Friday, April 5, 2024


 Where Do You Want to Be 2024

Assimilate: To become part of a group, country, society, etc., or to make someone or something become part of a group, country, society [community], etc. (The Cambridge Dictionary)

A new year always allows us the opportunity to look back and look forward. If you read this transgender blog then you know that my theme is to encourage visibility and to live your life without regrets.     

Visibility is our survival obligation to thwart those who want us to go away. Our courageous visibility speaks volumes to those who want to relegate us back to the closet.  

My first frightful public outing was in 1982 on "National Cross-dressing Day" (Halloween). An insightful bartender, after listening to my "first time ever" recital simply stated, "And I bet this will not be the last."  How correct he was.

Escapes, as I like to describe these journeys into the land of femininity, have been both unnerving, exhilarating, and rewarding. Rhonda did not not emerge fully formed for the "escape" womb.  It took many years to build my courage by challenging myself to walk a mall, go shopping, have a meal out and attend support groups. Support groups helped me understand my inner ache to be feminine was not isolated to just myself; others had similar instincts. As I attended support groups and conventions, I wanted more!   

The southern expression, "Katy bar the door" seemed to apply here; [means watch out, trouble is on its way].  I had gotten a taste of the rush that gender exploration provides.  

I came to the realization that a full GRS transition was not my burning desire. However, I did come to the place where I wanted to be more than just a visitor / interloper in the "land of femininity".  I wanted to have the acceptance that would come with a full "visa"; to go and come for extended periods and even work there, if possible.  

Attending A Downtown 
outdoor Lecture

My extended "Escapes" are well documented in this blog.   

This is where examination of one's reality with regard to motives and expectorations comes to the front. After escaping from your literal closet, have you just added on an addition. 

If assimilation is your goal, you do not have to abandon your transgender friends. Being mentored and helping those not as brave is so important. However, when going to only trans friendly clubs, restaurants,  ________, (you fill in the blank), have you really escaped the closet?  For years my only escapes were to a cub. 

This has nothing to do with being authentic. Everyone's  authenticity is different and should be.  This is about being visible and pushing your comfort zone.    

Challenge yourself to be part of the real world. Join clubs, attend Meetups, interact socially, attend concerts, lectures, volunteer, church, or attend typically female events like fashion shows. Some might work, others not. Each will be a learning / research experience for the next escape. There is always the possibility of making new friends. 

Trepidations be damned! The real world is more accepting and understanding than your fears envision.  

Like my opening quote; change is inevitable... We are going to mature and scenes we thought that were so-much-fun, we will grow out of.  Intentional growth in 2024 allows you to explore the land of femininity and find your place.


Object Lesson: Where will you be on International Women's Day 2024?  This year it will be on March 8th to celebrate women's achievements and reinforce a commitment to women's equality. The day's theme: 

Imagine a gender equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that's diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women's equality. Collectively we can all "Inspire Inclusion". Celebrate women's achievements. Raise awareness about discrimination. Take action to drive gender parity.  IWD belongs to everyone, everywhere. Inclusion means all IWD action is valid.



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