When I first saw her I was about six, but by the time I was ten I knew she was beautiful beyond words. Blond hair that tickled the ears yet hung lower in the back, big blue eyes and a bright smile. The pale pink and white dress fit her perfectly, and the white shoes and tiny white purse only made her seem even more feminine. But what made her so pretty was the pale red lipstick which lined her small lips in a cupids bow that was only broken when she smiled at me. The girl was so pretty that I didn't want to see her go, but she did, with that wistful look only girls have. After that I would only get to see her once in a while, and as she grew up everything about her began to change. Her hair got short, then grew longer again, small breasts appeared and she got taller, her legs shapely and very nice, but always, the face was beautiful, and I loved her more every time I saw her.Complex emotions ran through me whenever I saw her, my desire to see more of her compounded by the forbidden delight, almost a lust that she brought to me. Torn between the lust and the forbidden, I kept pushing her away, except when I could no longer stand it, then beckoned her to come out for the few stolen hours we would have together. As we both got older my ability to push her away grew weaker and she visited more often, daring the fates and putting me in great danger, but I could not resist her, and always succumbed to her need to visit. She had a name of course, but I never said it out loud, and while she always used my sisters clothes, she always chose what looked best on her. It had been almost three months since I had seen her last, yet I had been able to put her out of my mind until I felt that stirring deep inside, and knew that she was about to arrive one more time, tempting the fates once again....
I always enjoy Janet's stories at Fictionmainia. They strike a nerve from my development process, especially as many of her young characters find acceptance by their family and go on to live "happily there after". If life could be ever so kind and accepting.
Janet gave me permission to print the opening paragraphs of her latest story, "Dream Girl". I love the point, "Torn between the lust and the forbidden, I kept pushing her away, except when I could no longer stand it." So many of us have felt that way.
Thank you Janet for your writing style and inspiring words. I revisit many of your stories just for pure joy. Please don't stop writing.
See also my posting on the "The Perfect Transgender Story" from 2016.
|Janet L. Stickney|
It is my hope that someday society will accept people for who they are rather than what they are, and Fictionmainia allows us to represent ourselves in all of our facets, opening the door to greater understanding.
Fiction is a great release for many of us, whether we write it or read it. I hope that you find solace in any fiction you read, mine or not. I am in my seventies now, married to the same woman for over 50 years, with two adult daughters, grandchildren a loving wife that understands, and makes and effort to participate in all parts of my life, including when I am Janet. Her love gives me the insight to write with compassion rather than fear, and I would be lost without her.
To break out of our prison of pride and fear, then admit our need, no matter what it is, is the only way to find what it is that we really are, or are meant to be. Read, enjoy, love life.