"Stay With Me"

We are all in shock by another insidious school shooting. Also, if you are not in "Shock" over the virulent attack on our community, post mass shooting, you should. Ignoring the most obvious cause/effect (guns and political inaptitude), we have become an easy target. (pun intended). As my friend wrote me last week "The story played right into Jessie Watters bend to hurt trans-people."

Medical shock is when there is a life threatening condition or pain that occurs depriving the body of sufficient blood flow to meet essential organ functions. The body moves into survival mode. 

Have you ever wondered why medical professionals say, "Stay with me"?  

According to Reddit: "The Medical staff monitors consciousness, simply because conscious patients are easier to treat. You can ask questions, you can find out where it hurts. You can ensure the airway is clear and that they is breathing. You can monitor mental state. In "real life it is done casually and encouragingly. Another reason is to calm a patient with chat."

It appears that our community is in such a deep state of shock that consciousness is waning. Are we going to let this frontal attack land so brutally, that we will slip into retreat and social death? That is what our enemies want; invisibility, then disappearance. 

Complacency is the enemy. Coming out / being out may be our best defense. There are more people that claim to have seen a ghost than have seen a transgender person. Although ghost can be friendly, transgenders are being painted as monsters. The world must know we are not mobsters! We are their bankers, lawyers, doctors, engineers, ministers, fathers... When inaccurate verbal assaults are made do you speak up? 

The "stay with me!', implies we will die [socially], if there is no consciousness.  

Political Cartoons 8-31-2025

 

Mass Shootings - “Where the Blame Lies” (updated)

Are you kidding me?

Tucker Carlson: "Transgenderism is the most dangerous extremist movement in the US."

The Minnesota Star Tribune: "Slanted and dangerous anti-LGBTQ rhetoric has flooded social media in connection with the shooter’s gender identity."

WTF - I had 9118 views today - Not one person has commented to speak out for our community!

__________________________

Google AI:

Data shows that the overwhelming majority of mass shooters are cisgender men. While highly visible in the news, transgender people are responsible for less than 1% of mass shootings, and they are four times more likely to be victims of violent crime than cisgender people. 

NBC News:

The Gun Violence Archive, which maintains a database of shootings, estimates that 0.11% of known suspects in mass shootings were transgender over the past decade, said Mark Bryant, the archive’s executive director. The archive defines a mass shooting as one in which four or more people are injured or killed, not counting the shooter. There were many more instances in which trans people were victims, Bryant added. 

MSN:

Kennedy, who leads the Department of Health and Human Services, said his agency is “launching studies on the potential contribution of some of the SSRI drugs and some of the other psychiatric drugs that might be contributing to violence.”

Sen. Tina Smith (D-Minnesota) accused Kennedy of using the tragedy to spread disinformation to push a political agenda. “I dare you to go to Annunciation School and tell our grieving community that, in effect, guns don’t kill kids, antidepressants do,” she wrote on X. “Just shut up. Stop peddling bulls--t.”

According to a US Government Site: 

From August 1, 1966, to November 6, 2023, there were 184 publicly targeted fatal MS (3.2 per year) with 1342 total deaths and 2084 nonfatal injuries. Multiple firearms were present in 96 events (52.2%) (mean 3.1 per event); handguns were the most common firearm type (145 MS [78.8%] involved a handgun) followed by 55 (29.2%) that involved an AW, but only 13 (7.1%) involved AWs exclusively. Incidents with AWs (vs without) were more likely to have multiple firearms (45 [81.8%] vs 51 [39.5%]) and shooters with no firearms experience

Hoodie Jeans Jacket

 

I have a short vacation planned for mid-September, New England. Thinking (hoping) for a cool break, I saw this denim hoodie on Amazon.  I am seeing possibilities, with shorts in South Florida later this fall.  Hoodie and shorts - what is wrong with that picture. 

Also, some morning on the motorcycle ride a jackets feels good. I think a good option.  

I don't think I have ever owned a hoodie. However, this one had appeal for cool mornings at a open-air cafe or walk. I received it today and the one I ordered has weird coloring, so back it went. I reordered a different one (below) and hoping for the best. I love the fit and pullover style. The 3/4 pushup sleeves are my favorite.  

Amazon - Women's Half Zip Denim Hoodie Pullover Jacket Jean Sweatshirt Tops

Here are several styling tips. 

