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Friday, August 16, 2024

You Can Be Both


 

Don’t Be So Worried


My Note:  Casual with the bent to androgynous is my daily look.  I am "Ma'am" more than "Sir" and enjoy every moment as both. With that said, nothing beats an elegant event or evening out in Palm Beach. However, being myself every day is all about living a full life.  You can be both.  

I would say that the single biggest feeling holding girls back from expressing just a bit more girliness than they currently are is worry/fear. Girls are worried that strangers that they have never met, nor will ever meet again will see the girliness and judge them for it.

The truth is that the vast majority of people that you encounter on a day-to-day basis are consumed by their own world behind the screen of their own worries and fears. As a result, they won’t even see the pink lip balm, nude eyeliner, or clear nail polish that you are too afraid to try out.

Girlfriend, here is my challenge to you. Make a list of three small/subtle girly things that you have avoided while going out into the world. If you are a new girl and can’t think of three things, then use my list in the paragraph above (pink lip balm, nude eyeliner, and clear nail polish). Next week you will pick 3 days and on each of those days do just one of those girly things that scares you.

I am sure that nobody will even notice or make any remark. After each of your outings, I want you to come back and share the girly thing you tried and what the response was so that other girls can see that they don’t have anything to worry about.

By the way, I do a variation of this exercise with the girls I work with directly as a way to help grow their girly confidence. Hugs.

This post was created by the talented Candie Hart and originally appeared on her Tumblr blog. It is reproduced here with her kind permission. Be sure to check out more about Candie at the end of the post and give her some Pink Femme love.


In the same way that a girl can be boyish, boys can be girly.  I realize that our modern society, though sometimes archaic, doesn’t necessarily view it that way.  And yes, there are countries that strictly forbid it, sadly.  Yet, you are free to be both male and girly.  It’s your decision because it’s your right to choose how you portray yourself.  From the way you dress, to the way you act, to the way you talk, to the way you think.

_______________________

About three weeks ago, I took a personal road trip to a nearby town to do some liquor shopping.  I love Irish Whiskey and Scotch, sometimes a fine sipping Rum, but the local stores are ridiculous in pricing.  I decided to be a little less manly.  It wasn’t over the top as if I were a drag performer.  Some neutral girly jeans and top paired with a cowl neck hoodie, some cute sneakers and socks, and panties and bra underneath.  It was the typical androgynous outfit of some of my other girly outings.  You could say that it was my tomboy outfit (lol).  But it wasn’t just the clothing.  I needed less of a manly presence about myself.  So, it was a practice in the way I carried and presented myself.  The only encounter that I expected to make me nervous was at the liquor store where I am a loyal customer.

By the end of the day and the experience, I felt foolish–foolish for being the least bit worried.  Nobody paid a lick of attention.  Nobody cared.  And even if there was somebody who happened to notice that I was dressed in girl clothing, no one sneered or remarked.  No one cared.  Even the store clerk with whom I always interact about tastings and options, never batted an eye to my less than boyish mannerisms.  With the liquor store stop, a gas stop, and an eventual supermarket run, the outing was in the books and I was reminded of the very thought behind this caption.  I’m allowed to be me–a girly boy.  This experience was no different than any other outing.  People just don’t pay that much attention.


I share this semi-girly experience to simply say, that whereas there can be a fine line between what is tolerated and what is mocked, that line is blurrier than you might imagine.  Don’t be so worried.  Stretch your limits a bit and let your girly self enjoy some time, even if it’s casual and more androgynous.  You can be girly and be a boy–and enjoy being you!

Much love to ya!


CandieHart   

6 comments:

  1. THIS ANALYSIS IS ABSLUTELY CORECT AND RIGHT ON THE MARK >>>ONE THING TO ADD TO THE OUTFIT IS YOUR PERSONAL CONFIDENCE AND HOW YOU CARRY YOURSELF>>> THINK FEMALE WHEN WALKING< SITTING DRINKING EATING > MARIE ANNE

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  2. Thank you for sharing this lovely, affirming article🩵🩷 And thanks also for the link to Candie's tumblr! I really enjoyed all the beautiful posts I discovered there:)

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  3. unless you are built like the former Chicago Bear Refrigerator Perry you will find that you can go 100% girly and with rare exceptions nobody cares . And what a great experience it is!

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  4. I have had my androgynous look all my life. It’s about 50/50 ma’am or sir. Never got facial hair. I dress in jeans and sneakers most of the time. Never try and look girly. In my 60s now. Last month my wife and I went on vacation. Our flight attendant helped the young man with his drink at the window seat and then asked my wife and I …what would you ladies like….for the two weeks we were in New York, it was ma’am or sir. I’m used to it and so is my wife. We just go with what the people believe 😂😂. But those times when I dress up..now that’s a dress story😉😁

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  5. A very interesting article. The last time I went to buy my supplies at Total Wine in Saint Louis, the checkout guy was wearing the exact same outfit. Girls jeans and a cowl necked hoodie. I didn't know what his undies were though, but I I do know he was wearing nail polish in a vibrant metallic blue. Yes.
    Angel Amore

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  6. I couldn't agree more with your writings, and it gives me, and I’m sure many others a feeling of freedom. I also apply sheer mascara most of the time as well.

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