Many females cross dress regularly. it is so much readily tolerated. Some do it for fashion/style others intentionally, thus being a transgender woman. My point is “intent or motive”. This is what make you transgender. Not the action.
Further, on Halloween, Marti Gras and Carnaval, many cross dress. However, this does not make them transgender. It is a lark or done only or fun.
Definition - Motive is a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious.
In going back to the old-school “crossdresser” concept, denial is paramount and prevents you from admitting you are transgender. Be honest - Do you have more than one cross-gender outfit? Does your feminine/masculine personas have different names? Do you have an expensive wig and breast forms? How many pair of shoes? Do you plan trips or execute time alone so you can “dress up”?
Sure you do! What is your motive? It is to look your best. If not passable you still want to be perceived as representing femininity; emulating femininity. Because being feminine or vice-versa is your motive.
I have been there. I considered myself a plain vanilla “cross dresser” for many years. Early on during those years, I had an interesting experience one Halloween. Completely as Rhonda and after working a while on my nerve to get out of the car, I went into a club and sat down at the bar. The bartender took one look and said: “This is not your first time at doing this and likely will not be you last either. Right?” Busted! It was that obvious.
My hypothesis - What differentiates someone that is just cross dressing from someone who is a transgender person. It is the motive.
My motive that Halloween was to be Rhonda and be out in the world. That represented being perceived differently and that was OK. I overcame my fear that evening and did it. Over the years I have become honest with myself – I am a transgender person. How about you?
Please comment on my “motive” hypothesis.
Well written. I often say that cross dress is what I do...transgender is what I am. Whether dressed as a guy or as a girl or even when naked coming out of the shower I am still transgender.ReplyDelete
and I as well and very well stated Rhonda!ReplyDelete
Great comment - Thank you!!
I gave up on insisting that "transgender" is an adjective years ago. It has been so bastardized by people, including those in the transgender community, that it has little effect in describing who I am. It's now so commonly used as a noun, and even a verb. I once heard Oprah use it as a verb a few years ago, as in "When did you decide to transgender?". I never transgendered, nor have I been transgendered. Transgenderized? Transgenderated? Transgendering? I've heard them all. Using the abbreviation, "trans", now covers any and all of those, as far as the general population is concerned. Basically, I see "transgender" as a word for the rest of the world to use to help to define me, but I do not use it to define myself. I would say, and do say, to others who may be trying to grasp the concept - as it applies to me - that "trans" is short for "transcend". They will either walk away scratching their head or come to the realization that I do not need to - or want to - be defined by anyone else.ReplyDelete
If someone calls me a cross dresser, I always say that I'm usually not, as I'm more often a happy dresser!:-) I'm not happy to be called a cross dresser, however. It's true that I cross dressed many, many times in the past, but that was to relieve my dysphoria when I thought I had no other option. I never felt that I was a cross dresser (except in the sense that I was unhappy with my life situation) because there was so much more to my identity than the clothes I chose to wear. As the frequency of my feminine gender expression increased to be about 80% of the time, I really became a cross dresser the other 20% - in male drag. It's been a few years since I've had to do that, though.
My motivation to express myself as I do is nothing more than to be who I know myself to be. I have transcended past all boundaries and definitions, so that I don't consciously recognize that motivation much of the time. It's not what I'm wearing that defines me; it is the definitions that wear on me.
Thanks for the wonderful comment - WOWReplyDelete
Ha! Sorry, if I went on too long about it. The adjective thing was a pet peeve of mine years ago, but it was a losing battle. It did make me rethink all of this, though, and I believe I'm the better for it. I don't disparage your hypothesis; I was just extrapolating. BTW, I think your blog is "Transgenderrific"! :-)Delete
I hope all you t-types realize that the word you are all getting all exercised about us a made up word.ReplyDelete
Some will argue that it was made up, (coined) by Dr. Arnold Lohman, AKA "Virginia Prince", a notorious cross-dresser and publisher of Transvestia, a magazine for cross-dressers. Like Lehman-Prince he was just trying to come up with a word that he could define to his own liking, perhaps to make his own odd behavior, crossdressing, appear more acceptable. Much as crossdressers today are still coming up with new hypotheses to justify the same old thing.
This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyDelete
I do not need to justify my activity to anyone. I am being who I am. Properly describing it in a manner that is not hurtful or inappropriate is my goal. Permission neither asked for or needed.ReplyDelete
How is cross-dresser/transvestite a hurtful term? It is a simple description of actual fact.ReplyDelete