• OCCASIONS: The Fashion Women's Half Zip Pullover Denim Hoodie Is Versatile For Various Occasions, Offering A Blend Of Casual Comfort And Stylish Flair. It Can Be Worn For Everyday Activities, Casual Outings, And Relaxed Social Gatherings.
  
  
• MATCHING: The Cute Womens Hoodies Pullover Presents Limitless Styling Options. Combine It With Distressed Jeans And Sneakers For A Laid-back Feel, Or Drape It Over Sleek Black Leggings And Ankle Boots To Achieve A Sophisticated Urban Look.
  
  
• DESIGN: This Thin Women Zip Up Jean Jacket Hoodie Features A Distinctive Drawstring Hood And Half-Zipper, While The Stretchable Cuffs And Waist Elastic Rope Ensure A Comfortable Fit And Unrestricted Mobility.

Sarah McBride Speaks Out

 Transgender Democrat accuses Trump of 'all-out assault' against 'American democracy'

Democratic Rep. Sarah McBride of Delaware

Democratic Rep. Sarah McBride of Delaware, who identifies as a transgender woman, accused President Donald Trump of waging an attack against "American democracy."

In a Monday night post on the lawmaker's @Rep_McBride X account declared:

"This president is taking notes from his favorite dictator. Let’s be clear: a president with popular policies wouldn’t need to illegally gerrymander districts, ban voting machines, or abolish vote-by-mail," 

 "This is an all-out assault not just on free and fair elections—but on American democracy itself." 

___________________

Is there anyone else but me thinking that Pete Buttigieg and Sarah McBride would make a wonderful match-up to run in three years? Just how bad would Trump have to screw up for this to happen?  OH - He already has.

Go Pete and Sarah!

Watch a clip of Sarah McBride on The Conversation with Dasha Burns

Skechers D'Lites

 

My Favorite - Skechers Women's D'Lites Fresh Start Sneaker Memory Foam, Fashion, Lace-up (comes in Wide)

Amazon 

According to Google AI: Can Men Wear Women's D'Lites? 

Universal Appeal:

The D'Lites are an iconic fashion sneaker with a style that transcends gender, appealing to a broad range of users.  

Comfort:

Many wearers, including men, find them extremely comfortable for various activities and all-day wear, such as walking, biking, and general housework. 

The Gap - Two Transgender Women

Older Transgender Woman Meets Young Transgender Woman  

These two transgender women shared how their experiences differed half a century apart...

June 29, 2022:

To celebrate Pride Month we filmed a special episode of The Gap with two incredible transgender women. We brought together Caroyln Mercer, 75, and Cambell Kenneford (  / cambellkenneford  , 27 to talk about how things have changed over time and their experiences. 

Political Cartoons 8-24-2025

 

Not All Girls....

 Not All Girls Are Made Of Sugar Coaster

Then and Now - Stana

 

Our beloved Stana from The famous Femulate Blog!

_____________________

Here are my Now and Then photos - 40 years apart! 
 Thanks Stana for sharing. 

Feminine Differential - Paperbag Waist

Paperbag Pants

You think pants are not feminine?  Think again... For blending purposes I tend to wear more pants these days than skirts and dresses. I am in a unique position working part-time at a mall store catering exclusively to women, There I see what women wear. Typically pants, short and few skirts. 

In my case, I am always looking for ways to make the pants look, more feminine. The paperbag waist look helps. 

Google AI describes the look:

Paperbag waist pants are a type of high-waisted pants that feature a gathered or ruffled waistband, often cinched with a tie or belt. The excess fabric above the cinched waist creates a "paperbag" effect. 

Styling Tips:

•  Pair with fitted or cropped tops: This helps balance the volume of the pants and highlight the waist.
• Tuck in blouses or sweaters: Creates a polished look and emphasizes the paperbag waist.
• Layer with slim jackets or blazers: Avoid bulky layers that can overwhelm the silhouette.
• Wear with shoes that add height: Heels, wedges, or platform shoes can help elongate the legs, especially with wider leg styles.
• Experiment with different tying methods: A simple knot or a feminine bow can add personalized flair. 

I found this look a few years back in a pair of white jeans, short-shorts. The look is great and blousing a top added. Do you have any Paperbag pants / shorts? What do you think?

