Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Feminine Differential - Not Overthinking

There was a time when getting Rhonda out the door was a three hour process. Choosing the outfit, bubble bath (to set the mood), makeup, getting the hair just so, foundation garments, and finally getting dressed.  Every moment along the process severed to set the mood.  Does any of this resemble your process.

As some would describe the dilemma - "Fish or cut bait"? 

Fast forward to this morning's market shopping.  Being a people-watcher over the years, I have been studying wardrobes utilized in situations in which i would like to  participate. Office/professional was my goal for many years because that is where I pictured myself. Casual later became a destination as my "Escape" world expanded; now the everyday reality.  

This morning I did not give a second though to the decades old henley cotton top, Lee slim jeans, and Skechers D'Lites that I wore. "Do you need any help ma'am".  'Can I reach that for you ma'am.".  "Do you need any help with your cart ma'am".

Yes, there are times when I do question either their sincerity or vision.  However, welcome the recognition that I am blending; deserved or not. It is  appreciated. 

Lesson - there is nothing wrong with a great afternoon of self-indulgence and feminine pampering. As I look at my calendar, I am not getting any younger and time-is-a-wasting.  Plan accordingly and realize that there is not anyone you need to impress, other than yourself. Dress to blend and take advantage of of the time you have. Overthinking only slows the exit. It is not the process but the reality of the escape.   


  1. I remember so well when my process was everything. Being somewhat a perfectionist, anyway (OK, I know it's an oxymoron to say "somewhat" perfect:-), I would focus in on each and every step of my beauty ritual...uh, I mean regimen. Even the avocado clay mask had to be applied as though I were doing a photo shoot for a TV commercial. Of course, at the end of the process, I had nowhere to go. It took many years for me to decide that I looked "perfect enough" to show myself to the outside world; a few more to understand that I WAS "perfect enough" to actually venture out into it.

    My existence as the woman I was born to be has been fully a part of the world for the last eight years, now. I sometimes have to laugh at the fact that perfection is so much more difficult to reach than it was those many years ago. If anything, it should be taking me longer to overcome all of the sagging and wrinkles on this old lady's face. A clay mask is more like a scary Halloween mask these days, showing every crinkly, wrinkly imperfection as it dries. I now put more effort into what I must overlook than the look itself when getting ready each morning. I still take too much time to get ready, as some of those old habits are hard to break, but my goal is so much different than it was when I had nowhere to go.

    Despite all of the sagging and bagging, the crinkles and wrinkles, I am now comfortable in my own skin. My routine really hasn't changed that much, but it takes less time because it has become a means toward an end, rather than the end, itself. Even if my blending may be more of a blurring sometimes, I can be perfectly happy being somewhat imperfect!

  2. don't sell yourself short. I've seen you up close and you pass perfectly!