Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Life's Reality - Help

Many of you may think I live an ideal, utopian transgender life. We all know that is as rare as seeing a unicorn in the wild. My blog title epitomizes many aspects of Rhonda’s life in one form or another. One of which was escaping a cult-like religion; a someday discussion.

There is irony in my current situation as was just pointed out by a friend; keep reading. 

According to CBS News, the "mean male life expectancy is 76.1 years"; females more. Yes, some gender realities one cannot ignore/escape. These numbers have been steadily improving and personally, I am amazingly healthy taking into account my family history. Regardless of your belief structure, life is a journey with an indeterminate destination. As you get closer to the trip’s end, although you may not have arrived yet, the terminus is within sight.  

I turned 72 this year. This fact is causing me to ask, how I want to spend the time left? I catch myself being less invested in solving problems I had nothing to do with creating. My situational empathy is not what it was in the past. I simply do not have the time and my life list still has unchecked items. 

I am facing the situation of helping someone close recognize a hoarding issue. Compulsive hoarding is a disorder when the emotional attachment to objects far exceeds the motive to use/organize/discard the items. More is never enough. Thankfully, the items collected are expensive craft equipment/supplies; not old magazines, newspapers, or trash. Nevertheless, these expensive items have reduced a 4,000 sq.ft home to about 800 sq. ft. of living space; dangerous and uncleanable.   

It has been over five years since I have been able to entertain or have my kids over, even for holidays.

At my current age taking my time, weeks, months, and possibly years to return a once beautiful home to a reasonable livable condition is an exploit of my precious time. I am gregarious and want to live in a place where I can invite friends and family over for dinners, a glass of wine, and cookouts. I want to spend time planning / taking cruises or vacations to destinations like London, Paris, Rome, Italy, or the islands.  

Maybe I could be more positive if the issue was as real to the other person as it is to me. Safety, health, cleanliness, and well-being are paramount. My personal safety / health could be at risk and professional advice / counseling is demanding that I step away. That is not my normal modus operandi and I am conflicted as to my next steps, although serious discussions are underway.

My first step: Lease a beach home as a place to live for the next year and to help as i can with the clean out.  More on that later.    

I have plenty of my own mixed-up emotions and financial insecurity to consider in executing this solution. I am facing some very tough decisions over the next few months and any suggestions would be appreciated. Anyone with experience with this please comment; what did you do?

Wish me well.    

Oh - Was that a unicorn that walked by?  


  1. While you have your health do as much as your energy permits. At our age our health hangs by a thread and it could take a reversal at any moment. Live like there is no tomorrow.
    As Art Rust Jr. would sign off on his radio show.
    "Yesterday is a cancelled check
    Tomorrow is a promissory note
    Today is the only day you have so live it to the fullest."

  2. I am almost 20 years younger than you, but I hope, in due time, to get there.
    S I can give little advise, but Iam sure you will make the right decision. I wish you luck!
    Thanks for blogging, it helps a lot!