If shopped  Lascana this morning and found these lovelies. I love their tag line;

 "It's A Woman's World"

White Graphic print t-shirt  with the two faces

Black high waisted paperbag pants

2 pk eyelet tops (white and Black also Rose and Mint available

Paperbag waist ankle pants

Then and Now - Elaine Saunders

'80s and 2024

 From Flicker: This is another of my very old photos from the early 80s and restored by the lovely Tiffany. I do remember wearing this pretty navy plaid dress and loved the square neckline and cute short puffed sleeves, which gave it a sweet young style. I remember dressing as a girl very regularly around this time and had started contacting others via WOTV magazine adverts. In those pre-internet days, it was such a lifeline.

My Note:  I found Elaine's lovely photos of Flicker.  Her photos were my inspiration for the "Then and Now" series.  I assume that the material is available for use being in the public domain.  If anyone is unhappy my my research and photo use, please "comment" me and it will be promptly removed.  

Sorry I did not get more real responses.  Just trying for something personal and interesting.  

Terence Stamp - Actor in "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert."

 A Cock In A Frock On A Rock"

Terence Stamp, British actor

Terence Stamp, the British actor who became synonymous with Swinging London in the 1960s, has died, his family said Sunday, according to Reuters. He was 87 years old.

Stamp first came to prominence when he took on the titular role in the 1962 film “Billy Budd.” The black and white drama, directed by Peter Ustinov, who also starred, saw Stamp nominated for an Academy Award for best supporting actor - the only Oscar nomination of his lengthy career.

His many screen credits also included his role as drag queen Bernadette in the 1990s Australian comedy “The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.”

The line "a cock in a frock on a rock" is a famous quote from the movie The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. It's delivered by the character Bernadette Bassenger, played by Terence Stamp, according to IMDb. 

The line is a sarcastic and witty remark made in response to the idea of a performance taking place on a rock formation. The movie, released in 1994, follows three drag performers as they journey across the Australian Outback in a bus named Priscilla. 

Until Recently, The Question Remained Theoretical...

My note: Please if you don't read any article this year read this one.  It is both insightful and terrifying.   

The Nazis Made A Horrifying Move In 1933. I'm Terrified Trump Is Now Doing The Exact Same Thing.

 By: Ali Moss

Mar 23, 2025

“Until recently, the question remained theoretical. But it’s not an exaggeration to say that President Trump is running plays straight out of Hitler’s playbook".

E. at the Queer Britain
museum in London

 [The] GOP operatives spent an astounding $222 million on anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ+ advertising in the 2024 cycle — more than on housing, immigration and the economy combined. Since Inauguration Day, the drumbeat of discriminatory actions and executive orders against trans Americans has made my heart race and kicked my anxiety into overdrive. The White House has refused to issue passports reflecting applicants’ gender identities, attacked providers of gender-affirming care, banned trans service members from the military, prevented schools from supporting students who transition, eliminated protections against spying on LGBTQ+ citizens, regulated bathroom use, benched trans kids from sports, transferred trans women into men’s prisons and targeted LGBTQ+ civil servants. It has also deleted references to trans and nonbinary people on government websites from the State Department and CDC to the Park Service’s page for the Stonewall National Monument.

...

Until recently, the question remained theoretical. But it’s not an exaggeration to say that President Trump is running plays straight out of Hitler’s playbook. And it’s not just the hypervigilance I inherited that makes me take note. Trans kids like E. are canaries in the coal mine. If we don’t stand up for them and stop Trump in his tracks, history makes patently clear where this path leads. You may not bear the brunt of this persecution yourself. Your children might be fine. But, as M. Gessen argues with ferocious eloquence:

The reason you should care about this is not that it could happen to you but that it is already happening to others.”

That should be enough.

Read all...

...

Political Cartoons 8-17-2025

 

We Have to be Visible

 

Now and Then - Caitlin Ann

 

Caitlin Ann

The "Red Dress" photo is from an AIDS benefit in Bethlehem, PA called the "SnoBall."  It was a black-tie affair with about a hundred men, 15 cis couples, and a dozen of "us."  The photo is from 2008.  I had the gown custom made for me. (It was the only ball gown I've ever owned,). Hair and makeup by Amanda Richards.  The ball was held at the historic Hotel Bethlehem which was all dressed up for Christmas. There was a silent auction and then dinner and dancing.  My first time in a gown and my first time to such a wonderful affair, and the first time I was asked to dance by a handsome, tall, man wearing a tuxedo! Cait

Now and Then - Daze 30 years

 

Daze from UK

Thanks so much for participating Daze.  Love the smile... Thirty years - you look great. 

Want to see more?  E-mail your "Now and Then" photo.

