Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Feminine Differential - The Ultimate Occasion

Always a bridesmaid never the bride is not exactly the case for most of us. For those of us on the opposite side of this gender conundrum, we are more likely to have been the groom. Not nearly as complicated. I had a wonderful bridesmaid opportunity about 20 years ago.  Here is that experience.  

I was the founder and facilitator of a local support group which had very diverse attendees.  As the group was starting there were evenings when no one from our side of the community attended. So I would join in with a woman's group meeting at the same time. I became a regular there and was accepted. We laughed a lot as we shared.  One of the gals in the group, although lesbian, was to marry a man at an elegant Palm Beach home (mansion). He was ill and she was to become heir to the estate and for family/legal reasons, a marriage, however convoluted, was a necessity. I was not in on all the details.  

I just knew that the group was invited to the evening festivities, which involved a brief "I Do" ceremony. No big deal, but I was invited to stand with the bride and the simple request was to wear something befitting; I did. I am so sorry that there were no photos. Standing with the bride's friends and enjoying the party after, was a thrill.    

Always being up for a challenge, on an upcoming trip I have set up circumstances to visit a bridal shop. I was forthcoming in my reasoning/motivation/craziness and received a yes. An appointment during a non-busy time was open and the owner/fitting expert seemed open to me coming in. Maybe my chance to say "yes" or at least "maybe" to the dress. Definitely the ultimate "All dressed up with no place to go..." scenario.       

Have you tried thisWhat has been your experience? What happened? Please share...

Stay tuned - I will keep you posted.   


  1. I look forward to your column on your trip to the Bridal Store... I suggest you arrange a rental of a gown and arrange a photographer.....
    OUR group members have been invited to be Bridesmaids for the upcoming nuptials of two of our friends. Needless to say, the willing participants were absolutely giddy with excitement and anticipation. I had arranged a photographer friends' services who knows about my crossdressing.
    I was 'doing preliminary shopping' (with the help of my friend, a lesbian dress store manager) for what would be an acceptable, affordable bridesmaid dress for what was to be an outdoor, Spring Wedding. I had even resolved that if anyone of our group had an affordability problem, I would just 'throw down' for any others matching dress, (and HAT-- WE just GOTTA wear a matching, broad brimmed hat!)for the sake of a great photo memory for all involved. YOLO-- dont yu kno?
    Unfortunately, the path to 'true love' is a rocky one.... and now the plans are on hold. I have been thinking of 'converting' this 'party fever' to perhaps a group sponsored 'GARDEN PARTY'! It's not like nobody in our group knows how to prep and cook and do hors d'oeuvres, mimosas, cake, ect..... and YES I would still want to invite the photog.....
    On another note, I own TWO full length wedding dresses. Both fit and are appropriately and modestly designed for my size 22W. One came from Goodwill 'last chance' store, where garments sell for $1.39/pound! Another came from Value Village on 'half price Wednesdays'. They are hanging up in a side bedroom closet. Every 'now and again' the mood strikes-- I just gotta 'get bridal'.
    Later, V.

  2. Rhonda

    My friend Suzanne an older bride has gone to several bridal shops in the Boston area and was well received


    1. Unfortunately, Paula, the link you give does not connect for me and I wonder if Suzanne has taken down that album? Love Linda