How Not To Get Caught...

 Wearing A Bra At Work (And In Public)

HOPE ALEXANDER UPDATED:OCT 14, 2009

Believe it or not, some men want to wear a bra to work, (or anywhere in public, for that matter,) but don't want to get caught doing it. Gadzooks! How are they to achieve such a goal. I have some tips for them, which I believe will help. I can only help they read this in time, before they go running out of the house in a red lace bra under a wet white t-shirt.

The tips below should help them in their endeavors, but please, if you are among this number, be aware that unless you are wearing a suit jacket, leather jacket, ski jacket or some kind of thick bulky overcoat, your brassiere may be detectable. If you're wearing a bra and a t shirt and someone runs their hand over your back then yeah, they'll probably feel the band.

But, for those of your coworkers who aren't fondling your back all day and night, these tips may help. (There's one that will foil those people too, its right at the end. Like the butler, who totally did it.)

Match Colors

If you don't want your bra to be too obvious, match the color of the bra to the tone of your skin, and perhaps more importantly, to your shirt. That means no black brassieres under your white business shirt.

Plain Is Better

If your brassiere has a whole lotta lace and embroidery going on, the ripples and bumps can show through your shirt. Wear that plain beige brassiere on the days you just want to feel a bra against your skin.

Cover Up

Wear more than just a bra and a shirt. Wear a bra, a vest and a shirt, or preferably, a jersey that is somewhat thick. The more layers you have on, the less likely it is that you will get caught wearing your bra. This works best in winter, of course.

Get The Right Fit

A bra that fits properly is less likely to be seen than a bra which is cutting into your flesh. Avoid flesh bumps at all cost.

T Shirt Bras

T shirt bras were designed to be the original stealth bra. By wearing a white t shirt bra under, say a thick white vest, you should be virtually undetectable to 99% of the human population. (Except those bastards who keep lingeringly running your fingers over your upper back.)

And finally, for those SOB's, the silver bullet...

Strap Up

Put your brassiere on, wrap some wide crepe tape around that puppy and go about your day. Don't wind it too tight or you won't be able to breathe, which could spoil your ability to enjoy your brassiere. If people touch you, they'll feel the strapping. You can then claim some awesome sports / shark related injury.

That, I think, is all the advice I have for you today.