What should you wear to work if you’re nonbinary?

 

According to Mx. Olivares, government needs
 to embrace the idea of people wearing
“whatever makes them feel powerful
and confident
and secure." Credit...


Clement Pascal for The New York Times

How nonbinary professionals thread the needle of getting dressed for the office.

By Shane O’Neill

It may not be the most pressing question that gender-nonconforming people face on the job, but with approximately 1.2 million L.G.B.T.Q. Americans identifying as nonbinary, employers and employees alike are exploring what professional attire can look like.

“I think people treat me with more dignity when I dress more masculinely, but people are way nicer to me when I dress more femininely,” said El Layla Johnson, 33, a former restaurant server who is now a therapist.

For Mx. Johnson, getting dressed for work has been a struggle since adolescence.

“I just feel like there’s a manual or rule book that people receive and that my copy got lost in the mail,” said Mx. Johnson, who, like many nonbinary people, uses the pronouns they and them.

Mx. Johnson recalled regularly crying while getting dressed for work at an upscale restaurant in Seattle. It wasn’t just that they found the restaurant’s dress code to be ugly (though they did). Mx. Johnson had a hard time finding clothes that fit at all.

“I’m six feet tall, I’ve always had really big feet and wide shoulders but a small waist and a really big butt,” they said. “And so it is not easy for me to find clothing in the men’s section or the women’s section that fits me well.”

Cooper Howell, an actor and bartender
 who sometimes opts for a kilt instead of jeans 

Now, as a therapist who works with L.G.B.T.Q. patients, Mx. Johnson finds that their own agender identity can be an asset. “The fact that I have a rat tail and piercings and tattoos, I actually believe that people might feel more comfortable with me or relate to me more easily,” they said.

Deciding what’s appropriate for work can be fraught for employees of any gender, especially in this post-lockdown-but-still-Zooming “power casual” moment. But many nonbinary people report unique pressures that accompany choosing a work outfit.

For video call sessions, Mx. Johnson usually opts for simplicity. “I pick one shirt and I wear it all week and I hang it on the back of my office chair,” they said. “And that is great because it just takes so much of the consideration out of it.”

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“The nonbinary people in your workplace have so much to give,” Mx. Dunham said. “Don’t let stumbling over pronouns or the dress code make it difficult for what are going to be some of your best employees.”