B. Schmidt and Andy Crosten sat down with CNN to discuss the iconic TV show, its impact on the LGBTQIA+ community and the art of drag. #CNN #News

Fans of the hit show Golden Girls can now relive the fun at the popular  “Golden Girls LIVE! On Stage” drag show in NYC. 


“Golden Girls LIVE” is a drag parody created by Peter Mac and John Mac in 2003 as a tribute to the famous 80’s sitcom. When the show first hit the stage it played to sold out audiences in the West Village, featuring four characters who could perfectly impersonate the original actresses. 

Now, the original cast of “Golden Girls LIVE” are back with an all-new episode, complete with musical numbers. In this latest “lost” episode of The Golden Girls, Dorothy and Sophia try to find time for some mother-daughter bonding away from Rose and Blanche. This production at NYC’s Producers Club will have you humming the theme song all the way home. In fact, the show features several musical numbers including a sing-a-long. 

Taking place at Producer’s Club in the Grand Theater, the Off-Broadway show has recently extended its run until 2020. As their website puts it: “This 70-minute show adds to the humor with an all-male cast portraying the silver-haired ladies live on stage as if they had never left their Miami home.” When Ellen DeGeneres asked Betty White about the hilarious production, she said, “They play them better than we did!” And how can we pass up an endorsement like that? 

Saturday, July 18, 2020

5 Year Anniversary

Thursday was the five year anniversary of first my blog post! 

I hope in some small way I have challenged you to escape. The only way I ever made it past my front door was to challenge myself.  I told myself: You can ride around the block. You can attend a conference. You can plead with a fashion photographer to take your portrait. You can go and have dinner at a restaurant. Still - Every ESCAPE is an adventure. 

After each of my early escapes I always wonder why was as I so scared; why did I wait so long? 

As I approach 2,000,000 blog views and almost 2,000 post over the five years,  there are days I wonder why continue?  I love doing the research, and have fun sharing other's successes. Also, I will continue to address hypocrisy, prejudice and political dereliction when ever I see it.     

All I ask back is the occasional comment.  Please do not comment just to agree, although that would be nice occasionally but write to disagree and tell me and others why you think I am wrong. I have been on the wrong side of issues before and need to be call out when that happens.  

Thank you being a loyal reader and let us see what the next year brings. Wow, has this year has been been a doozy.



Friday, July 17, 2020

Flashback Friday - The Ballet

December 2018 - At The Ballet

I was reviewing some of my outings from 2018.  Reminiscing about the time when we traveled, and attended theater.  Let's all hope again soon.  

The photo above is from Burlington, Ontario's winter '18 holiday performance of the Nutcracker. There is is not a more beautiful seasonal event. 

I do not believe this photo was published before - Yes, one happy gal enjoying a beautiful evening on the town.

See the original post Everyone Is Beautiful At The Ballet.

Have a wonderful weekend, and stay safe.  

Thursday, July 16, 2020

Feminine Differential - Anklet

Can Men wear an ankle bracelet AKA Anklet?  

Fashion trends tend to have strange gender rules. For example, while women can readily wear anklets while going to the beach or attending festivals, many men feel as though they can’t. What is the case, then? Can guys wear anklets?

Absolutely yes, men can wear anklets and ankle bracelets. At this point, the only thing holding potentially-interested men back is the social stigma that may still exist in some parts of the population (but not all!).

Even with that stigma in place, there are still a number of anklets already for sale and directed towards men. Let’s dive into the dos and don’ts that keep so many men from experimenting with anklets and see if we can’t find an aesthetic or make that appeals to even the most hardened of beach-goer.

Read more... 

In summary, men should feel free to wear whatever kinds of jewelry interest them, including anklets. There are several styles of anklets available on the market today. If you find one that you like and what you’d feel comfortable wearing to the beach or at home, why not have a little fun?


I love wearing an anklet.  I started about 20 years ago and off-and-on wore one until I either lost or misplaced it. Recently I repurchased and love the look.  A subtle act of feminine differentially,  especially when the it is delicate or has a small charm.  Interesting, Amazon offers anklets, "2mm Rope Chain Anklet for Women & Men", so not just for women!

