Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Unintended Consequences

Be careful what you wish. I seem to be moving ever so far down the rabbit hole of a social transition, although I have never seen myself as a completely female-identified person. From youth, I have gone back and forth between effeminate to tomboy playing the role that was needed. My clothing and mode of dress reflects the role.  

The role of a student, successful businessman, parent and professional was always clear with no mistaken identity or consequences. Getting older has allowed me to relaxed and feel less constrained by expected societal standards; the necessity to play a role. Oh, what a wonderful luxury.  

That is why I have come to feel that the term “cross-dressing” no longer applied. I am not crossing any boundary other than being myself. Apparel is neither male or female (articles of clothing do not have a gender) and the items are none other than my clothes. I selected and purchased the items with the full intention of wearing. Retail designations are arbitrary.   

What precipitated this full WTF moment, was a recent stop at Home Depot. Yes, females do shop there, however along with the auto parts store they constitute as much of a retail man-cave as one can visit. I was passing down the center aisle heading for checkout when a somewhat older orange aproned man appeared out of the plumbing section.

With a huge smile, he said, “HI – May I help you?” This was not a man-to-man greeting! I gave my typical “no thank you” and continued. About three steps past this encounter in dawned on me – HE WAS FLIRTING.  

Even when not making a conscious effort, I seem to be giving off some form of feminine signals. Maybe the smile (OK - I am happy person) or the androgynous look/hair. I don't know. I am flattered and have no problem being misgendered. However, I am starting to question which one is the “mis”. 

It is one thing to have a door opened (happens a lot), but this went to a new and unexpected level. I can flirt with the best when in a Rhonda social environment, however this flirt was totally unsolicited and a new experience. 

Be careful what you wish.


  1. Saturday is my day to go 'en-femme' and go shopping. I received the friendliest 'hello' from an attractive woman while shopping at Marshalls. I am still trying to process the whole encounter. Meanwhile, I have stumbled upon the term 'Crossmopolitan'; I think I am a crossmopoitan....... Anon....

  2. And then, one day, one finds the extraordinary to be just ordinary....which is extraordinary in itself!

  3. I've had the same experiences and later realized what happened--at the time it happens my first thought is---is he serious---but it does make me realize that somewhere I've crossed a boundary as well ---when it has happened and I tell my wife about it-- she just shakes her head and said-- " I never get that type of attention" knowing you are making your wife jealous is a bit un-nerving at times !!