Do you feel more comfortable when wearing men's clothes or women's clothes?
This was an interesting question I found on Quora a few days ago. Here is the opening narrative:
Although I grew up wearing men’s clothing, to be honest, I was never especially comfortable wearing them. For the most part, I felt invisible in public.
I had a standard male “uniform” that I typically wore every day - jeans and a gray t-shirt with white tennis shoes. I dressed this way for school, shopping, walking in the park, and meeting with friends. On date nights, I’d wear something nicer but otherwise, it was just plain old jeans and a t-shirt.
I didn’t put much thought into what I was wearing in my younger days. I kept a dozen pairs of Lee jeans, Wranglers, and Levi’s - and a dozen gray t-shirts with a couple in navy blue. The only difference between one pair of jeans in my closet and another was the logo sewn onto the waistband. Other than that, the size and fit were all the same.
… Until I discovered what it felt like to wear women’s clothing.
That hit a nerve. Is it the dressing in women's clothing or is it being female? I find that I am more outgoing, comfortable, and have been told, more likable as female. And you all know how much I love fashion.
The overall difference is presentation vs permission to be the person that you really are. "Fully embodied" comes to mind.
|'18 - Dinner in Palm Beach|
Female clothing in general is not more physically comfortable. Many of the items are meant to be stylish/attractive rather than designed for comfort. E.g. high heels. I have a sweater with a drape back that takes advance engineering skills to put on correctly and always requires extra time. Functionality was not part of its design. Despite the complexity and physical discomfort, I feel more at ease in women’s clothes. Why? Because it makes me feel like I’m being myself.
My birth gender caused me to carry along the burden of societal expectations of what a man should be. I do believe I was a good father, entrepreneur, successful business man and friend. However, always in the back of my mind was the looming question, "Am I living up to manly standards?" In that area I am not sure I succeeded.
It is not like something was wrong, but I always felt there were expectations that I could never quite meet. So I would retreat rather than confront; my typical modus operandi. As female I am liberated and complete.
So a question - is your transgender nature about the internal physique or is it about the clothing? I love the term transgender because it encompasses both aspects and allows us to have a common standing. My personal world is evolving and is not just about the clothing. It is much more complex.