Then and Now - Last Request

 We all know the old joke; "How many crossdressers does it take to change a light bulb (remember those)?" Three is the answer. One to change to bulb and two to take the pictures. I will give it one more request. There are lots of photos out there. Please share. I was thinking this would be a fun walk down memory lane.

Promise - Last try.  

Second Try

I am thinking this will be fun and give you a chance to share.  I would like to start a series, "Then and Now" with you sharing a "then" photo and a "now" photo. Why, because we are beautiful and our exuberance for life needs to be shared.  

Forward photos to rhonda.williams.fl  at Gmail. You know what goes in the "at" place and add a ".com" to the end.  Include the photos dates or year for the timeline.  You could also just send a link to your Flicker treasure trove; use the contact tab.  

Please participate even if your photos are stay-at-home and feel free to add a descriptive paragraph if you like. This will only add to this anthology. We all have so much to share.  

The world has to know to we exist and have not, or never will hide. 

Jeans with a Feminine Differential

 

Many will think that jeans lack a feminine differential.  Were they not originally men's work pants?  

According to The History of Denim & the Origin of Jeans:

Denim jeans have become an integral part of everyday life, so much so that most of us never stop to question where our favorite pair came from, how they were manufactured, nor their history.
Despite the range of innovative materials available, denim remains one of the most versatile, durable and highly sought after fabrics on the market. Jeans transcends gender, age, and class – with most people owning more pairs than there are days in the week. Their appeal will always be timeless but the design and the fabric technology involved will forever evolve with the times.
Now, new forms of ‘sustainable’ denim are emerging as manufacturers respond to the consumer demand for ecological fabrics as well as environmentally sound production processes.

What remain a question is how to make a simple everyday item have a "Feminine Differential."  The above jeans has three.  Did you fine all three?

Skinny - Although these were to be renders out-of-style, they are still seen everywhere and to me, look better than their must-have wide-leg. My favorite style.

Button front - I love this look and does provide an unmistaken "girl" look. According to Levi: Women's button-fly jeans offer a timeless and vintage-inspired look that never goes out of style. This subtle detail effortlessly elevates any outfit. 

High Rise: - Above the belly-button, they act as hold everything in place and add to the slim look. According to Google AI: High-rise jeans offer several benefits, including defining the waist, elongating the legs, and providing a comfortable, supportive fit. They can also be a fashionable choice, aligning with current trends and offering versatility in styling. 

Tops of a feminine nature, even T-shirts, and just the right sneakers, all can add to your look.  Amazon: SweatyRocks Women's Striped Blouse Puff Short Sleeve Collar V Neck.

Political Cartoons 8-10-2025

 

Then and Now

 

  Then (1981) and Now (2025)

I know that over the years many of us have documented our "ESCAPES". I am fortunate to have saved many of my old photos, some professional, and other candid. 

As youth escapes us we, through skill and determination, still are very beautiful.  

I would like to start a series, "Then and Now" with you sharing a "then" photo and a "now" photo. Why, because we are beautiful and our exuberance for life needs to be shared.  

Forward photos to rhonda.williams.fl  at Gmail. You know what goes in the "at" place and add a ".com" to the end.  Include the photos dates or year for the timeline. 

Please participate even if your photos are stay-at-home and feel free to add a descriptive paragraph if you like. This will only add to this anthology. We all have so much to share.  

Political Cartoons 8-3-2025

 

Who You Are...

 

Never forget that our joy, our pleasure, and the unique delight and connection we can find through our queer and trans identities are not only some of the things that will help us the most to get us through hard times, they're also some of our most powerful forms of rebellion.” —Heather Corinna (they/them) is a queer, agender author, Scarleteen founder, educator, activist and unabashed pleasure-seeker.

National Girlfriend Day

 

Origin and Meaning:

The exact origin of National Girlfriends Day is a bit unclear, but it gained popularity in the early 2000s. It's believed to have originated as a way for women to show gratitude and appreciation for their female friends, or "gal pals". 

Thank you Catie for being such a great "gal pal".
Photo taken at dinner a few weeks ago in Palm Beach.

Get all dressed up, grab your girlfriend and "ESCAPE" tonight. Could even be your partner.

Was He Involved?

 

There is Guilt by Association...

My Note:  This strikes very close to home. It all took place in Palm Beach County.  By sheer luck and a well timed timed move, my youngest daughter could have been involved. The right age and look to be recruited, she was to attend the high school where many of the underage girls were recruited. 