Before ordering or going out to purchase do measure the length you need and think a little loose; sexier.  I cannot wear the standard woman's length of 10" so opt for either having a jeweler make one to length or order a longer length.  

The purchase process can turn into a fun outing as you select the delegate chain you like and have it made while you wait.  After the jeweler finishes, put it on and wear it proudly while you continue to shop.  

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

3 Wardrobe Hacks

1.  The Awkward Girl’s Guide to Midi Skirts and How to Wear

As you can see, Amber on the right of this photo has obviously been spending a bit too much time on Pinterest lately. She’s been looking at all the photos of cool girls in full skirts and slouchy sweaters, and she’s decided that she could be one of those girls, too. She’s wrong about that, though: and Amber-on-the-left knows it. That’s why she’s smiling smugly: because Amber-on-the-left knows what you’ve all long suspected – that those Pinterest girls are magical fashion unicorns. They don’t actually exist outside of Pinterest, and if you try to copy them, you’ll just end up looking like Amber-on-the-right, and you don’t want that, do you?

This tip is one that most people probably know, and it basically says that if you’re wearing volume on the bottom, you can’t ALSO have volume on the top, and vice-versa. If you, too, are a magical fashion unicorn, you might just be able to pull it off, but if you’re just a regular person like me, you’ll probably find that circle-cut midi skirts will look better worn with a top that’s both fitted and cropped (or tucked, in this case). You need to define the waist to make the volume work, basically, so anything that can be described using the words “slouchy” or “oversized” is best left to the Pinterest girls – or worn with a midi skirt that’s more fitted:

See more Midi Skirt suggestions at forever Amber 

2. Proper Fit

Hem.  I’ve heard Stacy & Clinton say that for most people (read: not super tall people with really long legs) the hem of the shirt should end around mid hip, and not too far past the crotch of your pants.  This is to elongate the leg line.  One of my friends wore really long tops because she was trying to hide her midsection, but she was actually creating a weird silhouette for herself and accentuating her midsection instead.

I bought the top in the picture on the left years ago, not realizing that it was way too long for me.  And even after I realized it was too long I still wore it for a while thinking it looked okay.  But now when I look at the difference between that top and a top that hits at the proper part of my hip, I can’t believe I wore the long top.  It looks kind of unpolished compared to a shorter one.

See more at "Putting Me Together" 


3.  Professional Help (my suggestion) 

Not the kind where you sit on a couch and talk; "and how did that make you feel...".  The help from a professional makeup / image  consultant.  Are you still doing your eyes the same way as you did in the '70's?  It is time to go modern, seek and see what is in with the latest trends.  Make up counters abound at the mall and private studios that will be happy to help. Plus it is a lot of fun receiving all the attention.  Classic, girl time. 

Is your closet running over and you have nothing to wear?  Have a professional wardrobe consultant to go through your closet and see what works best on you. 

Here is a great story from a few years back: 

A good friend had an professional image consultant in to check her professional look before transitioning on the job. Part of the service meant going through her closet.  After building quite a pile of "Good Will" donations she commented, "Wow, these are going to make some hooker very happy".  

Nothing like a critical eye to help.     


Tuesday, July 14, 2020

When Will Men Wear Women's Clothing...

Saicharan Bait

As women wear men's clothing today?

Written by Saicharan Bait in Quora

Men will start wearing anything they want, but only after they stop caring about what people will say.

Men will start wearing anything they want, but only after they give away their fragile masculinity.

Men will start wearing anything they want, but only after they think of themselves before the society.

Men will start wearing anything they want, but only after they assess fashion history.

Men will start wearing anything they want, but only after accepting themselves as humans not just males.

Men will start wearing anything they want, but only after they understand that becoming feminine is not a sign of weakness.

Men will start wearing anything they want, but only after they become manly enough to accept their feminine sides.

Men will start wearing anything they want, but only after women stop criticizing them for not being manly enough.


Let me ask a question: What would you wear if there was no recrimination? 

