Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Feminine Differential - Security

On one of my first ever shopping "Escapes", I realized that presenting as female had associated risk. I became keenly aware of my surroundings. I wanted to park close to the door of the mall and was noticing if anyone was getting out of their car at the same time. The contrast was shocking.

My perceived vulnerability was shocking!

I never give any of these actions even a third, much more a second thought. I was concerned. I always thought that maybe the element of surprise might be in my favor, however just how fast could I react in heels? Wallet, money, credit cards all in my purse which could be easily grabbed off my shoulder. As female I understood something bad could happen or I could be harassed for no other reason than my presentation; "being feminine".

Was my skirt too short and inviting trouble?  Would getting mugged be my fault simply for what I was wearing?  No one ‘invites’ a mugging or harassment like it would be a everyday occurrence. No one wants to feel insecure or be harassed. I, as a feminine person just want to be comfortable, look good and go about my day-to-day activities.

This became very poignant one evening as I was heading into the mall, this time dressed not as a female. The same mall that I had shopped the night earlier. I watched as a woman, heading out, clutched her purse a little tighter and looked down, rather than solicit eye contact. The reality of this situation produced a wave of sadness as I was now aware of both sides.  

How ludicrous for politicians to say "A Scary Time For Boys", when adult females always face insecurities and harassment. To be feminine is to recognize this, act accordingly, and be mindful.       

Be careful - Be understanding!

Lynzy Lab

"The first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one. We have a problem in our culture. Women are undervalued and often seen as sexual objects without brains, ambitions or abilities. This brilliant song  shines a light on the problem and allows all of us to start on the difficult journey of fixing the problem."  Writergurlny


  1. We, as transgender women, actually face twice the safety and security worries of cisgendered women: we face the problems described as female and then we face additional concerns if perhaps we are revealed to be trans to transphobic individuals who might mean to do us harm on that basis.

    It's complex web of things to address to truly reduce all of that risk. However, I know voice can sometimes remain a clear tell if someone is trans, and therefore attract unwanted attention from transphobic individuals.

    I continue to advocate some sort of voice adjustment (surgery or therapy) to be covered under medically necessary aspects of transition by Medicare, Medicaid and private insurance plans.

    Rhonda, I know you have mentioned in the past, some of your own ways of successfully dealing with voice. Perhaps you could share them here at some point soon.

  2. Your perception about the woman you metioned, clutching her purse tighter, eyes down and the sadness that she was forced into a situation that many women face. I see this with the women in my life when they are alone in a parking garage. When with a male they know, they display a somewhat confidence in a safe reality but if they have to walk to the car, the fear they project is very apparent until they get in the car with the doors locked and the engine running.

  3. Since living full time as a woman, my security concerns have indeed heightened. The biggest adjustment has been in getting used to the concept of being female in public. My male self used to go wherever he wanted to go after dark. I have placed myself in spaces as a woman which my male self would think nothing of, but as a woman, I was crazy to be in. I am certain I will catch up to my new reality.

  4. "A Scary Time For Boys", Indeed! This most certainly pertains to sons of the rich,powerful and political who wish to act like animals in cloistered social situations, and intend to get away scot free with the aid of 'daddys money/lawyers'; AND then retain memoir of the various deeds in a hand written monthly calendar designed to bring back 'excitement, titillation and climax' whenever the mood strikes.....