Friday, September 2, 2016

The Mask

Rhonda was a mask for many years.  I used big hair, makeup and an all body disguise so that people would not know who and, on a bad day, what I was.  Looking back on early photos I was covered up literally, head to toe. Three pairs of pantie hose to hid the legs, long sleeves hide the arms, high neck hide the chest or lack there of, and makeup thicker than drywall spakle was put on with a min-trowel. Anyone remember Dermablend?  All the effort was exhausting. Sound familiar?

However, everywhere you look you see emotional masks. Family, friends, partners, spouses, children, coworkers; even when we look at ourselves every day we see a mask(s). Maybe being male is our mask.  Maybe we wear a smile mask when we are not really happy. However, not being true to our self is the most destructive kind of mask. We must constantly portray a reality, person and personality we are not.  Just like using all that cover up, the effort is exhausting.  

So why do we wear masks?  

Consciously or unconsciously we are afraid to show our true self to the world. The key word is FEAR. Why fear? Because we fear that many will make judgments, assessments and conclusions on who is behind that mask. We fear that people will not like us if we are not wearing our mask. We fear societies rejection.  

Much benefit comes from escaping our fear and being authentic;  Here is the best definition I found for "authentic" at Dictionary.com:
Representing one’s true nature or beliefs;
true to oneself or to the person identified.
As I think back I wasted many years wearing masks. The one the everyone wanted me to wear. Yes, the one I use to disguise my natural self.  I am not saying that my natural self was female but I sure did a good job of hiding my blended and authentic self.  I would have been so much happier without the mask.  

My fear was exaggerated and unfounded.    

Escape your mask(s) and be yourself.


  1. Great comments but easier said than done. I think that we all have created personnas of ourselves that we bring out to fit the situation. I have my business/professional personna, my parental personna, my husband personna, my personna with my buddies and, of course, my femme personna.
    I do not think that I am unique but I think that many of us adapt to situations.

    PS: I love the dress and the look from 1984

  2. Hi Pat,

    Thanks for the comment - Yes over the years I had whole close full of personas too and still do. Don't forget the make a living persona.