We have embraced his desire and bought or made G-strings and bra tops. We’ve taught him to keep this private, explaining that other people may not understand, while ensuring we communicate it’s OK with us.
“Everyone is different and everyone is special,” is the message we try to convey. He tells us he enjoys it because it makes him feel good.
Initially, he tried making G-strings by cutting up his underpants. This is when we realised he needed help with making and buying the underwear he wanted. After this, when the scissors kept going missing and we found a new pair of (boys’) underpants chopped up, we were annoyed and he got upset. He said he didn’t like himself and couldn’t understand why he was doing it. We calmed him and reassured him that we loved him, but said we were cross with him for cutting up new underwear.
This was when he said he had been trying to make a bra and he’d done a pretty good job. I took him shopping so he could make a selection and my husband took him to buy fabric to make his own items. We put these, with his own pair of scissors, in a box in his room. He was happy and we thought the problem was solved. Recently, the scissors disappeared again and my husband said he’d found a onesie that had been cut up.
I’d welcome advice on how to raise a cross-dressing child, and how to approach this latest occurrence of cutting his own clothes.
There was a much longer answer given. Here is the summary:
By - Annalisa Barbieri
How do you raise a cross-dressing child? Just how you would raise any child. You listen, love, support; you help him discover who he is, what he likes, help him understand about appropriate behaviour – so it’s OK to cut up X but not Y; to wear this here but not there etc. And if he still cuts up the wrong things, you need to look at what he’s trying to communicate to you. Look at and respond to your son, not what he wears.
No child- male, female, trans/cd- needs to wear g string/thong underwear. That is disturbing. As members of the LBGTQ community, we need to avoid the sexualization of children, even if its just talking about their underwear on a blog. We have millions if not billions of "haters," and this subject matter (specifically when it comes to children) gives the "haters" way too much ammunition to call us creepy, and so forth. Talking about grown men wearing women's underwear is OK. Minors no. I'd take this post down if you care about your reputation. It's strange, inappropriate, and an embarrassment. I was molested as a minor by someone you knew a long time ago, and my father is a sexually deviant person who breaks into houses, hotel rooms, and retail stores- to steal women's underwear. He also exposes himself in public but being the child of millionaire parents he avoided having to go on the sex offender registry. Me being molested and having the embarrassment of a criminal cross dresser of a father makes me cringe when reading your posts. Some of your posts make me feel validated and normal, because we are kin, and I am gay. But some rub me the wrong way, big time. You probably wondered why I pranked you with the "repent for your sins" crap well now you know. I don't like or dislike you but wow, shits weird if I'm being honest. I am sorry for being blunt but thats just who I am, thank the bizarre family i have for making me the mental case I am today. Take care.ReplyDelete
You have done nothing wrong, distasteful, immoral or ILLEGAL by linking and discussing in your blog the article in the Guardian. If such journalism were somehow banned, you would have never seen the parent article.
This writer has assuredly had lived a very rough history. His diatribe of his problems along with a terrible, troubled family history of similar abuses is a is classic in the psychological world.
The ultimate causality of this kind of behavior this person has experienced is:
REPRESSION OF THE NATURAL PSYCHO-SOCIAL AND PSYCHO-SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT OF THE HUMAN CHILD. This REPRESSION is referred to as
POISONOUS PEDAGOGY instilled by SHAME BASED BEHAVIOR (a term by Dr. John Bradshaw, a fellow sufferer of, and writer about overcoming the shame and repression of such ritualized abuse).
In one of Bradshaws' books, (Healing the Shame That Binds You, by Dr. John Bradshaw) he relates how ASHAMED he felt when he had to urinate within the earshot of the visiting pastor-AND 'would the pastor think NEGATIVELY of HIM for making the tinkling sound'?
It is indeed ironic in an almost CRIMINAL SENSE that the first thing that you expound on are the childs parents somehow are sexualizing their child by allowing him to express a symbolic, subconscious drive.
THEY-the parents- are doing precisely the RIGHT THING. The child is simply ACTING OUT an issue from his subconscious mind.
It is YOU and your own comments (which mirror YOUR PARENTS own repressive values which has a lot to do with your own problems) which are TOTALLY OUT OF LINE.
My question to you is when are you going to do your own REAL RESEARCH for your own PSYCHOLOGICAL BENEFIT and cease this 'pseudo religious' sniping.
Here is a start into John Bradshaw.
Thanks Velma for clean insight.Delete
"because we are kin" I still have no clue? Please get some help for your issues.Delete
I do not make up the issues, I only relay the question and published a very insightful answer - "[to] raise any child. you listen, love, support"; is there fault in that answer?