HuffPost: Virginia Giuffre's Family Reacts To Trump's Comments About The Late Epstein Accuser

Yes, Trump has now admitted there were underage girls working at Mar-a-Lago club. I believe the files will bear this out. He is now attempting to get ahead of these revelations. My question, why were they there?  With Trumps close friendship Epstein and Trump's existing conviction on sexual mis-conduct, one could assume misconduct of the most egregious nature; "Guilt by Association".

Could my very own daughter have been swept up?  How would you feel about your daughters being swept up?  Would this matter? Does this matter?

_____________________

Here are more details from CNN: Trump’s Epstein nightmare worsens amid new revelations and a GOP revolt

There is no evidence that Trump did anything wrong or illegal in his interactions with Epstein. But days of stalling by the White House and new disclosures drove speculation to a fever pitch over their relationship in the 1990s and early 2000s, long before the wealthy financier was charged with sex trafficking and abuse and died in prison in 2019.

The frantic confluence of events Wednesday underscored Trump’s failed attempts to put a lid on the Epstein drama, the most serious challenge to his authority over the MAGA base in either of his administrations. In fact, the storm is now gathering its own momentum, and it’s increasingly hard to see how the president calms it.

Read More...

White Shirt and Jeans - A Basic

 Loft - Cotton Blend Everyday Relaxed Pocket Shirt

Crisp and classic, our LOFT Shirting Collection makes pulled-together polish easy-going and fresh. Point collar. Button front. Long sleeves with button cuffs. Patch chest pocket. Shirttail hem.

Amazon  - Women's Casual Button Down Shirts Long Sleeve Oversize Blouse Loose Shirt Dress with Side Pockets

Design: oversize shirts for women, shirt dress,solid color, long sleeve, button up, loose fit, side slit, 2 side pockets, curved hem, high low hem blouse

Talbots - Jegging Crops - Color - Ciara Wash - 77% Cotton, 22% Polyester, 1% Spandex

Design - The  jeans meets leggings in a cropped (25")  and hem you'll love. Features a sleek high waist and versatile skinny leg. Crafted with five-pocket styling and a hint of stretch for the perfect, most flattering fit. An easy option for warm weather. Sale - $74.99 and 1/2 off.

Dressing As A woman Fulltime - Video

 

Being

Ten Years in Retrospect...

Definition Being: 

The nature or essence of a person. (Oxford Language) Also indicates that the “existence” of some situation is ongoing. 

My very first post, ten years ago, contained only the graphic and phrase, "I love being a girl." Very prophetic for someone who was just starting to escape on a regular/daily basis; still very much living in two worlds.  

Clandestine escapes were still part of my MO. Hiding a truth from others in the same manner I was hiding the same truth from myself.   

Over the millenniums many terms have been used to describe those who are gender variant; i.e. transgender, crossdresser, non-binary,  gender non-conforming (English), two-spirit, Hijra (India Pakistan), Calalai, Calabai, and Bissu (Bugis society in Sulawesi, Indonesia) and many more across the globe.  A universal concept. The words (nouns) describe a nature of being.  

For many years, when ask, I described myself as "just a crossdresser". When I was actually giving a descriptive name to my act of "Being a Girl". To start, there were short trips into the land of femininity that became extended stays with employment. Now residency.  

In the past 10 years have I undergone a M-to-F transition? I don't see it that way. The "essence of  my person" has not changed; only the daily outward appearances. Sometimes this is manifest with clothing of a complete feminine differential. Other times not so much. No matter how I am dressed my nature is still within me. 

I have long white hair that I wear in a ponytail.  

All of the jeans I own are cut in some feminine way. I own many t-shirts that are either scoop, V-neck or graphic. I had to dig, a few weeks ago, to find non-feminine underwear for a Doctor's visit. There are lots of panties (mostly Soma) in varying styles and colors. With makeup / no-makeup, the honorific (a title or word implying or expressing status) "Ma'am", is spoken almost exclusively. 

When I described myself as a crossdresser, It is easy to get caught up in the performance aspect of the clothing, makeup, high heels etc. As I look back, the act of crossdressing and going out was only done to validate the essence of the femininity. "I Loved Being a Girl!"   

Ten years of writing, blogging, has taught me a lot. At my age and status, I am looking for simplicity. Absolutes are far less absolute. The universe is allowing me to "be" and I wish the same for you. 

Full-time. Part-Time. Occasionally. Let's understand that the "Escape" terminology is irrelevant. It is time we stop deceiving ourselves. Why do we do what we do?  Simple: "We love being a girl." 

 

Political Cartoons 7-27-2025