Monday, July 13, 2020

I Love A success Storie - Valentina Sampaio (Sport's Illustrated)

Sports Illustrated's First Trans Model

Twice I have featured this beautiful transgender model (March 2, 2017 and  again March 5, 2020). Read what CNN published:

From CNN Style

Published 11th July 2020
By Kiely Westhoff

She is no stranger to making history. In 2017 she became the first trans woman to appear on the cover of Vogue Paris. Two years later, she was the first openly transgender model to be hired by Victoria's Secret. Now in 2020, 23-year-old Valentina Sampaio continues to break barriers in the modeling industry by becoming the first trans woman to be featured by Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

Sports Illustrated is a respected brand in the modeling world. In the 56 years since special edition's first issue, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit has produced some of the most successful names in the business. Sampaio is joining the elite ranks alongside stars like Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks.

In Sampaio's open essay on what it means to be part of SI, she praises the magazine for creating another issue that champions "a diverse set of multitalented, beautiful women in a creative and dignified way." She says she is "excited and honored to be part of the iconic Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue." While it means a lot to her to represent SI, she is even more inspired by the significance it has for the LGBTQ community as a whole.

Sampaio, who hails from a fishing village in northern Brazil, is using her platform to fight for trans rights. She explains that the beauty of her home country is contrasted by the brutal hatred towards the transgender community. She says that in 2019 alone, 129 transgender people were murdered in Brazil.

Her success as a model has not come easily, fighting an uphill battle against discrimination, but she realizes her status gives her the opportunity to make a positive difference. Beyond that, Sampaio believes it is her responsibility to stand up for Brazil's trans population. "I recognize that I am one of the fortunate ones," she writes in her essay, "and my intention is to honor that as best I can."

Sampaio says she tries to catalyze change by leading by example and spreading love and acceptance one person at a time. "I believe that better people build a better world for all of us, and I stand for any and everyone who, like me, suffers prejudice for not fitting into society's standards."

Her message for the world is one of resounding empathy. She vows to persevere in her mission for equality and to continue to embolden people who are marginalized by society. Sampaio expresses her gratitude to Sports Illustrated for helping her inspire a spirit of inclusivity and kindness.

"Thank you, SI, for seeing and respecting me as I truly am. For understanding that more than anything, I am human. Thank you for supporting me in continuing to spread a message of love, compassion and unity for ALL."

Saturday, July 11, 2020

Openness - Jason Collins

Jason Collins, NBA Center

Jason Collins is the first openly gay athlete on an American sports team who wrote about his coming out story for Sports Illustrated in 2013.

Friday, July 10, 2020

How To Dress Up A Pair of Shorts - Summer '20

Shorts are not just for yard work. For a summer evening dinner, I am thinking Palm Beach, nothing will looks cooler and more chic than dress shorts. This is an outfit you could wear to an outdoor summer event, wine tasting, or a Sunday brunch!  

First take into consideration your legs and be prepared by having a semblance of a tan and be neat; enough said on that. The yes/no on shorts pretty much comes down to this question: How do I feel about my legs? If you like them, or are relatively comfortable with them, then you can find a pair of shorts to fit and flatter. If you don’t, then skip the shorts. There are countless alternatives. Cute, comfortable culottes, maxi skirts and midi skirts might be more flattering choices, and they’re just as practical and comfortable.

On what to wear with shorts, choose a combination of top and shorts that complement and do not clash. Anything in basic black/white is easy to work and especially good for traveling; think cruise. White is the perfect summer neutral. It goes with every color under the sun. White also pairs well with prints and patterns, from floral designs to plaids to prints. 

As I researched wearing dress shorts many of the style sites suggested "Let the shoes do the work." We have discussed how just changing the shoes can totally re-work an outfit, so check out above how the shoes can go from sight-seeing,  day shopping to a summer dinner.  However, heels or strappy sandals can pull everything together. It would be easy to err to the to casual, so a little planning with accessories can also go a long way also.

Here is a great article on "How to Wear Shorts" by NADA MANLEY with a figure flattering style guide.  
Stick to what you are comfortable and wear it with confidence! 

Casual day in San Juana, Puerto Rico and on the ship. 
Last year's cruise.  

From Femulate - Wearing New York & Company