Wednesday, September 16, 2015


1981 Movie Tootsie - In the Crowd.

The third definition of invisible is today topic.   It reads "not perceptible or discernible by the mind".

I had lunch with a girlfriend a few day ago and we discussed being of that inevitable age when we are not noticed.  She is still a very attractive lady having a great figure but we both lamented about being invisible.  Invisibility is different from the feeling that you are just getting older.  It’s the feeling you are no longer vital or important or noticeable to others, a constant nagging pain you can neither avoid nor forget.  

The effect of becoming invisible often takes place along gendered lines. Women are often defined and judged more harshly by their appearance and attractiveness, a feeling reinforced by a society in which magazine covers celebrate youthful feminine good looks and taut bodies often photoshopped to an unnatural degree.  A good example is Donald Trump's exceedingly offensive comment about Carly Fiorina.  

Bestselling author Kate Braestrup described it this way:
 "For the first time since puberty, what I am on the outside is less of a distraction from who I am on the inside."

I am a late comer to being feminine but in a darkened restaurant, or concert a few years back, I could detect being noticed. Yes, mostly a great confidence builder that had both positive and negative implications.  Was I being noticed because I was attractive or had something been noticed?  Most of the time I became very self-conscious.     

So, I have come to accept my invisible status.  As long as I blend in (no mini-skirt and 4 heels at the mall) I can go about doing what every woman does, unnoticed.  With that comes an extra shot of confidence.  But just because we are invisible it does not preclude us from being interesting, powerful, dynamic, and vital.  

Do enjoy and take advantage of your invisible status - You have earned it.      


  1. Kathy Bates (in character from Six Feet Under) noted that when a woman gets to middle age, she becomes invisible - especially if overweight. In my case, I take advantage of the point that Kathy noted, and I move about virtually invisibly as if I were born a woman. I love it!

  2. Hi Marian,

    Thanks for the comment - Please write often,

  3. If only the invisible status would be something that one could confer on yourself. Unfortunately the mirror, the camera, and a self-condemning critical eye can make one feel like you are in the public glare even when you are not.