Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Rookie Mistakes

There are problems that occur in sports that are attributed to “Rookie Mistakes". Few rising professional athletes are rookies in a true sense, either coming up through a farm league or college sports program. However, rookie mistakes happen when the rules that a player has been playing under are different in the professional arena.  

The same is true when one graduates from recreational cross-dressing to venture into the real everyday world;  whether it be socializing, volunteering or working in a secondary career. Example: As Rhonda in an office environment, I noticed that few of my fellow female co-workers wore dresses/skirts every day. Occasionally OK. However, if I wore them every day, I did not blend with the rest of the staff. Feminine cut pants were added to my wardrobe.  

Being a rookie and learning on the job does not mean you lack the skills. You just adapt to the new environment.

Lucille Sorella’s site “Femme Secrets” posted a discussion on “Male to Female Fashion Rules Worth Breaking". Let’s face it, there are few fashion rules in today’s culture.  Even the old “No white shoes after Labor Day” seem silly.  Styles go/come and then mesh together into an acceptable combination of "wear what you like". A perfect example is skirt length; just choose what looks best for you.  

Just for reference, here is the FemmeSecrets.com abridged list. I have paraphrased and detailed some of my “Rookie Mistakes”. 

Mistake #1 - Always dress as feminine as possible.

Whether your style is tomboyish, androgynous, or ultra-feminine be yourself with an eye to seeing what others are wearing.  Ultra-feminine is perfect for support group parties, clubs, and cocktail receptions, however not for helping stuff envelopes on a volunteer job.

Mistake # 2 - Restrictive shape wear is a must to tame the male body. 

Breast forms, a corset, gaff, and hip pads can transform the most masculine body into an hourglass. shape. When you want to feel like a "bombshell", shape wear is a girl’s best friend! However, on more than one occasion I needed to visit the lady's room to adjust/remove a shape-garment that was literally causing pain. Plan accordingly. Next time out, look around and see how many hourglass figures you see - restrictive shape wear is seldom necessary. 

Mistake #3 - Always wear high heels – The higher the better. 

While high heels are undoubtedly sexy and feminine, there’s no rule that says you must wear them all the time. I came home from a cocktail reception one evening and had to soak my hurting feet in an ice bucket.  That evening, I actually had to leave before it was over because of my hurting feet. Staying would have been much more fun. 

Mistake #4 - Matching from head-to-toe – over planning.

While you should always look coordinated, forget about old fashioned rules that say you must match from head to toe. Not only is this boring, but it also tends to look costumey and dated, as in my mothers 50s' look. Shoes need not match, purse, dress and jewelry. 

There is a lot of advice available all over the internet that shows pulled-together looks without going overboard.  My friend's wonderful blog, Susan after 60 has many great every day suggestions. A woman with class. Thanks Susan.     

Susan Street's Fashion Blog 

Avoid rookie mistakes. 


  1. excellent advice and something we learn over time as we spend hours or even days out in the world :)

  2. My Rookie Mistake: Memo to self... Dont overdress for your local Pride Parade. But DO attend....

  3. I read some fashion advice a few years ago, that one should always dress one level up, If everyone is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, wear nice jeans and a blouse. If the office is wearing black slacks and blouses, Go with fitted slacks and nice sweaters,tops, and thoughtful accessories. Not out of place just a bit nicer.

    1. Great suggestion Paula. I think the "Women's Dress For Success" book recommended something similar. I loved that book.