Monday, July 25, 2022

Culture Shocks After Transitioning

...Transgender People Reveal

By Samantha Berlin

© Kira-Yan/iStock

Thousands of users flocked to a viral internet forum to share their biggest "culture shocks" after undergoing gender transitions.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/TyDye386, asked the viral question in Reddit's popular "Ask Reddit" thread where it received more than 6,000 upvotes and 4,300 comments. The post can be found here.

Many users said their social interactions changed after their transition, while others said they needed time to get used to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.

According to data analyzed by Pew Research Center, an estimated 5 percent of young adults in America identify with a gender different than the sex they were assigned at birth.

More than four in 10 Americans report knowing someone who is transgender compared to three in 10 Americans in 2017.

Americans under 30 are more likely than their older counterparts to identify as trans or nonbinary, according to Pew Research.

More than 4,300 users commented on the post asking "Trans people of Reddit, what was the biggest 'culture shock' you noticed after transitioning to your gender?"


One of the Girls

"The amount of women in my family, my female friends, and even female acquaintances now confiding every single deep dark detail of their life in me, or just openly talking about their every bodily function," another user commented. "I became 'one of the girls' way before I was comfortable with it."


"As a passing almost fully transitioned trans woman, it's that people are a *lot* more concerned about my safety as a woman than they ever were as a man," another wrote.

"I am MtF [Male to Female] and even though I knew about it, the amount of sexism, harassment and sexual assault is shocking," another commented. "Logically, I knew it happened. I've had people tell me all about it before. But once I started passing as a woman, holy fuck. Sexual comments happen all the time, even just sitting at a stoplight in my car, people have shouted through my window sexual shit. More than once!"

There's also a closer camaraderie among women just for being women, and so many men have absolutely no idea how to interact with a woman. I've been hit on, catcalled, and the like and I never knew how frequent this all was.

On a more lighthearted note, I was surprised to learn that using purses has the side benefit of me never forgetting my keys in my pants pockets and running them through the wash anymore


"I never adjusted my voice after transitioning, so my voice does tend to cause confusion, and yet, rarely an issue," one user commented.

Women's Clothing

"The lack of pockets," one user wrote. "Welcome to sad reality of feminine clothes," another commenter replied.

"Girls are so nice to each other, it’s seems so strange that a random woman in the metro might just compliment me on my clothes, just like that."

"This is it for me too. The very first time I went out in public dressed femininely after I came out, I had two other women say nice things about my outfit. I was stunned. In all the previous more than thirty years of dressing like a man, I can't think of a single time a man complimented me on my clothes. And I've always been pretty fashionable, no matter what gender I'm dressing for. Now I almost expect it. I know what outfits and looks I have that will always get other women to compliment me. It's wild."

Your comments please: 

1 comment:

  1. I've been married for 50 years. The first 40 or so were as man and wife; the last as two women. As happens with many longtime couples, the friendships developed are with other couples. Needless to say, the dynamics of those friendships change dramatically when the "man" in one couple suddenly (to the other couples) changes to woman and woman.

    I have to admit that I was never really comfortable with many of the couples get-togethers when I was perceived to be the man. I disliked the separation that always took place, when the men grouped together apart from the women. Often, it would take place immediately, as the women would find their seats at one end of the room, and the men on the other. I would try to sit in a seat that was adjacent to the women, although still part of the men's group - which was the best I could do. I found the women's discussions to be more interesting than the men's, anyway, and I would try to be part of the women's as much as I could.

    Now, there are fewer opportunities to partake in those couples' events. We're just not invited to many of them anymore. It's not so much that I am being rejected for my "new" gender as it is the perceived upsetting of the balance in the dynamics of our couple-hood. Should I, when alone, run into any of the group casually, whether it be one of the men or the women, I have little trouble relating to them as the woman I am. It seems to only be a problem when I am part of the couple my wife and I are. This is definitely culture shock, and it's gone on so long now that I doubt it will ever subside.